How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Mrsk, what are your views on parental consent to abort or give birth?
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

mrsK wrote: Being a parent & if it happened to my daughter I would tell her to have the baby,then we could go from there.

I think an abortion would come back to haunt you for the rest of your life.Has to affect you some how.

Just my mere mortal opinion :-6
:yh_clap

That's the best way to go, imo.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

This is a tough one and has been causing some controversy here in England recently.

There was a well publicised case recently of a 13yr old girl who got pregnant and managed to have a abortion without her mothers consent. This came to a head when the child told the mother what had happened and as all good mothers do (note the sarcasm) she went to the press and had both of their pictures splashed accross the front pages of our tabloids. The mother was absolutely vexed. She said as her mother she should have made the decision, the child is a minor, she as the mother would have raised the child etc etc. She really was extremely angry.

It was then revealed (not so publicly I hasten to add) that the mother had very recently lost her own baby in utero at 2 week from the due date-still born. Then weeks after that her child broke the news. What kind of impartial advice would that mother have given to her daughter at that traumatic time? Hmmm.

A while ago there was a small article I read about this case again and it seems that the (still underage) girl has actually given birth to a baby, with a different father because she "felt guilty" about aborting the first one. her mother has declared that she "is delighted with her grandchild". I don't think that there is anything delightful about this sorry affair.

I do come from a knowledgeable standpoint because I have had a termination in my teenage years (not as young as the girl I have just spoken about though) and my Mum did say that she would help look after the baby if I chose to keep it although she gave me many reasons why it might not be a good idea. I would never have kept it even without any parental influence. If I had had a mother who had made the decision to keep the baby for me I have absolutely no qualms in admitting that I would feel much resentment towards my mother and I suppose ultimately towards the child. I cannot even contemplate my life if I had gone ahead with having the baby. It was a youthful mistake to have conceived the child and with hindsight, if I had a daughter I would have no problems with advising exactly the same again. I do believe that when you have had children yourself (I have two boys) your attitude towards termination changes, I couldn't go through with one now, so i wonder if that alone might cloud a parents judgement.

My worries are with families where there is say, a tyrannical parent who is abusive and beats the child for getting pregnant or throws them out of the house to walk the streets. What if they don't have an open relationship with their parent and leave it too late and then try and botch a home made abortion themselves?

I do have more to say but I am conscious of rambling on a bit here.

Katy
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: This is a tough one and has been causing some controversy here in England recently.



There was a well publicised case recently of a 13yr old girl who got pregnant and managed to have a abortion without her mothers consent. This came to a head when the child told the mother what had happened and as all good mothers do (note the sarcasm) she went to the press and had both of their pictures splashed accross the front pages of our tabloids. The mother was absolutely vexed. She said as her mother she should have made the decision, the child is a minor, she as the mother would have raised the child etc etc. She really was extremely angry.



It was then revealed (not so publicly I hasten to add) that the mother had very recently lost her own baby in utero at 2 week from the due date-still born. Then weeks after that her child broke the news. What kind of impartial advice would that mother have given to her daughter at that traumatic time? Hmmm.
Irrelevant. It was her decision to make. Lots of parents make decisions under less than ideal circumstances. Doesn't negate the right or the responsibility.



Katy1 wrote: A while ago there was a small article I read about this case again and it seems that the (still underage) girl has actually given birth to a baby, with a different father because she "felt guilty" about aborting the first one. her mother has declared that she "is delighted with her grandchild". I don't think that there is anything delightful about this sorry affair.
Agreed. I hope you're not implying that a second abortion would have made it less sorry.



