You’ve done alright.

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KB.
Posts: 1562
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

You’ve done alright.

Post by KB. »

"Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls; for, thus friends absent speak."

~John Donne



How are things?

It has been a little over a month since I saw you last. I didn't call Christmas and I didn't send you or that young man any gifts. I'll bring something up the next time I visit. I think I'm going to wait until I can get a Saturday off so you'll be right in front of me, across the bar, close by. I've got some pictures I'm going to bring up with me when I do come. Some of them are from there and some from here. The ones from here are in color and the ones from there are in black and white. It is how I see them in my head more than them just looking better in one way or another.

I still get emails almost every day from all over the world asking me how you are doing. You have fans every where. That Neil Young song is truer than ever. February is getting close. Do you remember that night? I do. I suppose you do too. You'd be amazed if you saw this apartment compared to my old one in St. Louis. Not only is there furniture here and a real bed, a damn comfortable bed, but there is a picture frame, there is a kitchen full of food, dishes, and cook books. There are stuffed animals and baby's blocks sitting in the living room.



I'm trying to gain weight before I come back, but it just isn't working. No matter how much food I stuff into my face it just doesn't stick. I'm always hungry. I haven't been feeling so well lately. The holidays always screw up my hours and make it so hard to keep a regular schedule. I'm glad they are over so that maybe I get a little normalcy back. I'll see you soon. We need to talk about these stories and how you'd feel about being in print. I'm perfectly satisfied with what I gave you before I left. Not everything is the same as it was when I gave you that, but things change, which is how it works.

See you soon.



How are you?

I've enjoyed seeing you over the last month or so. I've seen you more in the last month than I have in years. It's kind of ironic isn't it? Hell three times in the last week, and it'll be four times in seven days come Monday. Did you ever think it would be so easy to do that? It's easy for me anyway. My hands haven't been in as bad of shape as they usually are this time of year. They are dry but not cracked and bleeding like they usually do. They are at their worst right now and I sat there playing trivia last night and rubbed them hoping for some relief. I guess I am a little too thin skinned. Do you remember earlier in the year when you came to see me and noticed how bad they were? Remember how you took them in yours and eased the pain a little? I think that was my favorite moment of that too short visit. I spoke too soon. As usual the things I write bite me in the ass. They started cracking and bleeding today after I wrote this.

I should have listened to you on that question last night it would have given me the number one spot on the trivia board.

You know I've got a copy of Tombstone, the director's cut, and a big ass television. I'm just saying.

You ought to be in my head when I think about how many days until Monday. I'm worse than an addict or drunk when it comes to that. I can break it down in hours almost instantly. I'll see in you in about nine hours. I almost forgot, that little line in your last email, the one that said, "You understand me", I do. Not as much as you understand me, but more than I understand most.

See you soon.



Hey,

How long has it been now since I left? I think it was six years this past September. You wouldn't know me now; eighty pounds of me is missing somewhere. I bet you would be surprised at how often I tell that story of the night we met. I always start it the same way, "I saw her dancing on a bar on a Friday and she moved in on a Sunday." It was Friday but the Sunday was a Saturday. I like to put an extra day in there. That Sunday after you stayed for the first night was a rough one. I almost died that day. If it hadn't been Easter and Greg hadn't been home because we were closed I probably would have died. Hell they couldn't get a blood pressure reading from me when I finally told Greg to take me to the hospital. I couldn't even see at that point, I was blind. I spent a few days in the ICU and thanks to a nurse from Tennessee I didn't end up dead.



You have to wonder about meeting someone and then ending up in the emergency room a couple of days later. You did come to see me though. You realize that you were the last woman I was involved with that my parents met? Mom looked at you and told you to take care of me. You did for the most part. You don't look thirty either. Every time a woman tells me, "Don't look at me like that." I think about that car ride to your apartment, which you hadn't stayed in for months, and you saying the same thing. I wonder what that look is. I hope you are doing well and I hope the things that tormented your sleep those nights have eased up on you. I hope me being close by those months helped a little. I know waking up and knowing that there was someone close by who cared about me, for how ever long, helped me.

