A 13-year-old girl refuses to obey her parents and becomes a national hero.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:57 am

Girl's Refusal to Be Child Bride Inspires Nation

Even President of India Wanted to Meet Rekha Kalindi

She's been called a leader and an icon, and her actions are considered revolutionary â€“ all because 13-year-old Rekha Kalindi refused to be married off and wanted to attend school instead.

That act of defiance has rippled through Rekha's village and throughout India. Because of her stubborn refusal to give in to her parents' demands, other girls in the village have also balked at early marriages.

Rekha's story gained national attention with India's newspapers hailing her for accomplishing change that the India government was incapable of making. She has become so popular that the president of India requested to meet her this past spring.

Rarely has parental disobedience been so richly praised.

Raised in one of India's poorest village, Rekha has worked for most of her short life. Like her father, she helped to support her family by rolling a type of cigarette called beedi. Then two years ago, a government non-profit program plucked her from a life of child labor to enroll her in special school.

Along with learning the standard classes, Rekha and dozens of other former child laborers were also taught leadership skills. The school, part of a UNICEF program, was free of charge so that families would not remove children from the program due to cost.

It was from these leadership classes that Rekha gained the strength to defy her family, her village and change her future. And with this decision, she inspired a chain reaction among her friends and throughout her village.

Rekha is a slight girl - maybe 4 feet tall â€“ with long dark hair loosely pulled back in a ponytail. A huge smile appears when talks about school. She fell in love with learning and excelled in her classes which is why she was devastated when her parents told her last year at the age of 12 that it was time for her to get married.

India's Child Marriage Prohibition Act makes it illegal for girls below the age of 18 and boys below 21 to marry, but the law is rarely enforced. Child marriage is a tradition in many parts of India, partly because poor families no longer must provide for their married daughters.

Rekha's village, Jhalda II, is a seven-hour drive from Kolkata and has one of India's highest female illiteracy rates. As is the fate of many girls here, Rekha's parents pulled her from school after they began arrangements for the wedding. No point in learning since she would soon be a bride. "I felt very sad because my best friends were going to school," said Rekha, speaking in Bengali through an interpreter. "I was feeling very sad because I was captive in my home."

So Rekha did the unthinkable. She said "no."

Her parents, shocked by her behavior, withheld her food for nearly two weeks.

Her mother, Manaka Kalindi, said she was angry that her daughter had defied her.

"Parents have rights to (control) their children," she said.

Read the full story here:

Rekha Kalindi, Child Bride Who Defied Parents Inspires India - ABC News

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:24 am

She probably saved herself from a miserable arranged marraige. Good for her. Let's hope she becomes an Inspiration to all young brides.

sharedfastlane · Post by **sharedfastlane** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:59 am

She must have SOME spirit mustn't she? Mind you, I was a lot more outwardly rebellious, stubborn and outspoken when I was young. I learned to " behave" better, but some of the cheekiness of teen years seems like valuable armour against the stupidity of our world and what we arrive into. Hmm how refreshing to hear of someone who is excited by knowledge and School!

Magical how she is receiving postive attention.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:29 am

sharedfastlane;1251446 wrote: Hmm how refreshing to hear of someone who is excited by knowledge and School!

My thoughts precisely. :-6

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:41 am

It is also not uncommon in that culture that when a family is disgraced by their daughter they will kill her.

I for one would worry about this girlâ€™s life.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:49 am

mikeinie;1251453 wrote: It is also not uncommon in that culture that when a family is disgraced by their daughter they will kill her.

I for one would worry about this girlâ€™s life.

I agree Mike. The poor girl may suffer at the hands of her family or community.

I truly hope she has a successful and productive life.:-6

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:38 am

mikeinie;1251453 wrote: It is also not uncommon in that culture that when a family is disgraced by their daughter they will kill her.

I for one would worry about this girlâ€™s life.

This is true. But maybe, because people are praising her and her ideals, and because the president of India wants to meet her, maybe their attitude will be different.

Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white person. Other people did it and got into trouble for it, but she was known as the one who made a stand.

Maybe this girl will be the one to make a stand for all the other girls in her situation too.

sharedfastlane · Post by **sharedfastlane** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:47 am

It has been said in the Indian Press that she has achieved changes

" that the Indian Goverment were incapable of making"

Her Father is now said to be proud of her and her Mother is now of the opinion her other children will not go into early marriage.

I have just emailed the Journalist of the original article to ask if she knows of plans to ensure the girl's safety.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:58 pm

There is a FaceBook support group, but it has only 9 members. They quoted another article

Rekha learned about the dangers of child marriage firsthand when her older sister got married at age 11. She is now illiterate, and lost all four of her children within one year of birth.

"I had a talk with my sister," Rekha says. "She said, 'You have seen me, I've lost my children.... It's good you stood against child marriage.'

India listens after a child bride says 'I won't.' | csmonitor.com

-----------------------------

This girl probably has more of a chance of survival than defiant girls of her age in some other countries. The Government must at least officially be on her side.

The Constitution of India guarantees to all Indian women equality (Article 14), no discrimination by the State (Article 15(1)), equality of opportunity (Article 16), equal pay for equal work (Article 39(d)). In addition, it allows special provisions to be made by the State in favour of women and children (Article 15(3)), renounces practices derogatory to the dignity of women (Article 51(A) (e)), and also allows for provisions to be made by the State for securing just and humane conditions of work and for maternity relief. (Article 42).[18]

Women in India - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:14 am

But you must remember we are judging through western eyes. That match may have made the difference between living in a decent manner or abject poverty for that family. It wasnt so long ago that we ourselves hoped for a decent match to marry out of peasantry. We indentured ourselves to leave the country, and we had no say in our lives as women.

sharedfastlane · Post by **sharedfastlane** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 12:16 pm

Raven;1251834 wrote: But you must remember we are judging through western eyes. That match may have made the difference between living in a decent manner or abject poverty for that family. It wasnt so long ago that we ourselves hoped for a decent match to marry out of peasantry. We indentured ourselves to leave the country, and we had no say in our lives as women.

Yes, but hopefully the path she has now chosen, stood up for, will lead to a better life. It IS difficult if her family were depending on her in that way and if that's how it has been for ever, but things have to change. Perhaps they will share in the good things her life may bring.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 12:58 pm

There have always been feisty women, everywhere. This one has somehow succeeded in getting heard. If she manages, with UNICEF's help, to become a teacher, as she hopes, and return to her village, she'll be helping her family and her village to combat some of the causes of abject poverty. Hopefully, when she does marry, her children will not only survive, but will be literate and have wider life choices.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 1:00 pm

AussiePam;1251967 wrote: There have always been feisty women, everywhere. This one has somehow succeeded in getting heard. If she manages, with UNICEF's help, to become a teacher, as she hopes, and return to her village, she'll be helping her family and her village to combat some of the causes of abject poverty. Hopefully, when she does marry, her children will not only survive, but will be literate and have wider life choices.
Sounds like a good plan to me! That one works!