Medical Reasons for Abortion

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TenneseeGirl
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Post by TenneseeGirl »

A friend of mine recently found out she was pregnant. My first reaction was "Congrats!". Then she informed me that she most likely conceived when her husband was doing his shot regimant for the army. This included the small pox vaccine. She has already spoken with her husband in Iraq and they have deceided to abort the child for fear of any severe complications. I was just wondering what you all thought of this? Are those of you whom are anti abortion opposed to this as well even though the complications can be severe to the mother?

I will be at the clinic with her when she goes in. I know how difficult it is to make the choice. I also know you need a support system. She has chosen not to tell her parents because they are in the I want grandbabies mode. I would like to encourage her to talk to them before the fact. But i am not sure how. What do you suggest?
~~~~~

Just some food for thought. Swallow it or not that's up to you.:lips:
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nvalleyvee
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Post by nvalleyvee »

My cousin - your second cousin - has had two kids after Gulf War that have major problems from his military innoculations.
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abbey
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Post by abbey »

What implications are there for the baby if she carried it?
orangesox1
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Post by orangesox1 »

abbey wrote: What implications are there for the baby if she carried it?


I think she really needs to look into that first, surley they can run some tests to find out if something is wrong. Also abortion caused a lot of problems for my sister who was RH negative. she lost two babies after because of it and then concieved twins, one had blood transfusions through the umbilical cord while she was carrying it, both twins lived.



I am not anti abortion for medical reasons, but I would be asking a lot of Qs before I went ahead with it.
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SOJOURNER
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Post by SOJOURNER »

It is so much easier to view this question on abortion when you are not one of the parents to be.

Babies seem to come to us either with the greatest of joy and anticipation or with shock, fear and trepidation.

It is very easy for those on the "outside" to give an opinion, it is another to have to live out that opinion. A complicated pregnancy and bearing a handicapped child is not just a decision about the new life ready to be born, it is a decision that will have its emotional, spiritual and financial impact on the whole family, and beyond.

In a "perfect world" we would all have the capacity to live out our highest ideals, but in the reality of this world, not everyone is up to that challenge.

It saddens me that your friend has to face this difficult time without her husband to comfort and support her. She is very lucky to have you to lean on for support during this difficult time.

Before I was married and had children of my own, my views were very black and white. This is right. This is wrong. I have since learned that life comes to us with a lot of gray. I am no longer sure it is "right" to legislate values on other people. I personally am still very much against using abortion as a birth control. However, I now do believe there are situations that warrent a termination and only those who must live with the results of that decision are qualified to make that decision.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

SOJOURNER wrote: [...]Before I was married and had children of my own, my views were very black and white. This is right. This is wrong. I have since learned that life comes to us with a lot of gray. I am no longer sure it is "right" to legislate values on other people. I personally am still very much against using abortion as a birth control. However, I now do believe there are situations that warrent a termination and only those who must live with the results of that decision are qualified to make that decision.
I am adamant that it is wrong to legislate values on other people. I am just as adamant that it is wrong to abort a baby because it might have problems. I agree that the decision belongs to the parents, both parents. I don't believe I could support a friend's decision to abort for any reason at all. I would not be there for her in such an instance. Granted, I have no firsthand experience.
jasmund
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Post by jasmund »

She needs to speak to her physician first, and get a second opinion quickly, time runs out. Where I live abortions are not legally performed after the first trimester.

Personally , when I was younger I was probably THE most against abortion in the world!!!!(I was placed in an orphanage, )At least I was loved that much, to be given a chance.If I had been aborted, My lil son would not be here today.

-However, since I have worked in various positions in the medical field, I have seen many horrors. A man who just came out of prison for molesting both daughters.After 7 years in prison, he now was fully rehabilitated,(yeah right) and

