Peaceful Living

Discuss alternative healing (Yoga, Reflexology) and self-help type books for the mind and thoughts for the soul.
koan
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Peaceful Living

Post by koan »

It was suggested that a thread be started to discuss how to resolve stress and live a peaceful life. I figured Body, Mind & Soul would be the right place for this. Figuring out where to start is always the hardest part. Luckily I have a tool to help. The Zen Cards by Daniel Levin. These cards have provided me with perspective and right thought on a number of occasions. I keep them on the kitchen table and try to remember to draw a card every morning. The thoughts and advice here do not have to be Buddhist...it is just a place to start.

Randomly choosing a starter thought, I drew the following:

Understanding

What happens to you does not matter; What you BECOME through those experiences is all that is significant. This is the true MEANING of life.
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capt_buzzard
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Post by capt_buzzard »

Good Gal. You always bring a little peace into our lives.















He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him.



Dutch proverb
koan
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Post by koan »

Capt. it is nice to think that is true.

As for the zen thought: I find that a lot of anxiety can come from jumping to conclusions. When something happens or someone says/does something negative to us we think it is reflective of who we are or of what our life will be like in the future. I like to think of everything as an opportunity. I can not control what others do and say but I can control my own reaction. As I grow as a person, my reactions, generally, become wiser and more peaceful. There are a lot of bad things that happened in my life but each one has helped to shape who I have become. If I do not like what I am becoming I have the opportunity to rethink my perspective and the way I react. If we are nothing but an accumulation of our experiences then each one becomes sacred whether it is deemed positive or negative.
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

koan wrote: It was suggested that a thread be started to discuss how to resolve stress and live a peaceful life. I figured Body, Mind & Soul would be the right place for this. Figuring out where to start is always the hardest part. Luckily I have a tool to help. The Zen Cards by Daniel Levin. These cards have provided me with perspective and right thought on a number of occasions. I keep them on the kitchen table and try to remember to draw a card every morning. The thoughts and advice here do not have to be Buddhist...it is just a place to start.



Randomly choosing a starter thought, I drew the following:



Understanding



What happens to you does not matter; What you BECOME through those experiences is all that is significant. This is the true MEANING of life.
To each his own, but rather than resolving stress, how about finding the cause of the stress and elimanating it?
Beth
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Post by Beth »

Lon wrote: To each his own, but rather than resolving stress, how about finding the cause of the stress and elimanating it?
I think that is part of resolving stress. Eliminating stressors can take great strength and maturity, it can be part of character building, but there are also stressors in life that we have no choice but to learn to tolerate and cope with.
koan
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Post by koan »

Lon wrote: To each his own, but rather than resolving stress, how about finding the cause of the stress and elimanating it?


Would you like a semi automatic for that? ;)

How you deal with the cause of stress is how you grow from the experience. Sometime you just can't turn the other cheek. Do I owe Kenny Rogers for that?

I think walking away is appropriate...some of the time. I must also remember to defend my own rights and the rights of people, in general. But is the fight worth the cost? It is a necessary assessment. Most of my battles have resulted in me feeling good about defending myself whether I win or not. When I walk away I walk with dignity. I must admit to having stretched the battle out too long sometimes, though. I lost my peacefulness and sense of rightness and so next time I hope to be wiser.

Note. I usually win. :D (let me believe this at least for a while)
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

koan wrote: Would you like a semi automatic for that? ;)



How you deal with the cause of stress is how you grow from the experience. Sometime you just can't turn the other cheek. Do I owe Kenny Rogers for that?



I think walking away is appropriate...some of the time. I must also remember to defend my own rights and the rights of people, in general. But is the fight worth the cost? It is a necessary assessment. Most of my battles have resulted in me feeling good about defending myself whether I win or not. When I walk away I walk with dignity. I must admit to having stretched the battle out too long sometimes, though. I lost my peacefulness and sense of rightness and so next time I hope to be wiser.



Note. I usually win. :D (let me believe this at least for a while)
I am not trying to be hard headed Koan, but could you give me a couple of examples of stressors that can not be eliminated?
koan
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Post by koan »

Lon wrote: I am not trying to be hard headed Koan, but could you give me a couple of examples of stressors that can not be eliminated?


A child.

A parent.

The trucks that used to hitch behind my house that the city and courts wouldn't do anything about unless I shelled out a fortune to a lawyer to cross all the "t"s and dot all the "i"s even though I had all the precedent cases and spent two years building my case.

That should be a good start.

The only reason I say "used to" is because I moved, also at great expense.
kensloft
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Post by kensloft »

Lon wrote: I am not trying to be hard headed Koan, but could you give me a couple of examples of stressors that can not be eliminated?
I think that you could be and are a stressor. The question is simple... how to remove stress and live in a peaceful life and not in the frenetic one that is mostly seen as society in motion.

One of the first things that I would leave behind is the easy attitude on telling lies. The only thing that telling lies teaches you is that only stupid people tell lies. Figuring out and realizng that telling lies is stupid and shouldn't be done is one of the smartest and wisest things that you can do. It takes a smart person to realize when they are stupid and are willing to admit to it. One of the hardest things to do is to stop telling lies. If youcheck into your life you will usually find that at the root of any problem is a lie. Whether it is yours or someone else's it cause the same damage to the psyche.

I don't tell lies as a matter of course. It is not easy to do because everybody is convinced that you can't live without lying. I even admit that there are times that I would tell a lie. If somebody in a funny suit came to me and asked if I knew where any Kik*s, nig*ers or whatevers liveing, I would tell them that I didn't. I would not be lying because the descriptives would have no cognizance to my world. However the nit pickers would say that I lied because I didn't tell where they were hidden. Others would call it a White Lie. Pick your choose.

