Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

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Nomad
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by Nomad »

Your doing the right thing by talking Dave.

Talk

Get perspective

Talk

Focus

Talk

Strive to become your highest self

Talk

Obtain long & short term goals for yourself

Talk

Forgive yourself for past discretions

Talk

You live, you breathe, you are purposeful

Talk some more

Feel free to pm me if you need a friend

My only valid purpose in life is to give.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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abbey
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by abbey »

Hiya Dave and welcome to the Garden,

i dont have the disorder but i'll welcome you on board.

Good to have you here x.
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capt_buzzard
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by capt_buzzard »

Welcome to FG Dave,
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minks
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Post by minks »

Welcome Dave and 1HB is correct in mentioning talk talk talk. We are good listeners here, and at some point some of us come up with some good advise. We are pretty supportive and always have an ear.

Stick around and I am sure you will find this out for yourself.

Cheers.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Jives
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by Jives »

BPD - bipolar disease? Isn't that a new word for manic-depression? Good luck with that, Dave.
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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mominiowa
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Post by mominiowa »

Good luck to you Dave......and welcome...Feel free to talk ~talk~ talk....here! Hang in there - and again WELCOME!:-6


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
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minks
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by minks »

How old are you?

What does your family do for support?

What kind of support group is out there in your area?

Check online for support groups even that is helpful.

www.dogpile.com then type into subject BPD Support groups this may lead you to some help.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Jives
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Emotionally unstable peronality disorder (BPD)

Post by Jives »

Borderline Personality Disorder - Symptoms:

Relationships with others are intense but stormy and unstable with marked shifts of feelings and difficulties in maintaining intimate, close connections.

The person may manipulate others and often has difficulty with trusting others.

There is also emotional instability with marked and frequent shifts to an empty lonely depression or to irritability and anxiety.

There may be unpredictable and impulsive behavior which might include excessive spending, promiscuity, gambling, drug or alcohol abuse, shoplifting, overeating or physically self-damaging actions such as suicide gestures.

The person may show inappropriate and intense anger or rage with temper tantrums, constant brooding and resentment, feelings of deprivation, and a loss of control or fear of loss of control over angry feelings.

There are also identity disturbances with confusion and uncertainty about self-identity, sexuality, life goals and values, career choices, friendships.

There is a deep-seated feeling that one is flawed, defective, damaged or bad in some way, with a tendency to go to extremes in thinking, feeling or behavior.

Under extreme stress or in severe cases there can be brief psychotic episodes with loss of contact with reality or bizarre behavior or symptoms.

Even in less severe instances, there is often significant disruption of relationships and work performance. The depression which accompanies this disorder can cause much suffering and can lead to serious suicide attempts.

Hmmm...tough luck, David, that's some pretty extreme emotional baggage to be carrying around. Are you one of the advanced cases?

Well, this is definitely out of my league, but as someone else with a terrible disese, you have my sympathies. Just go day to day with it and remember, no matter how you feel, you're a good person deep down inside. ;)
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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minks
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Post by minks »

Dave-B wrote: i am in my 40's never used drugs before anyone asks!!!! I ahve not seen my familly since 1989 although they only live a few miles down the road. Their attitude is you make your bed you lie on it!!!!!


Ouch.

Sorry yeah I read over your first post and found your age sorry.

What about support elsewhere?

Don't give up.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Jives
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Post by Jives »

Dave-B wrote: Their attitude is you make your bed you lie on it!!!!!


Ummm....actually David, since your disorder is genetic, THEY made your bed for you.

Don't they understand this? Do they know about your diagnosis? Without that diagnosis, it would be easy for the less "informed" to judge only your actions and assume that you are in control of them.

:-3
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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Peg
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Post by Peg »

Dave-B wrote: There is nothing worth living in my life. I have achieved nothing and have caused only pain and suffering, yet this is nothing to the pain and suffering that i will cause.


This is really bothering me. How do you know "this is nothing to the pain and suffering" you will cause? Do you plan to do something that will cause pain and suffering or do you just expect it to happen? I don't have any answers for you. It's up to you. Your determination to get help, your determination to make something of yourself and your life. Noone can do that for you. As for a family that would give up on you, it's their loss, not yours.
lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

Dave-B wrote: There is nothing worth living in my life. I have achieved nothing and have caused only pain and suffering, yet this is nothing to the pain and suffering that i will cause.not speaking as a cop here, but as a concerned person...would you be able to say whether you feel violent impulses? and would you mind saying what country you are in? there IS help available.
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

Dave I was almost dead 3 yrs ago. I was a chronic alcoholic and felt very much like you do now. My life changed with one step, then another, and another.

Today Im healthy, sober, happy, productive and very very happy to be alive.