this individual was 17 her dad was out 1 week and raped, yep you guessed it she was pregnant. She came to us telling her dad that she couldnt stop her period, smart girl! She told me what was going on when I was drawing her blood, I alerted the Dr. We both spoke to her in the exam room, and made notes of bruised etc. And even though this Dr. was a jerk, he called the police and they arrested him in the office. (Booo ya!) She chose an abortion, and suffered extremem depression, because she was concerned with issues of religion.

It is that persons choice. But in this case I think second and third opinions are needed. Also, did you know, that you are more likely to birth a child with some type of virus or serious problem, than a completely normal baby. Yep , just read it in one of the medical mags at work, my son was born with strep, and grunting, and sleep apnea, and I didnt so much as take a tylenol. And I didnt have strep.

And I read every label for nine months of what I ingested.

-

Ask her, Lets say she has the baby, ok, and everythings all wonderful, shes bonding ,dads bonding and gram and gramps are bonding, and then, something comes up , problems with her heart, etc. would she want to just destroy the baby.

Because to some , thats the same thing, to others it's not.

I will pray for peace of heart and mind for them.

-You are a very good friend to her. Be strong, and let us know, god bless you all.

Jasmund

ps. sorry so long. :confused:
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LilacDragon
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Post by LilacDragon »

When I was pregnant with my son, one of the tests that I took said that there was a chance that my child had Trisome 18. While I can't tell you all of the medical reasons for this, I can tell you what I was told.

A Trisome 18 baby is "not compatible with life" is the way my doctor put it. They usually die within hours of birth, have major deformities and very little brain function. After consulting with a genetics specialist, it was decided that abortion would be the best option, depending on the results of the fancy ultrasound that we had scheduled for that afternoon.

Fortunately, he was perfect in the ultrasound and the decision was moot. He is a perfectly wonderful (and typically irritating) 7 year old now.

It saddens me, Accountable, that you would deny a friend comfort during a difficult time because they made a decision that you didn't agree with. Having to make this decision, when the child is very much wanted can be devastating and friends are very important in times like this.
Sandi



ubetta
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Post by ubetta »

TenneseeGirl wrote: A friend of mine recently found out she was pregnant. My first reaction was "Congrats!". Then she informed me that she most likely conceived when her husband was doing his shot regimant for the army. This included the small pox vaccine. She has already spoken with her husband in Iraq and they have deceided to abort the child for fear of any severe complications. I was just wondering what you all thought of this? Are those of you whom are anti abortion opposed to this as well even though the complications can be severe to the mother?

I will be at the clinic with her when she goes in. I know how difficult it is to make the choice. I also know you need a support system. She has chosen not to tell her parents because they are in the I want grandbabies mode. I would like to encourage her to talk to them before the fact. But i am not sure how. What do you suggest?


I'm for her speaking with her parents beforehand but she knows them better than I do. I know how I would react and would want to be there with my daughter, if not when she goes for the operation, then at least before and after. I would want to know what I'm dealing with and not be in the dark...that would disturb me. It would hurt me to know she didn't trust me or needed help to get over the "guilt" of aborting "my" grandchild when the most important thing to me is HER. I would want the oportunity to let her know that in advance.

But. That's me.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

LilacDragon wrote: [...]

It saddens me, Accountable, that you would deny a friend comfort during a difficult time because they made a decision that you didn't agree with. Having to make this decision, when the child is very much wanted can be devastating and friends are very important in times like this.
I'm there for my friend right up until the decision is made. I will not sit with a friend while she kills herself (say, by shooting up heroine) and I will not sit and support murdering a baby. I would be there for her when she comes out of the hospital, if she decides the friendship is still viable.
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chonsigirl
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Post by chonsigirl »

I agree with AC, maybe it's better not to be friends with that person anymore.

They must learn to live with their decision, and if it is at conflict with one's opinion of the matter, then maybe they need help elsewhere.

AC is kinder then me, he would be there for them afterwards, I would not. The friendship would be finished. I do not believe in abortion, and this case seems to have no real reason why to do this.
Jives
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Post by Jives »

That's funny. I find this issue very black and white.

1. Have a possibly deformed and mutated baby.

2. Abort and try again.

Better luck next time, says I. Abort away!;)
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Post by pantsonfire321@aol.com »