Katy1 wrote: I do come from a knowledgeable standpoint because I have had a termination in my teenage years (not as young as the girl I have just spoken about though) and my Mum did say that she would help look after the baby if I chose to keep it although she gave me many reasons why it might not be a good idea. I would never have kept it even without any parental influence. If I had had a mother who had made the decision to keep the baby for me I have absolutely no qualms in admitting that I would feel much resentment towards my mother and I suppose ultimately towards the child. I cannot even contemplate my life if I had gone ahead with having the baby. It was a youthful mistake to have conceived the child and with hindsight, if I had a daughter I would have no problems with advising exactly the same again. I do believe that when you have had children yourself (I have two boys) your attitude towards termination changes, I couldn't go through with one now, so i wonder if that alone might cloud a parents judgement.
I think it is sad and telling of the depths society has sunk to that adoption has not even occurred to you. That's not a judgment on you personally; I don't know you. But to think there are only two choices .......



Katy1 wrote: My worries are with families where there is say, a tyrannical parent who is abusive and beats the child for getting pregnant or throws them out of the house to walk the streets. What if they don't have an open relationship with their parent and leave it too late and then try and botch a home made abortion themselves?



I do have more to say but I am conscious of rambling on a bit here.



Katy
We can't cure all of life's ills. Those kids are with those abusive parents even without getting pregnant. Hopefully she will be fearful enough of the beating to avoid getting pregnant.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

Accountable wrote: Irrelevant. It was her decision to make. Lots of parents make decisions under less than ideal circumstances. Doesn't negate the right or the responsibility.



Hi Accountable. I don't want to get into a edgy debate about this one really because it's an emotive subject and i don't intend on swaying your beliefs, just putting my views accross to whoever wanted to read really.

Agreed. I hope you're not implying that a second abortion would have made it less sorry.



I wasn't implying a second would be the best option. My point was that I believe that thegirl got pregnant again, with ther mothers blessing tbecause she thought that she had failed to mother by having the termination and denying the mother of the baby she so sorely wanted.

I think it is sad and telling of the depths society has sunk to that adoption has not even occurred to you. That's not a judgment on you personally; I don't know you. But to think there are only two choices .......

I think that o know that your child that you have given up is alive and you are missing every milestone etc would be more upsetting. iThere is also the reality that the child may come and find you which you may not want and open the wounds a second time. The child may have phycological scarring from being adopted out. These are of course, my opinions from my viewpoint. Personally I think that the disposal of a few cells and some councelling is preferable to a lifetime of possible regret and upset.



We can't cure all of life's ills. Those kids are with those abusive parents even without getting pregnant. Hopefully she will be fearful enough of the beating to avoid getting pregnant.


You seem intelligent enough to understand that abused children often go wayward themselves. I don't think that that is a particularly constructive comment.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

Accountable wrote: Irrelevant. It was her decision to make. Lots of parents make decisions under less than ideal circumstances. Doesn't negate the right or the responsibility.



Hi Accountable. I don't want to get into a edgy debate about this one really because it's an emotive subject and i don't intend on swaying your beliefs, just putting my views accross to whoever wanted to read really.

Agreed. I hope you're not implying that a second abortion would have made it less sorry.



I wasn't implying a second would be the best option. My point was that I believe that thegirl got pregnant again, with ther mothers blessing tbecause she thought that she had failed to mother by having the termination and denying the mother of the baby she so sorely wanted.

I think it is sad and telling of the depths society has sunk to that adoption has not even occurred to you. That's not a judgment on you personally; I don't know you. But to think there are only two choices .......

I think that o know that your child that you have given up is alive and you are missing every milestone etc would be more upsetting. iThere is also the reality that the child may come and find you which you may not want and open the wounds a second time. The child may have phycological scarring from being adopted out. These are of course, my opinions from my viewpoint. Personally I think that the disposal of a few cells and some councelling is preferable to a lifetime of possible regret and upset.



We can't cure all of life's ills. Those kids are with those abusive parents even without getting pregnant. Hopefully she will be fearful enough of the beating to avoid getting pregnant.


You seem intelligent enough to understand that abused children often go wayward themselves. I don't think that that is a particularly constructive comment.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: You seem intelligent enough to understand that abused children often go wayward themselves. I don't think that that is a particularly constructive comment.
I assume you're referring to the last comment I made. Kids don't normally get the privilege of choosing their situations. They learn to cope to survive. I am hopeful that a child in an abusive household copes well, behaving in such a manor that results in the least wrath.



