I hadn't until today... seems a little odd to me but if it helps any of
the families, so be it!
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articl ... imensions/
:yh_flag
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
That seems a bit weird to me!
What if Daddy stands on a landmine and comes home looking wrecked and not like the happy cardboard cutout? If the kids don't see him for months then they're just happy to get him back, but if they're used to seeing a big butch healthy-looking soldier and get given a wrecked limbless man it's going to be one hell of a shock for them!
I'm sorry, I can see why they want to remember their dads but this sounds cruel - they could be setting those kids up for a horrendous shock.
What if Daddy stands on a landmine and comes home looking wrecked and not like the happy cardboard cutout? If the kids don't see him for months then they're just happy to get him back, but if they're used to seeing a big butch healthy-looking soldier and get given a wrecked limbless man it's going to be one hell of a shock for them!
I'm sorry, I can see why they want to remember their dads but this sounds cruel - they could be setting those kids up for a horrendous shock.
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chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
That is a little strange.....................
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
Well, there will never be one of those in my house!
We have pictures. Lots of pictures. A couple of my favorites are ones that he had taken while he was there.
We have pictures. Lots of pictures. A couple of my favorites are ones that he had taken while he was there.
Sandi
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
Sort of a little bit like flat pop. Now I like flat pop cuz the bubbles hurt my throat, but a flat daddy.........dunno........no bounce......wonder if he talks.:-3
miriam:yh_flower
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
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cherandbuster
- Posts: 8594
- Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
If it helps the children cope with the absence of their father, I really don't see the harm of it.
Whatever works in a time of war
Whatever works in a time of war
Live Life with
PASSION!:guitarist
PASSION!:guitarist
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
I'm sorry LilacDragon, I didn't mean to sound insensitive. I forgot your hubby was in the Forces. And no disrespect, I think they're all amazing and underpaid for what they do.
I just seem to have my foot in my mouth tonight, everything's coming out wrong!
I'd better bugger off before I say something even stupider!
I just seem to have my foot in my mouth tonight, everything's coming out wrong!
I'd better bugger off before I say something even stupider!
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
cherandbuster wrote: If it helps the children cope with the absence of their father, I really don't see the harm of it.
Whatever works in a time of war
I am not sure exactly how it would help a child cope with the absence of their father, though.
My husband went to Egypt shortly after our son started kindergarten. While that assignment wasn't "dangerous" we did sit down with our son and explain to him what was going on and what daddy would be doing.
Maybe we are not a normal family. I don't believe in hiding important things from my children. When DH went to Iraq, our son had just turned 7. Before he left, the three of us sat down and talked about Daddy's job and what kinds of things Dad would be doing while in Iraq. We discussed the fact that there are lots of "bad guys" there and they are trying to kill Americans, so there was a possibility that Daddy could get hurt or die. We also discussed what would happen if Daddy was killed - so far as burial and such.
My husband has always encouraged our son to talk to me about "boy" things. And we are a very open family - we are not afraid to show our emotions in front of our children. Yes, we have had arguements in front of the children and yes, we kiss and make up in front of the children. (We do have a lock on the bedroom door for adult activities - we do not do that in front of the children!!)
This "flat daddy" thing though - that seems to me like not respecting your children. To try to substitute Dad (or Mom) with a piece of carboard instead of trusting them to be able to communicate their emotions.
Whatever works in a time of war
I am not sure exactly how it would help a child cope with the absence of their father, though.
My husband went to Egypt shortly after our son started kindergarten. While that assignment wasn't "dangerous" we did sit down with our son and explain to him what was going on and what daddy would be doing.
Maybe we are not a normal family. I don't believe in hiding important things from my children. When DH went to Iraq, our son had just turned 7. Before he left, the three of us sat down and talked about Daddy's job and what kinds of things Dad would be doing while in Iraq. We discussed the fact that there are lots of "bad guys" there and they are trying to kill Americans, so there was a possibility that Daddy could get hurt or die. We also discussed what would happen if Daddy was killed - so far as burial and such.
My husband has always encouraged our son to talk to me about "boy" things. And we are a very open family - we are not afraid to show our emotions in front of our children. Yes, we have had arguements in front of the children and yes, we kiss and make up in front of the children. (We do have a lock on the bedroom door for adult activities - we do not do that in front of the children!!)
This "flat daddy" thing though - that seems to me like not respecting your children. To try to substitute Dad (or Mom) with a piece of carboard instead of trusting them to be able to communicate their emotions.
Sandi
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cherandbuster
- Posts: 8594
- Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
LilacDragon wrote: I am not sure exactly how it would help a child cope with the absence of their father, though.