I had an operation then found out i was 13 1/2 weeks pregnant - so id been about 9 1/2 weeks when the operation took place. I really had no idea i was pregnant i had had a period just like normal. It was only after the surgery that i felt like s***, felt sick sore n****** you know the signs girls - i even called out the doctor and said you what if i didnt know better i would think i was pregnant .The doctor examined me - impossible he said it was a reaction to the surgery and painkillers and prescribed more drugs - a few weeks later i took the test hey presto it was positive, but i new it hadnt happened since the op . The consultant gave me a scan and yes i was pregnant yes it had arms and legs but no they couldnt tell me if it had fingers or not with all the drugs i had taken been on sunbeds done every thing your not suppose to do - could i of taken that chance - Back then i couldnt of given birth to a handicapped child now im older and wiser so i feel differently now. I Believe a woman has a choice and its never an easy choice . I am paying for it now because we are still trying years later, an the best bit - they had a bloody camera inside me and still didnt see the baby -
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

Jives wrote: That's funny. I find this issue very black and white.



1. Have a possibly deformed and mutated baby.

2. Abort and try again.



Better luck next time, says I. Abort away!;)
Gee that's glib. Does it matter what stage the baby is in?
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: I Believe a woman has a choice and its never an easy choice .
I took this out of context, but it brings up the question: does/should the man have any say in the decision? There was no disagreement in the first post, but what if there were?
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LilacDragon
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Post by LilacDragon »

Well, of course the man should be able to give his opinion. We let you have yours after all. :D

So, do you draw a line at all, or is abortion for any reason not an option? If the child will have major deformities (missing arms, legs) and will have limited brain function, should the mother still have this child?

And if the mother has this child (that requires round the clock care) and the father of this child is either not present from the beginning or leaves the mother because he just can't take the stress of having to deal with the emotional and financial drain of both the child and now the mother - should the mother be able to collect welfare and every other type of financial support that the government has to offer so that she can stay home and care for this child?
Sandi



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Bez
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Post by Bez »

Accountable wrote: Gee that's glib. Does it matter what stage the baby is in?


A couple of my own personal observations/opinions.........





A baby is a baby from day one

Mother/Father relationships come under huge pressure when a physically / mentally handicapped child arrives....a huge proportion of relationships do not survive

There are many medical tests, processes that can be used to check for problems at an early stage of pregnancy

There is a lot of support and counselling around

There are lots of societys that specialise in specific disorders where help and experience abound

Some problems can be put right after birth or in the early years

Time is NOT on the mothers side when making these decisions

There are millions of people in this world that live a full life with disabilities...no ones saying it's easy though.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Geez, talk about taking the abortion issue to new levels!



I can understand the parents decision to abort IF all the avenues have been explored and it's been determined that this child would have severe birth defects. It is an incredibly difficult decision, I'm sure, but it makes sense to me.

As for talking to her parents? No way. I know how my mother would react, and there is no way I'd give her the chance to heap her guilt on me or try to talk me out of it. As a grown woman, she does not have to justify or discuss her decision with anyone other than her husband. It's private, it's personal, and it's damn hard enough without bringing in your parents.
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pina
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Post by pina »

I think its down to each individual whether or not to abort, yes ask advice from friends and family but when it comes down to it, its the parents that have to raise that child to adulthood.....If it were me then after finding out all the details I could, and it was definate that the baby was going to be seriously handicapped or mentally retarded, the Yes I would abort, the simple reason is that, I know I couldn't look after and raise a child like that.... I so admire the people who do..... I do not take abortions lightly but in some circumstances I think its ok.















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chonsigirl
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Post by chonsigirl »

Jives wrote: That's funny. I find this issue very black and white.

1. Have a possibly deformed and mutated baby.

2. Abort and try again.

Better luck next time, says I. Abort away!;)
Sorry Jives, easy to say for you, you're a man........................

Life begins at conception, if she aborts, she murders her child.

That is the black and white of it.