I wrote quite a few comments, though.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

yeah, I screwed up the replies. Look at the original post I quoted from on my post IYKWIM! You cn see my comments between your responses. need to get used to this forum.:)
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: yeah, I screwed up the replies. Look at the original post I quoted from on my post IYKWIM! You cn see my comments between your responses. need to get used to this forum.:)
:wah: Ooops. I missed that. ... Um, if you're serious about not getting into an edgy debate, you might not want to read further, because at least one of those comments really got under my skin. :yh_flower
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

You see, I can't really see this from a completely objective viewpoint. I have been through a termination and I myself know that I'm 1001% glad that I was allowed to make the decision to not go further with the pregnancy. I am so happy now, I have two beautiful children and a brilliant husband. I know that this unltimately would have been denied me if I had had to keep the child and once it's born I don't think that I would have been able to adopt it out.

My Mum was going to adopt me out until the last minute because of difficulties in her life but couldn't sign the papers at the last minute. I just fear that children have parenthood thrust apon them through a combination of the parents dislike of abortion and the inabilitiy to let a child go once it has been born. All completely emotion led decisions that could be the wrong ones in the long run...

Must dash....kids need a run .lol.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: [...]

A while ago there was a small article I read about this case again and it seems that the (still underage) girl has actually given birth to a baby, with a different father because she "felt guilty" about aborting the first one. her mother has declared that she "is delighted with her grandchild". I don't think that there is anything delightful about this sorry affair.


Acc: Agreed. I hope you're not implying that a second abortion would have made it less sorry.

Katy: I wasn't implying a second would be the best option. My point was that I believe that thegirl got pregnant again, with ther mothers blessing because she thought that she had failed to mother by having the termination and denying the mother of the baby she so sorely wanted.


I'm not about to stipulate that a young teen planned & executed getting pregnant to please mommy, though it's clear that that's why she carried it to term. Does nothing to shake my opinion that parents are responsible for making important decisions for their children.



Katy1 wrote: I do come from a knowledgeable standpoint because I have had a termination in my teenage years (not as young as the girl I have just spoken about though) and my Mum did say that she would help look after the baby if I chose to keep it although she gave me many reasons why it might not be a good idea. I would never have kept it even without any parental influence. If I had had a mother who had made the decision to keep the baby for me I have absolutely no qualms in admitting that I would feel much resentment towards my mother and I suppose ultimately towards the child. I cannot even contemplate my life if I had gone ahead with having the baby. It was a youthful mistake to have conceived the child and with hindsight, if I had a daughter I would have no problems with advising exactly the same again. I do believe that when you have had children yourself (I have two boys) your attitude towards termination changes, I couldn't go through with one now, so i wonder if that alone might cloud a parents judgement.
Acc: I think it is sad and telling of the depths society has sunk to that adoption has not even occurred to you. That's not a judgment on you personally; I don't know you. But to think there are only two choices .......

Katy: I think that o know that your child that you have given up is alive and you are missing every milestone etc would be more upsetting. iThere is also the reality that the child may come and find you which you may not want and open the wounds a second time. The child may have phycological scarring from being adopted out. These are of course, my opinions from my viewpoint. Personally I think that the disposal of a few cells and some councelling is preferable to a lifetime of possible regret and upset.
I cannot describe the disgust I find in your assertion that murdering your child is preferable to giving it a chance at productive life with someone else.

The child may have psychological scarring?!?!?!?!? How about the child may grow up to change the world??

Opening wounds a second time? God forbid that you should be inconvenienced by the consequences of your actions! :mad:

Your opinion that avoiding your own possible regret being preferable to definitely preventing someone a chance at life and happiness is despicable!

This is what I rale against! The insistance of people to be able to make choices while refusing to deal with the consequences of those decisions!

How can you be so glib? especially being a mother yourself.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Neverthless, if you have a daughter, and should she get pregnant, I support, even insist, that you have final say in the disposition of the child.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

Accountable wrote: I'm not about to stipulate that a young teen planned & executed getting pregnant to please mommy, though it's clear that that's why she carried it to term. Does nothing to shake my opinion that parents are responsible for making important decisions for their children.