It's a damn shame Texas is as small as it is. I miss it sometimes, but the state just isn't big enough. I still think you might be the devil. Maybe that's why I miss you like I do sometimes. You are the toughest woman I've ever known. I won't lie; it speaks to me knowing that the woman walking next to me would claw out the eyes of any man that wanted to stand in my way. Maybe it's just me. You made a good Kate.



What's up?

So you are going to be the Father of a Son. You lucky bastard. I sent your gorgeous wife a little email a while ago. I told her some things I am sure she already knows, but it is always good to hear them from someone else. A Son. Do you think you can explain what that means to someone? I suppose only a man would understand and not even all of them. I understand. I'm jealous too. A little man to raise up and be tough but still be soft when it is needed, to play ball with, to carry that name. To carry a part of you. To be able to look at your own Father and let him know that he will be the Grandfather of a Grandson. I can't wait to meet him. You'll make a damn good Dad. Don't you let him listen to any of this bullshit pop that these kids call music. You make sure he listens to Zeppelin and The Allman Brothers. Willie and Johnny. Nothing compares to the stories those old guys sing about. Throw some Clapton and some Hank in there. Tell him to listen to the words. I'm happy for you and as long as I don't have to change any diapers I'll be more than happy to baby sit sometime. Hell I'll even change diapers.

See you soon.



Hey,

Are you ready? You seem to be, but are you? I told you a while back that no matter how it turns out you aren't going to be the same. You won't be. Don't forget take that picture for me. You'll always have a place to lay your head if I am around. It may be on a couch, but it's better than the floor. Speaking of pictures, have I told you thank you for the ones you've taken so far? Thank you. Just bring him back so you can take more. What the hell am I going to do with out someone to take more pictures? Don't you dare let anyone tell you that you are doing the wrong thing, or that you are being silly. Never let a coward tell a brave soul what is right and wrong. I don't know exactly when it happened but somewhere along the line people forgot how to love. They don't know what it is anymore. I blame MTV. The people that remember are the ones that count. As long as you know the difference everything will work out just fine.

See you soon.



Hello,

How are you old man? You've got another birthday coming up soon and when you get there you will have officially lived longer than you ever expected. Only the good die young, right? How have you been? I hear you bought furniture and might be looking into buying a house next year. It is a buyers market and you can always sell it or rent it if you get to feeling like rambling again. Pride is expensive isn't it? That was a lot of money you turned down. Oh well, the folks that matter are proud of you for it. You never expected to be where you are right now did you? Its cool just keep swimming with the current instead of against it. Relax a bit. Enjoy how comfortable that bed is.



You've done alright. If they put you in the ground tomorrow there isn't a person that could say anything bad about you and not be a liar, or sadly uninformed. You're a long way from what you were ten years ago. Hell, you are a long way from what you were two years ago. The nice thing is that you see it and you have told the people that helped you along the way thank you. You are a good and decent man, honest, open, and willing to help how ever you can. Still too demanding sometimes and maybe you expect too much from some people but it is a fair trade off. You ought to take better care of yourself but you figure you might as well enjoy life we aren't promised tomorrow. Be good to the folks who care about you and be good to the ones who don't. Just be good, but not too good. If for what ever reason you can't be good then just be fast. Look in the mirror its nice isn't it? Do you remember that old song, "End of the Line"?



"Well its all right, even if they say you're wrong

Well its all right, sometimes you gotta be strong

Well its all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay

Well its all right, everyday is judgment day

Maybe somewhere down the road a ways

You'll think of me, and wonder where I am these days

Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays

Purple haze."



Talk to you later.





Life ain't linear.
moonpie
Posts: 554
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:28 pm

You’ve done alright.

Post by moonpie »

KB, that was pretty gut wrenching. It was beautiful too because I can hear so many Daddy's out there wishing they had the gumption to write something like that to their child. Thank you for sharing that.
User avatar
KB.
Posts: 1562
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

You’ve done alright.

Post by KB. »

None of that was written to a child, but I'll take it as a compliment that you read it that way.

I'm not a father either.

That was all written to friends or old loves, or both.
Life ain't linear.
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