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Betty Boop
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Post by Betty Boop »

Wow, what a topic!

I don't think I could actually make a decision until I was actually in 'those shoes'

As a Mum with a disabled child already my gut reaction would be, no I can't cope with any more, but in reality I don't think I could actually have an abortion.

I'm not against abortion, but I think it's a personal choice for the woman/couple concerned.

I have a friend who had an abortion at 16, a PID went un-detected and now she is infertile and heart-broken as a result. If she could turn back time I know she would.

I would stand by my friend no matter what her decision, it is hers and her partners decision.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

chonsigirl wrote: Life begins at conception, if she aborts, she murders her child.

That is the black and white of it.
In your opinion.

I do think it's important to clarify that.



Bez, I should amend my comments, too. It should depend on the relationship each person has with their parents whether or not they bring them into the equation. You handled the conversation with your daughter well, my mother would not have. Like most situations, each circumstance should be considered on a case-by-case basis.

Obviously, each person would know best themselves whether or not to include their parents.
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Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


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Bez
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Post by Bez »

BabyRider wrote: Like most situations, each circumstance should be considered on a case-by-case basis.

Obviously, each person would know best themselves whether or not to include their parents.


I wholeheartedly agree....
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

LilacDragon wrote: Well, of course the man should be able to give his opinion. We let you have yours after all. :D
So you agree that if a woman wants to abort (kill) the baby and the man does not, the woman must carry the baby to term?



LilacDragon wrote: So, do you draw a line at all, or is abortion for any reason not an option? If the child will have major deformities (missing arms, legs) and will have limited brain function, should the mother still have this child?
Ask the lady, a fellow Gardener, whose young son has Down's Syndrome that question. Or the parents of the young man born with useless legs (he had them amputated) I saw on 60 Minutes or one of its twins, who took a date to his high school prom. Or the young man born with half-length arms & legs, who made his high school varsity wrestling team. Personally, I think both parents of any child conceived of concentual sex should have veto power over the decision to abort.



LilacDragon wrote: And if the mother has this child (that requires round the clock care) and the father of this child is either not present from the beginning or leaves the mother because he just can't take the stress of having to deal with the emotional and financial drain of both the child and now the mother - should the mother be able to collect welfare and every other type of financial support that the government has to offer so that she can stay home and care for this child?
If either parent of any child can't - repeat can't - support his or her child, assistance is already in place. Can I infer from your statement that inferior babies must be aborted? Or that any inferior baby abandoned by the father should be post-natally aborted?
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

pina wrote: I think its down to each individual whether or not to abort, yes ask advice from friends and family but when it comes down to it, its the parents that have to raise that child to adulthood.....If it were me then after finding out all the details I could, and it was definate that the baby was going to be seriously handicapped or mentally retarded, the Yes I would abort, the simple reason is that, I know I couldn't look after and raise a child like that.... I so admire the people who do..... I do not take abortions lightly but in some circumstances I think its ok.
What if you husband disagrees?
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

Bez wrote: Geez....when's someone going to start some HAPPY stuff ????
That's in the pub! :D
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TenneseeGirl
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Post by TenneseeGirl »

while i appreciate all of your input i cant say i agree with all of it. I am pro choice/abortion. I think that there are far to many abused and neglected children in this world in the first place. I do not see how anyone could disagree and it is difficult for me to see the other side of this issue. The concept of life to me is when something//someone can survive outside the uterus. If you took a 6 week fetus out of the womb it would die. Period end of sentence. But eh, thats just me. I hate the blind people who see this issue as black and white. because it is not. If you are not able in anyway to care for a child physically emotionally or financially then in my oppinion you should not have that child. If you cannot see giving it up for adoption then you should abort. Why are you going to make an inncent child suffer because you are selfish. (yes i know that this can be turned around and argued for the other side. but as i have stated i do not believe life begins untill there is some self sustaining ability.):-5
~~~~~