I cannot describe the disgust I find in your assertion that murdering your child is preferable to giving it a chance at productive life with someone else.

The child may have psychological scarring?!?!?!?!? How about the child may grow up to change the world??

Opening wounds a second time? God forbid that you should be inconvenienced by the consequences of your actions! :mad:

Your opinion that avoiding your own possible regret being preferable to definitely preventing someone a chance at life and happiness is despicable!

This is what I rale against! The insistance of people to be able to make choices while refusing to deal with the consequences of those decisions!

How can you be so glib? especially being a mother yourself.


I'm hope that we can agree to disagree. I am pro choice although i believe that the legal limit needs to belowered. I will defend to the end a woman or even a girl's right to have a termination.

If we didn't disagree or have people like you to challenge these types of things we would not be a democrasy and although i take a completely opposite standpoint I admire you for having well thought out and strong convinctions.

katy
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: I'm hope that we can agree to disagree. I am pro choice although i believe that the legal limit needs to belowered. I will defend to the end a woman or even a girl's right to have a termination.



If we didn't disagree or have people like you to challenge these types of things we would not be a democrasy and although i take a completely opposite standpoint I admire you for having well thought out and strong convinctions.



katy
I too am pro-choice. I am also pro-responsibility. I don't think gov't law should get into it (Doctors should make medical decisions) unless the scientists can convince the politicians that life begins when the cell splits, thus making the baby a citizen and protected by law. But so long as people who refuse to take responsibility for their choices vote and are vocal, politicians will maintain status quo.



Know that on this point, your admiration is a one-way street.



Now back to the issue about who should make decisions for pregnant children...................
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

I think the question should be, Accountable, "now I believe that a parent should decide what's best for their child with no exception whotsoever. If you don't agree, state your case and if I can't change your mind I'll assault your character and throw insults."

And I don't see why the reference to me being a mother is of any relevance. The comment is actually pretty patronising.

So far on this forum, as soon as the debate gets controvesial memebers get abusive! Why can't it be kept a heated debate rather than it becoming a war?
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Katy1 wrote: I think the question should be, Accountable, "now I believe that a parent should decide what's best for their child with no exception whotsoever. If you don't agree, state your case and if I can't change your mind I'll assault your character and throw insults."



And I don't see why the reference to me being a mother is of any relevance. The comment is actually pretty patronising.



So far on this forum, as soon as the debate gets controvesial memebers get abusive! Why can't it be kept a heated debate rather than it becoming a war?
I absolutely agree that a parent should decide what's best for their child. The only exeptions I would accept would be those measures already in place to remove a child from the home (abuse, etc.).



As apalled as I am at your opinion of babies and adoption, I still enthusiastically and energetically defend your right to make decisions for your children, even basing them on your opinions.



Your not seeing your status as mother as irrelevant in this discussion surprises me. I see it as relevant because you have produced, carried, and nurtured life - LIFE! - and should hold it in reverance, but you don't. Somehow you have placed different values on your three children. That baffles me.



You have made the choice to reveal your values and opinions. Deal with the consequences. If you wish to call my reaction abusive, tough. That's life. You have the right to feel, think, and opine any way you wish. You do not have the right to have everyone accept it, value it, or fail to challenge it.
User avatar
Katy1
Posts: 345
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:46 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Katy1 »

Accountable wrote: I absolutely agree that a parent should decide what's best for their child. The only exeptions I would accept would be those measures already in place to remove a child from the home (abuse, etc.).



As apalled as I am at your opinion of babies and adoption, I still enthusiastically and energetically defend your right to make decisions for your children, even basing them on your opinions.



Your not seeing your status as mother as irrelevant in this discussion surprises me. I see it as relevant because you have produced, carried, and nurtured life - LIFE! - and should hold it in reverance, but you don't. Somehow you have placed different values on your three children. That baffles me.



