Glasgow earthquake appeal

A forum to discuss local issues in Scotland.
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buttercup
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:12 am

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by buttercup »

URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

At 00.54 on Thursday 20rd November 2008 a major earthquake hit measuring 4.8 on the richter scale epicentered on Glasgow.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz sh*ttin' masel", "Ah need some jellies".

The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused:

* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.

* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.

* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside the Modern Art Gallery.

* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow.

* One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.

* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.

* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Apparel is most sought after. Items required include:

- Sovvy rings

- Baseball caps

- Shell suits

- Tesco two stripe trainers

- White socks

- Chunky gold chains

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

- faggots and Buckfast

- Deep fried pizza's and Buckfast

- Pork Scratchings and Buckfast

- Tripe and Onions and Buckfast

- "Black Pud" and Buckfast

- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast

* £2 buys chips and ginger for a family of four.

* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.

* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.

Please help where you can.
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abbey
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by abbey »

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
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spot
Posts: 37976
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:19 pm
Location: Brigstowe

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by spot »

And there was me thinking Buckfast was just Jamesie Cotter's wee joke.
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buttercup
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:12 am

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by buttercup »

You ever been in Glasgow Spot? :wah:
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spot
Posts: 37976
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:19 pm
Location: Brigstowe

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by spot »

buttercup;1064592 wrote: You ever been in Glasgow Spot? :wah:


Once, for a week, in a second floor apartment on Sauchiehall Street. It's very reminiscent of those stone-built ponderous Eastern European cities rather than anything I'd identify as particularly British. I didn't get to see Govan, sadly.
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Galbally
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Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:26 pm

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by Galbally »

I went out with a woman from GLasgow for 5 years, she was a great girl, its kinda cool Glasgow, rough, but cool! :guitarist
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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buttercup
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:12 am

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by buttercup »

Although Govan was the setting for the show (or wine alley) it was seldom filmed there, as is often the case when depicting an area.
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buttercup
Posts: 6178
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:12 am

Glasgow earthquake appeal

Post by buttercup »

Galbally;1064608 wrote: I went out with a woman from GLasgow for 5 years, she was a great girl, its kinda cool Glasgow, rough, but cool! :guitarist


in some ways yes, in others no. Too much bigitory for my liking.

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