Just some food for thought. Swallow it or not that's up to you.:lips:
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Accountable wrote: What if you husband disagrees?
My husband and I will:



A) already know each others views on abortion, and be compatible, and in agreement

B) agree on whether there will be children to begin with

C) have had the conversation about what would happen if we found out we were going to have a child with disablities.



In other words, it would not be something that had to be worked out after the pregnancy was in place. It would be something that was already decided, long before the possibility of children.
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Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


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Post by Accountable »

TenneseeGirl wrote: while i appreciate all of your input i cant say i agree with all of it. I am pro choice/abortion. I think that there are far to many abused and neglected children in this world in the first place.
Read this by itself. Doesn't it look barbaric?



TenneseeGirl wrote: I do not see how anyone could disagree and it is difficult for me to see the other side of this issue. [...] I hate the blind people who see this issue as black and white. because it is not.
Do you not understand you are being as blind as those you accuse of blindness?



TenneseeGirl wrote: If you are not able in anyway to care for a child physically emotionally or financially then in my oppinion you should not have that child. If you cannot see giving it up for adoption then you should abort. Why are you going to make an inncent child suffer because you are selfish. (yes i know that this can be turned around and argued for the other side. but as i have stated i do not believe life begins untill there is some self sustaining ability.):-5
I believe every choice has consequences, and every freedom has responsibility attached. The choice of having sex in the first place seems to get lost in this debate. The consequence of having sex is that the woman may get pregnant. The freedom to choose to have sex is attached to the responsibility to deal with the consequences of the child. The real selfishness comes when one chooses to have sex. The even more selfish choice is to destroy a life before it has a chance to grow up and make you proud that you've worked and sacrificed to raise a wonderful, mature, eloquent, free-thinking woman.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Acc, here's a scenario for you:

A young woman is living with a man. She is having sex with him, using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STD's. He is abusive, and a drunk. Somehow, despite all the girls efforts, she finds herself pregnant. It's not a good pregnancy, and she's bleeding quite a bit. She sees her Dr., who tells her, the pregnancy *might* be carried to term, no guarantees if the baby will be "normal" and no guarantees the girl will survive the pregnancy, let alone the delivery. She decides to abort the pregnancy.

How do you view this person?
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
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Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




robinseggs
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Post by robinseggs »

As some of you may know, I had a little baby premature....somewhere in that "gray" area....I was 20 weeks pregnant. Labor was 24 hrs. He came out squirming and grimacing. I held him for 2 hrs. He died in my arms that night. Just a little under a pound, almost a foot long, and yet so beautiful. One of God's miracles. My little Daniel. There isn't anything I wouldn't have given to be able to take my little boy home with me. But it wasn't to be. In the months that followed, many well-wishers said things like "Oh it was probably best--he may have been retarded", or "It was for the best--there was probably something wrong w/ him". These things broke my heart. I wanted to scream, "NO! I want my baby! I wanted him no matter what! I loved him unconditionally". And that is the bottom line here...its unconditional love. I love my little boy. He is in Heaven. Everybody needs to remember the love. I know Daniel would want it that way.

Now fast forward to 3 months after his birth. I sat in the waiting room of the hi-risk pregnancy specialist and as I sat I watched a little boy making his way around the room talking to all of us waiting. He had thick glasses.....hearing aids in both ears, trouble walking, talking.......he was what some would describe as a "mess". So many problems. I silently thought "Oh that poor mother...the heartbreak she must suffer"........and suddenly a feeling came over me as if I was sent a message. NO! This mother was proud! How lucky she was to be able to say "MY SON! He made it".......I looked up and sure enough a beaming mother sat watching her son. I wanted to run over to her--tell her how fortunate she was. Her son had lived. Mine had died. But I knew she already knew. I hid my tears that morning for I had experienced a revelation.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

BabyRider wrote: Acc, here's a scenario for you:

A young woman is living with a man. She is having sex with him, using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STD's. He is abusive, and a drunk. Somehow, despite all the girls efforts, she finds herself pregnant. It's not a good pregnancy, and she's bleeding quite a bit. She sees her Dr., who tells her, the pregnancy *might* be carried to term, no guarantees if the baby will be "normal" and no guarantees the girl will survive the pregnancy, let alone the delivery. She decides to abort the pregnancy.

How do you view this person?
It's not a matter of how I "view" the person. It's her decision - legally and morally. I think I've been clear about my position.



If she'd come to me asking my opinion in the first place, I'd recommend she stay clear of the guy.



If she'd come to me asking for money to buy condoms so she won't get pregnant, I'd suggest giving masturbation a shot - better odds.



If she'd come to me asking for a ride to the doctor because she's bleeding, of course I'd take her.



If she'd come to me asking my advice about the baby, I'd encourage her to get away from the abusive drunk and try find her a qualified counselor, meaning one without an agenda who can keep their own opinions out of it.



If she'd come to me having decided to carry the baby to term, I'd discuss the many options for giving the child a happy home - none of which involve a young woman in an abusive, violent, uncommitted relationship raising him or her.



If she'd come to me asking to be with her as she got an abortion, I'd refuse.