My husband went to Egypt shortly after our son started kindergarten. While that assignment wasn't "dangerous" we did sit down with our son and explain to him what was going on and what daddy would be doing.
Maybe we are not a normal family. I don't believe in hiding important things from my children. When DH went to Iraq, our son had just turned 7. Before he left, the three of us sat down and talked about Daddy's job and what kinds of things Dad would be doing while in Iraq. We discussed the fact that there are lots of "bad guys" there and they are trying to kill Americans, so there was a possibility that Daddy could get hurt or die. We also discussed what would happen if Daddy was killed - so far as burial and such.
My husband has always encouraged our son to talk to me about "boy" things. And we are a very open family - we are not afraid to show our emotions in front of our children. Yes, we have had arguements in front of the children and yes, we kiss and make up in front of the children. (We do have a lock on the bedroom door for adult activities - we do not do that in front of the children!!)
This "flat daddy" thing though - that seems to me like not respecting your children. To try to substitute Dad (or Mom) with a piece of carboard instead of trusting them to be able to communicate their emotions.
LDragon
After reading your most thoughtful post, I have great respect for how your family has handled this situation. You've made some excellent comments that have made me think.
That's a good thing
And I also think that arguing and making up in front of the children is not only realistic but good for them, too. It shows them that mommy and daddy can disagree and still love each other.
My husband's parents *never* argued in front of the three kids. And now, if we have any kind of conflict, my hubby often shuts down. He *never* got to see how grown-ups can disagree and still respect each other. He *never* got to see the closure of 'making up'.
My husband went to Egypt shortly after our son started kindergarten. While that assignment wasn't "dangerous" we did sit down with our son and explain to him what was going on and what daddy would be doing.
Maybe we are not a normal family. I don't believe in hiding important things from my children. When DH went to Iraq, our son had just turned 7. Before he left, the three of us sat down and talked about Daddy's job and what kinds of things Dad would be doing while in Iraq. We discussed the fact that there are lots of "bad guys" there and they are trying to kill Americans, so there was a possibility that Daddy could get hurt or die. We also discussed what would happen if Daddy was killed - so far as burial and such.
My husband has always encouraged our son to talk to me about "boy" things. And we are a very open family - we are not afraid to show our emotions in front of our children. Yes, we have had arguements in front of the children and yes, we kiss and make up in front of the children. (We do have a lock on the bedroom door for adult activities - we do not do that in front of the children!!)
This "flat daddy" thing though - that seems to me like not respecting your children. To try to substitute Dad (or Mom) with a piece of carboard instead of trusting them to be able to communicate their emotions.
LDragon
After reading your most thoughtful post, I have great respect for how your family has handled this situation. You've made some excellent comments that have made me think.
That's a good thing
And I also think that arguing and making up in front of the children is not only realistic but good for them, too. It shows them that mommy and daddy can disagree and still love each other.
My husband's parents *never* argued in front of the three kids. And now, if we have any kind of conflict, my hubby often shuts down. He *never* got to see how grown-ups can disagree and still respect each other. He *never* got to see the closure of 'making up'.
Live Life with
PASSION!:guitarist
PASSION!:guitarist
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Have you heard about Flat Daddies?
I don't remember my parents fighting much in front of me, either and I don't fight well. BUT - I am a bit of a hot head and will stand up for myself. Our fights don't get physical but they can get loud and we are not so good at sensoring our language. But, that is part of life, too.
I don't want my children to grow up sheltered. I want them to be able to be complete adults with the ability to deal with real life situations. Hiding things from them is not fair to them.
Our son is 8. He has always watched the news with us and we answer questions honestly. He watched the news for a bit with me today and heard about the school shooting in PA. He had a couple of questions and for a moment, expressed concern, but now we have talked about it and he thinks that you need to live life without worrying about everything that COULD happen.
My brother is a volunteer fireman. He goes out on runs and into burning buildings. That is, after all, what firemen do. He has NEVER sat down with his children (now 8 and 11) and talked to them about it. I can't help but wonder what they would do if something would happen to him.
I don't want my children to grow up sheltered. I want them to be able to be complete adults with the ability to deal with real life situations. Hiding things from them is not fair to them.
Our son is 8. He has always watched the news with us and we answer questions honestly. He watched the news for a bit with me today and heard about the school shooting in PA. He had a couple of questions and for a moment, expressed concern, but now we have talked about it and he thinks that you need to live life without worrying about everything that COULD happen.
My brother is a volunteer fireman. He goes out on runs and into burning buildings. That is, after all, what firemen do. He has NEVER sat down with his children (now 8 and 11) and talked to them about it. I can't help but wonder what they would do if something would happen to him.
Sandi