You have made the choice to reveal your values and opinions. Deal with the consequences. If you wish to call my reaction abusive, tough. That's life. You have the right to feel, think, and opine any way you wish. You do not have the right to have everyone accept it, value it, or fail to challenge it.


Firstly, being a mother does not define a person, I had the views prior to having children and they have stayed with me. In your humble opinion then, do you think that ALL mothers should think like you because they have born children?

TBH I didn't have proper time to develop my part of the discussion about adoption and I can see how it would look a bit wrong. I do believe that there is a good place for adoption in this society. It took some time to conceive Jack, my first and my husband and I did discuss the option of possible adoption but eventually we were lucky and managed to conceive naturally. I have also come across heartwarming stories about adopted children who grow up and have had fantastic upbringings and never even have the urge to make contact with their parents.

You see I don't believe that a group of cells equals a baby. I don't think that it is selfish to deny a group of cells the right to life any more than I can be selfish say, to a plant. Neither have conscious thought and furthermore no conception of selfishness. If you don't believe that a group of undefined cells is a baby then the idea of early abortion seems a positive choice, say over being brought up by parents who neither want nor care for you.

Again, why do you feel the need to TELL me what I feel and think? I am aware of the decisions I have made in coming to my opinions. I wouldn't dream of preaching to you in such a condescending way. But maybe in that way at least, I am the better person.
observer1
Posts: 4816
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:27 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by observer1 »

I didn't read every post here, so forgive me if I'm a bit off-base. I am pro-choice. I also believe that an expectant mother should weigh all options before making her choice. I did this years ago. Should I have it? Should I abort it? How about adoption? I seriously considered abortion. Then my then-boyfriend (soon after, my husband) told me "Don't ever plan on seeing me again if you plan on getting rid of my kid". So, I made the decision to keep the baby. After feeling her move inside of me, & creating a very strong bond (because her father was never around, so she was all I had, born or not), there was NO WAY I could've given her up for adoption. I'm sure I made the right choice for me. But I can't speak for others in that situation. Plus, I had a lot of help from my family.

As far as a child being pregnant, to me, it depends on the age. Yes, I completely agree that a 10-year-old is WAY too young to be making these decisions. My daughter was 17 when she told me she was pregnant with her first child. I was HORRIFIED!! In my opinion, yes, she was old enough to make a decision, but was not old enough or mature enough to care for another person. Heck, she couldn't even care for herself! But this wasn't my decision. She had the baby, whom I adore! But she never did graduate from high school, because it seems if you're pregnant, you don't have many options, unless YOUR parents are willing and able to care for that baby. We tried home-bound instruction, but the school dragged their feet, which is very common. IMO, fathers are not shunned members of society, mothers are. But that's a whole different subject.

I want to say I believe the ultimate choice should be up to the parents of the pregnant child probably up to the age of 18. At that point, they're deemed "adults" & hopefully can make some kind of living on their own. Before that, they usually live under the parents' roof & most of their things are acquired through their parents.
Jives
Posts: 3741
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:00 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Jives »

I have two pregnant 14 year olds at my school. And one 13 year old that just had her baby.

One half of all pregnancies in New Mexico will be to teens. And one half of those baies will be born into poverty.
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
Slade1
Posts: 152
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:21 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Slade1 »

'Your not seeing your status as mother as irrelevant in this discussion surprises me. I see it as relevant because you have produced, carried, and nurtured life - LIFE! - and should hold it in reverance, but you don't. Somehow you have placed different values on your three children. That baffles me.'

Hmm...Accountable, I thought you said you were pro-choice?

I am not a woman, so I can't possibly comprehend what it would be like to make a decision like this, let's face it, in most of these cases it would be down to the girl/woman & her family to provide primary care for the child.

Becoming pregnant when you are too young to deal with it is rresponsible, but should you have to pay the price for that irresponsibility for the rest of your life? This is a very harsh view, adoption is an option (that rhymes!) but it is an awful lot to go through, and I agree with Katy that it is just a bunch of cells up to a point, I do think that the the point at which the procedure can be carried out should be reduced though.