If she'd come to me after having had the abortion, I'd hold her while she grieved for the death of her baby, if she needed that. If she didn't need that, I'd be confused why she came to me at all.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

robinseggs wrote: As some of you may know, I had a little baby premature....somewhere in that "gray" area....I was 20 weeks pregnant. [...]

and suddenly a feeling came over me as if I was sent a message. NO! This mother was proud! How lucky she was to be able to say "MY SON! He made it".......I looked up and sure enough a beaming mother sat watching her son. I wanted to run over to her--tell her how fortunate she was. Her son had lived. Mine had died. But I knew she already knew. I hid my tears that morning for I had experienced a revelation.
Thanks for such an inspirational story, Robin.
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Bez
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Medical Reasons for Abortion

Post by Bez »

Accountable wrote: That's in the pub! :D


I'm not a pub person....more a coffee bar type......is there a NEROs near here ??
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Accountable
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Medical Reasons for Abortion

Post by Accountable »

Bez wrote: I'm not a pub person....more a coffee bar type......is there a NEROs near here ??
Nero, Caesar, they're all there!
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Bez
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Medical Reasons for Abortion

Post by Bez »

Accountable wrote: Nero, Caesar, they're all there!


......:yh_rotfl .............
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

Stop in. I'll fix you a coffee as fru-fru as you want it. :-6
robinseggs
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Post by robinseggs »

Accountable wrote: Thanks for such an inspirational story, Robin.


Thanks Accoutable... I really don't talk much of the experience at all w/ friends/family. So much easier here in the garden. I guess I just want people to know just how much one tiny little life made a difference. My little Daniel brought so much love to so many people and he changed my life forever. For the better! And yet it baffles me that there are people in the world that might abort a baby at this stage, as if it isn't a life.

I just hope that Tenn. girls friend really thinks this through and gets ALL the facts about the condition of her baby before she aborts. It sounded as if her mind was made up before she had all the info. I am pro-choice believe it or not, but only because there are unique situations. I am not sure she realizes what is growing inside her. First timers sometimes don't see it, don't understand the love.
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Accountable
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Medical Reasons for Abortion

Post by Accountable »

robinseggs wrote: I am pro-choice believe it or not, but only because there are unique situations.
I'm pro-choice only because I don't want some self-important politician making moral decisions for me.
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Post by observer1 »

TenneseeGirl wrote: while i appreciate all of your input i cant say i agree with all of it. I am pro choice/abortion. I think that there are far to many abused and neglected children in this world in the first place. I do not see how anyone could disagree and it is difficult for me to see the other side of this issue. The concept of life to me is when something//someone can survive outside the uterus. If you took a 6 week fetus out of the womb it would die. Period end of sentence. But eh, thats just me. I hate the blind people who see this issue as black and white. because it is not. If you are not able in anyway to care for a child physically emotionally or financially then in my oppinion you should not have that child. If you cannot see giving it up for adoption then you should abort. Why are you going to make an inncent child suffer because you are selfish. (yes i know that this can be turned around and argued for the other side. but as i have stated i do not believe life begins untill there is some self sustaining ability.):-5


I couldn't agree more.
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Medical Reasons for Abortion

Post by robinseggs »

Accountable wrote: I'm pro-choice only because I don't want some self-important politician making moral decisions for me.


Exactly!
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robinseggs
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Post by robinseggs »

Almost scared to ask this or open this can of worms, but what category would my little Daniel fall into? Self sustaining or non-self sustaining? 20 weeks gestation. He died. Others don't. Would you condone a mother choosing to abort at 20 weeks? 21? 22? At what point is it not ok? I know a mother whose little baby was born at 21 wks and came out crying like a kitten and died 4 days later. Where do these babies fall into?
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actionfigurestepho
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Post by actionfigurestepho »

If I were to get pregnant right now the baby would die, either before it was full term or shortly after birth. It would also endanger me---if I went through with the pregnancy I could die as well. If I got pregnant, you bet your sweet behind I would abort it before it died in utero and threatened my own life. (Although the chances of me getting pregnant are very very slim---dialysis all but ends a woman's fertility.) How do those who are anti-abortion for any reason feel about that? If the baby were going to die anyway, do you feel it is wrong to abort it before it kills the mother?
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Post by pantsonfire321@aol.com »

I had a friend who used termination as a contraceptive she had three terminations before she was 18 the third and last was a late abortion she was about 24 weeks i remember visiting her in hospital she had been through 3 days of labour then had to give birth to live baby -which would then die- it was horrific. My termination was at 16 weeks i new it had to be then or never my other half felt the same way we knew then we couldnt bring a child into a world of pain. Every story should be judged on its own merits - would you judge a woman who wanted a termination after a rape - see..every case is different its not black and white .
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Accountable wrote: It's not a matter of how I "view" the person. It's her decision - legally and morally. I think I've been clear about my position.