Your not alone bro, thats a fact. Lets get to the root of it.
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minks
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Post by minks »

Dave sorry I am not qualified to offer up much here but can tell you these folks here are willing to help you out, give it a try. They are genuine.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
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abbey
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Post by abbey »

Dave-B wrote: there are times when i have violent impulses, i do not know for how long they last or how and when they come. I feel trapped in situations and yearn to be free to do my bidding. My ultimate quest is to be killed/die by whatever means and i feel it is my destiny to complete this.If i lived in the USA my destiny would already have been done. My heroes for better choice/term would be Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, Jack the ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, perhaps my name will eventually be linked in high esteem as these are.Lets get one thing straight mate, these people ARE NOT held in high esteem!
Jives
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Post by Jives »

Dave-B wrote: My heroes would be Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, Jack the ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, perhaps my name will eventually be linked in high esteem as these are.


Okay.. I tried to be nice, I really did.

That last statement is not the writing of a person who has a pschological problem and wants help, that was deliberately designed to be inflammatory for one of two reasons:

1. You want attention, and you'll take any kind... even negative attention.

2. You enjoy your "condition" and like being violent.

Either way, I just cut off my sympathy for you. Check yourself in, dude, commit yourself if you really think you'll become a serial killer, but I suspect you're just a regular guy with too much imagination and poor self-esteem and this whole "BPD" thing is just something you read in a medical journal somewhere.

And let's get this straight right now, those killers you named are NOT held in high esteem! They are reviled as total write-offs by all civilized human beings. It is not cool or interesting to be a killer and they do not fit the definition of "hero" in any way.

Get real. :cool:
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

this last post convinced me this is all a wind-up Jives.
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abbey
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Post by abbey »

John you truly are my hero x
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minks
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Post by minks »

Well Dave we don't take kindly to someone coming on here and yanking our chains, so what ever game you might be playing think twice about who your trying to mess with. Not nice.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

I wouldnt be too quick to judge no one knows what it feels like to walk in someone elses shoes.
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Jives
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Post by Jives »

Dave-B wrote: I did not make my life the way it is, but i am what i am!!!!


You don't like your life? So change it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and making offensive comments like "serial killers are my heros".

I've been homeless before, I've been in jail too, but when things got the worst, I stood up, brushed myself off and told myself, "Time for me to change who I am."

Then I went out, got some more education and started a new life in a different environment. I don't have sympathy for those who cry about their condition in life, yet do nothing to change it.

Once, I was a nerdy, poor self-esteemed teenager in a small town in Montana. I didn't like who I was then either. i got beat up regularly, and I had no friends. I didn't like it, so I changed. I dressed differently, I spoke differently, I treated people differently, and eventually I rewrote my personality. How? It's easy, you just begin acting the way you'd like to be. If you do it long enough, you become that person you wanted to be all along.

Now I'm an outgoing, gregarious, flamboyant fighter-pilot / math teacher. Just what I wanted!

That's why I know for a FACT that this whole "I am who I am" thing is a sham. You probably believe that right now, but you're wrong....you can change.
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

My mother was a violent alcoholic she tried killing me when I was 13.

I dont blame her for anything I dont look back.

Your wrong in not taking responsibility for your thoughts or actions.

You make choices every day whether you realize it or not. You are in control of your own destiny.

What do you want from life ? Pity That will get you everywhere you dont want to be. Stand up and face yourself ! If you dont know one will ! Im living proof that life goes on with or without you its your choice !
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minks
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Post by minks »

1humanbeing wrote: My mother was a violent alcoholic she tried killing me when I was 13.

I dont blame her for anything I dont look back.

Your wrong in not taking responsibility for your thoughts or actions.

You make choices every day whether you realize it or not. You are in control of your own destiny.

What do you want from life ? Pity That will get you everywhere you dont want to be. Stand up and face yourself ! If you dont know one will ! Im living proof that life goes on with or without you its your choice !


Faith helps those who help themselves, I say.

And there is help out there Dave, and 1HB has good advice. Many of us on this board have faced all kinds of life challenges and I am proud to say I know these folks, and am sorry I didn't know them earlier in my time of need.

Take help wherever you can get it, and if you are genuinely asking, then genuinely try.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Jives
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Post by Jives »

Good point Minks!

As a matter of fact, almost everyone on this board has faced terrible problems in their lives, David.

We all made it through, not by saying "I am this way" but by saying, "I will change and go on."

Perserverence, and a desire to change...that's what you need.
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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minks
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Post by minks »

Jives wrote: Good point Minks!

As a matter of fact, almost everyone on this board has faced terrible problems in their lives, David.

We all made it through, not by saying "I am this way" but by saying, "I will change and go on."

Perserverence, and a desire to change...that's what you need.


And Dave...it's all we can offer you on this board, is support, we can't make the changes, and we won't guide you to ending it.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

eventually I rewrote my personality. How? It's easy, you just begin acting the way you'd like to be. If you do it long enough, you become that person you wanted to be all along.



Outstanding ! This is very healthy advise and the same method I used to crawl out of my hole. You choose who you want to be, then you act accordingly.

It doesnt happen overnight but if your sincere, honest and diligent one day you wake up and find you love yourself.

Life is no easy task for anyone its an ongoing battle. You choose the path and stay the course and you find many reasons to live.