No decision like this should be taken lightly, it is a problem that should be thoroughly considered before that decision is taken, I don't think though, that the girl or woman should be slated for it afterwards
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

observer1 wrote: I didn't read every post here, so forgive me if I'm a bit off-base. I am pro-choice. I also believe that an expectant mother should weigh all options before making her choice. I did this years ago. Should I have it? Should I abort it? How about adoption? I seriously considered abortion. Then my then-boyfriend (soon after, my husband) told me "Don't ever plan on seeing me again if you plan on getting rid of my kid". So, I made the decision to keep the baby. After feeling her move inside of me, & creating a very strong bond (because her father was never around, so she was all I had, born or not), there was NO WAY I could've given her up for adoption. I'm sure I made the right choice for me. But I can't speak for others in that situation. Plus, I had a lot of help from my family.



As far as a child being pregnant, to me, it depends on the age. Yes, I completely agree that a 10-year-old is WAY too young to be making these decisions. My daughter was 17 when she told me she was pregnant with her first child. I was HORRIFIED!! In my opinion, yes, she was old enough to make a decision, but was not old enough or mature enough to care for another person. Heck, she couldn't even care for herself! But this wasn't my decision. She had the baby, whom I adore! But she never did graduate from high school, because it seems if you're pregnant, you don't have many options, unless YOUR parents are willing and able to care for that baby. We tried home-bound instruction, but the school dragged their feet, which is very common. IMO, fathers are not shunned members of society, mothers are. But that's a whole different subject.



I want to say I believe the ultimate choice should be up to the parents of the pregnant child probably up to the age of 18. At that point, they're deemed "adults" & hopefully can make some kind of living on their own. Before that, they usually live under the parents' roof & most of their things are acquired through their parents.
I cannot find one syllable in this post I disagree with. It is an elloquent example of a young lady facing a tough decision, and taking responsibility for her actions. I applaud you.



I also agree with your last paragraph.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Jives wrote: I have two pregnant 14 year olds at my school. And one 13 year old that just had her baby.



One half of all pregnancies in New Mexico will be to teens. And one half of those baies will be born into poverty.
And do you feel the children should be allowed to decide their own fate, or should the parents be responsible for the decision?
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Slade1 wrote: 'Your not seeing your status as mother as irrelevant in this discussion surprises me. I see it as relevant because you have produced, carried, and nurtured life - LIFE! - and should hold it in reverance, but you don't. Somehow you have placed different values on your three children. That baffles me.'



Hmm...Accountable, I thought you said you were pro-choice?



I am not a woman, so I can't possibly comprehend what it would be like to make a decision like this, let's face it, in most of these cases it would be down to the girl/woman & her family to provide primary care for the child.



Becoming pregnant when you are too young to deal with it is rresponsible, but should you have to pay the price for that irresponsibility for the rest of your life? This is a very harsh view, adoption is an option (that rhymes!) but it is an awful lot to go through, and I agree with Katy that it is just a bunch of cells up to a point, I do think that the the point at which the procedure can be carried out should be reduced though.



No decision like this should be taken lightly, it is a problem that should be thoroughly considered before that decision is taken, I don't think though, that the girl or woman should be slated for it afterwards
Read my post. I am pro-choice. I am also pro-responsibility. I agree with everything you've said here, with the noted exception about the human being being a "just a bunch of cells up to a point" because somebody then has to play God and decide where that point is. It is also off-topic, though I'm happy to discuss it.



The question on the table: When a minor becomes pregnant, should the parents be responsible for making the decision - abort, adopt, or keep the child - or should the minor be allowed to make the decision?
Slade1
Posts: 152
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:21 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Slade1 »

Accountable wrote: Read my post. I am pro-choice. I am also pro-responsibility. I agree with everything you've said here, with the noted exception about the human being being a "just a bunch of cells up to a point" because somebody then has to play God and decide where that point is. It is also off-topic, though I'm happy to discuss it.



The question on the table: When a minor becomes pregnant, should the parents be responsible for making the decision - abort, adopt, or keep the child - or should the minor be allowed to make the decision?