Bottom line is that is a stressor that the world can do without. And if I recall the Bibles and the Koran and many other books say that this is the way to a peaceful life: The removal of untruth from the life of the of the ordinary person.

Correct me if I am wrong.
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

koan wrote: A child.

A parent.

The trucks that used to hitch behind my house that the city and courts wouldn't do anything about unless I shelled out a fortune to a lawyer to cross all the "t"s and dot all the "i"s even though I had all the precedent cases and spent two years building my case.



That should be a good start.



The only reason I say "used to" is because I moved, also at great expense.
Thank you Koan----I guess because of my tendency to either ignore stress or automatically deal with it as part of life, I am not recognizing the effect that it can have on another persons life. I didn't mean to make lite of it.
A Karenina
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Post by A Karenina »

I believe in Grace, Under Pressure. Thank you, Queen, love the song. :)

We aren't defined by the problems we have, but in how we respond to them...as Koan has already said. :-6



But, what does that mean? Can we be under tremendous amounts of stress, like caring for a dying parent, and still feel peaceful? No, I don't think we can. But what we do while caring for that parent will allow us to feel peace/dignity later on, when we heal from the experience.



That doesn't mean we shouldn't make the effort to find little moments of peace as we go through a stressful period. Yoga was mentioned, I love bubble baths and reading in bed, or exercise, talking with friends, a long walk, candles and a glass of wine...whatever brings pleasure and comfort.



Just my thoughts.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

Aristotle
koan
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Post by koan »

Here's another card that is somewhat related but brings up other issues:

Contentment

REJOICE in whatever life gives you. Crave nothing else. KNOW that whatever you have been given is for your own highest good.

My first thought was that this would be a hard pill to swallow for someone with a debilitating illness or who lost a child...etc. But it does provide helpful advice for people who are discontent in their material life or with their bodies.
kensloft
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Post by kensloft »

koan wrote: Here's another card that is somewhat related but brings up other issues:

Contentment

REJOICE in whatever life gives you. Crave nothing else. KNOW that whatever you have been given is for your own highest good.

My first thought was that this would be a hard pill to swallow for someone with a debilitating illness or who lost a child...etc. But it does provide helpful advice for people who are discontent in their material life or with their bodies.
Contentment is such an exquisite word that illustrates that the world is as it should be. Everything that comes to you is for a purpose and a reason that will show itself when the time is right. Being comfortable and happy with who you are is the road to being liberated. I love you.
A Karenina
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Post by A Karenina »

koan wrote: Here's another card that is somewhat related but brings up other issues:



Contentment



REJOICE in whatever life gives you. Crave nothing else. KNOW that whatever you have been given is for your own highest good.
Eeeekkk!! Ok, stop the train, I wanna get off. :) Crave nothing else? How could I progress if I craved nothing else, was perfectly content, and accepted my circumstances? That's limiting, entrapment.



I know that what I've been given is an opportunity to learn something, to be better than I am today. Or worse (shrug) - my choice. I accept the challenge, but I reject the situation. That would be saying that I have reached my potential, I'm mediocre, and it's all good....it's not good! (laughing at myself).
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

Aristotle
koan
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Post by koan »

LOL, AK.

Sometimes ambition is good, I think. It helps us to arrive somewhere we need to be. But to not crave would kill envy and jealousy...very good move in my books. And it takes away from the feeling of having been cheated because we don't have the latest audio/video equipment. My imagination has always sufficed. Who needs consumerism? I am an anti consumer and I appreciate this card on that level most definately.
A Karenina
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Post by A Karenina »

Koan :-6 We people are funny creatures. You were using the word contentment in a specific context while I applied it to my whole life. I wonder what other people thought when they read it.

Materialism - I totally agree with you. I like fine things. If I satisfied my own tastes, I would never be able to afford myself. LOL. But I'm not a big consumer, or someone who buys things simply to possess. I don't tend to feel envy or jealousy over what other people have. I do get struck on occasion when I see parents with their kids. I don't begrudge them, but I do feel the hollowness in myself. That's something different, though.



I wonder at times...it's been years of determined movement, propelling myself forwards. When I finally reach my goals, what's that gonna be like? I've mentioned this before on the retirement threads. For me, is contentment the constant striving to improve or to get somewhere else?
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

Aristotle
koan
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Post by koan »

AK, if you are constantly striving then it seems you are not content. ?

My card for today was:

Zen Mind

EXPERIENCE all the things with the enthusiasm of a child, as if you were seeing it for the FIRST time. This is the Zen Mind, always new, always aware, always that of a beginner.

I have been often called naive for being like a child in this way. Sometimes I am naive but mostly I choose to see the world as innocence in development. Everthing is wonderous and huge when you look with the right eyes. I don't need to be an expert. I know what I know and I hope to feel what I feel. No tantrums for me, though. The ground is hard and my bones getting older. :D I guess I don't mind being naive that much.
koan
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Post by koan »

Here's a card for the day. This one came up in another thread titled the same thing. It is definately something people struggle with.

Forgiveness

FORGIVE yourself and everyone around you. When you judge others, YOU are the one who feels pain. Through forgiveness, all pain disappears.
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capt_buzzard
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Post by capt_buzzard »

I often wonder where has all the Love and Peace gone in a world filled with War.
koan
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Post by koan »

capt_buzzard wrote: I often wonder where has all the Love and Peace gone in a world filled with War.


It's gone to hell, but I believe there is always a way to get out again. Make love not war. :D

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