Most of them having to do with what you can offer others, you care about yourself you have a gift to offer others thats what its all about and thats when you begin to reap the rewards when you give yourself away.
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Jives
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Post by Jives »

Dave-B wrote: What do i really want. I want to die.


Well don't worry, you'll get your wish... eventually.

In the meantime, don't you want to see a few more sunsets? How about lying in the grass with a girl that loves you? Seeing your child be born? and Grow up? What about diving into a cold, clear lake on a burning hot day? Eating a tasty steak with all the trimmings? Putting the star at the top of the Christmas tree for your wife and little family? (one of my favorites!)

There's a lot to do and be here on this plane of existence, David. There's as much love and joy as you can stand, but you have to make it happen! Stop looking forward to the end and start looking around you right now. :o
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

Dave-B wrote: What do i really want. I want to die. be free from all these thoughts going through my head. Yes i want it to be painless, who doesn't. Some people cant understand that i know. Give me the way out and i will take it. When all the memories have silenced then i will have peace!!!!


Hey bad news Dave................theres pain everywhere, it gets all of us.

Cant avoid it.....the thing is your character and worth are developed by how you handle your struggles

Is any of this sinking in or are you content to swim in Lake David for eternity.

You die then yes your life was a sham.

You survive you earn respect, admiration and most of all you get the greatest gift of all.....life every single day is a precious gift and if you waste that gift guess what ?

You miss the boat....so sorry but its your decision to make and yours alone.

If you choose to miss the boat no you dont deserve respect...you stand up and fight for your life ? You get everything.
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minks
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Post by minks »

Dave it sounds cliche, but you have already recognized you are a problem with a problem, and I guess only you determine your direction. But for many of us here, coming to terms with ourselves, and making the choice to move forward and work on making our lives better was because we were able to make that choice. Stick around and read some of the posts, we have survived: cancer, heart attacks, cancer treatments, dyslexia, arthritis, abuse, alcoholisim, ugly divorces, just to name a few and it has not been easy and we all didn't come here wishing to die, we came here looking for friends and support and sounding boards and you know if you have any inkling of survival and trying to make the tiniest improvement then count us in.

Something quite amazing about FG is we all came here by chance and amazingly we all have some pretty dam amazing stories.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Jives
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Post by Jives »

minks wrote:

Something quite amazing about FG is that we all came here by chance and yet amazingly, we all have some pretty damn amazing stories.


That's so true, Minks. I guess that just proves that everyone has trouble in their lives!

David, if you stick around you'll see something else even more amazing. Those same people who have had their lives devastated by disease and heart-breaking misfortune...

are still wonderful, upbeat, outgoing, and friendly people!

Minks, herself, is a shining example of this! ;)
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
Jives
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Post by Jives »

Dave-B wrote: I have committed anforgivable things in the past.


Unforgivable, basically because you are refusing to forgive yourself.

I do not hold my i cannot change the past. I seek solice in death, but death does not want me yet. It tortures me teasing me tempting me making my life misery. I will get what i deserve untill then i must suffer this meaningless life.


Whoa...too dark and depressing for me. I think I'll go swimming! David, do you have a swimming pool in your town? Why not get out of that dark hole you're in and go out and jump in some cool water and splash around a bit in the sunshine? You could do a somersault or pretend to be a dolphin! :D

(Jives logs off, grabs his towel and goggles and strolls out into the sunlight whistling "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music")

Raindrops on roses,

And whiskers on kittens,

Bright copper kettles,

And warm woolen mittens,

Brown paper packages,

Tied up with strings,

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

Cream colored ponies,

An' crisp apple strudels,

Doorbells an' sleigh bells,

An' schnitzel with noodles,

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings,

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

Girls in white dresses,

With blue satin sashes,

Snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,

Silver white winters,

That melt into springs,

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

When the dog bites,

When the bee stings,

When I'm feelin' sad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad!
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

The very bottom line David is it is your life to do with as you choose.
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

I dont trust you or believe you any longer

no shame on us

shame on you

see ya
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Peg
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Post by Peg »

I'll bite. What is the unforgivable crime you committed?
Jives
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Post by Jives »

flopstock wrote: 'Borderline' you say? Okay fine. Time to step back over the border friend.


Whoa! Nice TECH-skillz Floppie! That was the most complicated and technical post I ever saw you write and it worked like a charm! You've certainly come a long way, You are now officially not a n()()b anymore!:D

I am sick and tired of what was done to people as a child being used as a crutch for what they do with themselves in life.


(Jives gives Flopstock a standing ovation) Woo-Hoo!

BTW the serial killer bit..nice touch. Hope i haven't spent so long responding that i miss the post where we discover you are michael jackson or bin laden.


ROFLMAO!! Stop it, you're killin' me! You're slaying me! I cracketh up to mucheth!WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!:yh_rotfl

Man! That's just too funny!
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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minks
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Post by minks »

Well Dave, the rest is up to you I guess.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West

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