It's an interesting one really. I don't think that you can make your child have an abortion/keep a child that they really do not want. I have two sons and the intention (at the moment) is not to have any more, so thankfully I will never have to face this situation. It's difficult, say that you do assert your authority as their parent, if you tell them to keep the child then you have to be prepared to share in the upbringing of that child. If you tell them to have an abortion they may resent that for the rest of their life.

I think the first step is to make sure that they know the full facts about having a babies, firstly childbirth is no picnic (it's even worse for the woman). Secondly it is bloody hard work and is the ultimate responsibilty, no more going out when you want, broken sleep, feeding, crying vomiting....this is not an exhaustive list

Personally I wouldn't want my child to shoulder this responsibility at such a tender age, however, I think it would be difficult to drag them kicking & screaming to the clinic. There is a selfish element to this as well, why would I want to go through all that baby stuff again? I've done it all already now I have to go through it again because of the carelessness of my child? They aren't old enough to live in their own place so it's my problem as well...

This is probably fairly rambling, but I've had a few drinks this evening (it is friday after all). Apologies if it makes no sense.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Slade1 wrote: It's an interesting one really. I don't think that you can make your child have an abortion/keep a child that they really do not want. I have two sons and the intention (at the moment) is not to have any more, so thankfully I will never have to face this situation. It's difficult, say that you do assert your authority as their parent, if you tell them to keep the child then you have to be prepared to share in the upbringing of that child. If you tell them to have an abortion they may resent that for the rest of their life.



I think the first step is to make sure that they know the full facts about having a babies, firstly childbirth is no picnic (it's even worse for the woman). Secondly it is bloody hard work and is the ultimate responsibilty, no more going out when you want, broken sleep, feeding, crying vomiting....this is not an exhaustive list



Personally I wouldn't want my child to shoulder this responsibility at such a tender age, however, I think it would be difficult to drag them kicking & screaming to the clinic. There is a selfish element to this as well, why would I want to go through all that baby stuff again? I've done it all already now I have to go through it again because of the carelessness of my child? They aren't old enough to live in their own place so it's my problem as well...



This is probably fairly rambling, but I've had a few drinks this evening (it is friday after all). Apologies if it makes no sense.
Slade, is there anything you wish to clarify before I respond?
Slade1
Posts: 152
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:21 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Slade1 »

Accountable wrote: Slade, is there anything you wish to clarify before I respond?


I've just read it again, and despite having a few drinks, it make perfect sense.

I'm quite proud of myself actually...
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Slade1 wrote: [...]

I think the first step is to make sure that they know the full facts about having a babies, firstly childbirth is no picnic (it's even worse for the woman). Secondly it is bloody hard work and is the ultimate responsibilty, no more going out when you want, broken sleep, feeding, crying vomiting....this is not an exhaustive list

[...]
Agreed. And hopefully this first step is prior to risking pregnancy. Information can be a powerful prophylactic. ;)



What about adoption? Shouldn't that be a top option, if not the top option? Thousands of couples who are unable to conceive are aching to adopt a newborn and give him/her a loving home.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Accountable »

Sorry, I keep getting distracted from the point of the thread.

Slade1 wrote: It's an interesting one really. I don't think that you can make your child have an abortion/keep a child that they really do not want.

[...]

Personally I wouldn't want my child to shoulder this responsibility at such a tender age, however, I think it would be difficult to drag them kicking & screaming to the clinic. [...]
As distateful and difficult as it may be, don't you agree it is your responsibility and your decision to make?
Punk_Grunge
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:43 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Punk_Grunge »

Condoms save life's and trouble. Not like they didn't know that already. I can't talk because I don't know how hard it is to be a teenage mother, but come on, use your brain? I know it's not as simple as that... Just wear a condom!
Punk_Grunge
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:43 pm

How is a Pregnant Teen Suddenly a Woman?

Post by Punk_Grunge »

Soberano;648612 wrote: Hope you aren't going to be a sensible and rational young women all of the time.


LOL

I'm not all sensible. ;)

Return to “Abortion”