If she'd come to me asking my opinion in the first place, I'd recommend she stay clear of the guy.



If she'd come to me asking for money to buy condoms so she won't get pregnant, I'd suggest giving masturbation a shot - better odds.



If she'd come to me asking for a ride to the doctor because she's bleeding, of course I'd take her.



If she'd come to me asking my advice about the baby, I'd encourage her to get away from the abusive drunk and try find her a qualified counselor, meaning one without an agenda who can keep their own opinions out of it.



If she'd come to me having decided to carry the baby to term, I'd discuss the many options for giving the child a happy home - none of which involve a young woman in an abusive, violent, uncommitted relationship raising him or her.



If she'd come to me asking to be with her as she got an abortion, I'd refuse.



If she'd come to me after having had the abortion, I'd hold her while she grieved for the death of her baby, if she needed that. If she didn't need that, I'd be confused why she came to me at all.


OK, so all the rest of the fluff aside, you think this girl should have risked her own life for the chance that the baby would have survived?
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

BabyRider wrote: OK, so all the rest of the fluff aside, you think this girl should have risked her own life for the chance that the baby would have survived?
I see the mother's role and responsibility is to risk her life to save that of her child, yes. She took on that responsibility when she had consensual sex.
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Post by orangesox1 »

Accountable wrote: I see the mother's role and responsibility is to risk her life to save that of her child, yes. She took on that responsibility when she had consensual sex.


Thats very black and white Acc, there is a chance that I maybe faced with the posibility of expecting a child, bit early to tell yet but it is to a man that I have loved for a long time.



If so I will most likley end up being on insulin for the rest of my life, and I will have my fourth C section at 45 yrs of age. I don't have a problem with any of this, However if the Dr told me that there was a more that usually risk of me loosing my life to have the baby, I would have to have it aborted as I have three other children that deserve to have a mother and need me.



I would be very sad to have to do that and I know it was my responsibility to make sure it didn't happen, but I also hadn't realized at the time that I was capable of having another child, I just found out from a Dr report that I am not menopausal as first thought.



It isn't a black and white issue when it comes down to medical reasons, there are a lot of things that need to be considered
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Post by Accountable »

orangesox1 wrote: Thats very black and white Acc, there is a chance that I maybe faced with the posibility of expecting a child, bit early to tell yet but it is to a man that I have loved for a long time.



If so I will most likley end up being on insulin for the rest of my life, and I will have my fourth C section at 45 yrs of age. I don't have a problem with any of this, However if the Dr told me that there was a more that usually risk of me loosing my life to have the baby, I would have to have it aborted as I have three other children that deserve to have a mother and need me.



I would be very sad to have to do that and I know it was my responsibility to make sure it didn't happen, but I also hadn't realized at the time that I was capable of having another child, I just found out from a Dr report that I am not menopausal as first thought.



It isn't a black and white issue when it comes down to medical reasons, there are a lot of things that need to be considered
This a different scenario entirely, and my opinion stands. I assume the three C-sections yielded children and some are still at home. You have a responsibility to your children. No one should ever be placed in the position of choosing one child over another, but it happens. Risk your life to save one, possibly dying in the process and leave all without a mother? I won't give advice on this one, even in a hypothetical.
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Post by orangesox1 »

Even though a new baby isn't something I was planning or even considering as I was never maternal, I would still be overjoyed if it happened.



And now you all know what I'v been up to in my spare time away from FG:-6
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Post by BabyRider »

Accountable wrote: I see the mother's role and responsibility is to risk her life to save that of her child, yes. She took on that responsibility when she had consensual sex.
And tried to prevent a pregnancy by using birth control.



The possibility of a viable pregnancy was slim, and yet you maintain that it's the woman's responsibility to risk her own life to sustain a pregnancy that wasn't wanted in the first place and has little hope of making it to term, let alone be healthy?
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
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[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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