Did you see what happened there?

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KB.
Posts: 1562
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by KB. »

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.”Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

I love me some Winnie the Pooh. That’s right I said it. I can also drink you under the table and cut you six ways from Sunday before you blink twice. Want to see?

I think I had the most satisfying moment in all of my thirty years tonight. I reached out for a sweet baby girl like I had been doing every Tuesday for the past month and this time she reached for me as well. Oh Lord bless my poor wore out heart. Wrap my gypsy soul in a baby’s blanket and throw it in the closest.

Me reaching out for that little girl and her reaching back, the look in her Mother’s eyes as she did so, and hearing “She went to him? I can’t believe it.” Patience is a virtue. I’m persistent. If I set my mind on you I will eventually get what I am trying for. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Ready? Addyson was the very first baby I held. Have you seen her? Sure she fakes a cry here and there; it doesn’t work on me. I’ve seen those crocodile tears from women a year old to forty. You better save those for somebody else; all I am going to do is let you reach in to that box of Teddy Grahams for your own treat, tell you to quit faking, and blow on your ear. I know you’ll be grinning at me again in a few minutes.

There is a huge difference in the act of picking a child up and them going willingly with you and the act of holding out your hands and that child reaching for you. Oh, but there is. Try it some time if you don’t believe me. I mean it is nice to be able to pick that babe up and everything is alright, but it is nothing compared to them coming to you. I honestly don’t think there is a better feeling in the world. I was amazingly proud of myself.

Chalk up one more reason to stay right where I am for a long, long, time. It ain’t the furniture or the big ass TV; I could throw all of that crap outside on the front lawn and set it on fire right now for all I care. It’s a speed bump not a stop sign. Tuesday nights keep me here, Monday afternoons keep me here. I’ve got a complication next week. Tuesday there will be a neighborhood potluck at Joanie’s, the Center of the Universe. Tuesday night is the night I get to see if I can convince that baby girl to come to me again, cook for her Mom and cook for Mandy as she takes pictures and observes in her quiet little way.

Center of the Universe vs. babies, Moms, friends, and home cooked meals.

We’ll be having a little something less complicated next week for dinner. I’ll surprise you, it’s good.

Did you see what happened there? Some folks involved will never understand what just happened. Some folks, see you Monday, undoubtedly do.

There is nothing I love more than to cuss, drink, smoke, fight, and chase after no good for me women; nothing except play with a cute little baby girl.

If things had went differently six years ago I’d have my own child running around raising hell and watching Winnie the Pooh movies. Things didn’t work out differently though and some times I wonder what she or he would have looked like.

Mom was gorgeous, she was a vision of earth tones, and I felt like a child myself playing in the dirt when I was with her. A subtle creamed coffee complexion and eyes so damn brown you could plant a garden in them. Her hair was black and straight. I wonder whose eyes that child would have had. We both had nice lips so they were set as far as that went. I bet that child would have been beautiful, if things had worked out differently, they would have been a little over five years old now. I don’t know why things didn’t work out differently.

I don’t like to ask too many questions concerning things like that. I don’t like my late night conversations with myself and anyone who might be listening to get that heavy. It worked out the way it did for what ever reason. A child was never given the opportunity to be born and a man was never given the opportunity to be a father. What else can I say about it?

I know I started drinking again and smoking more. I know I blamed myself. I know, hell I don’t know much of anything.

Tuesday nights. Thank you. I do know that Tuesday nights help me to forget about things that weigh heavy on my mind.

Don’t let me talk about little Ms. Addy bug without giving proper accolades to mom. I have the ultimate respect for any parent who raises their child. I have even more respect for a single parent who raises their child. I have even more respect for a young woman, single mother, student, who manages to balance all of that plus a full time job and raise their child.

It can’t be easy and I am sure things get frustrating and you get weary at times. You couldn’t pay me to be 18 again even if I got to go back to when I was 18; you couldn’t pay me millions to be 18 again now. The world is so different. I know each generation says that about the newest, but it is true. I know for sure I wouldn’t make it through this time; I barely made it through anyway.

Everyone wants to tell you how you should live your life; I’ve been guilty of it myself. They tell you that you should be an adult and then they treat you like a child. I apologize, and not just for myself, but for everyone. The fact of it is most of us don’t have one clue how hard it must be. How overwhelming it must feel at times.

You’ve taught me some things; both about me and about people in general.

Just remember that you have good friends who care about you and about that beautiful baby girl of yours. People that would do anything in the world for you. Just don’t forget to ask and to accept. I only made it this far because of my friends, family, and God. None of the three gave up and no matter how hard headed and stupid I was they were always there to lend me a hand when I stumbled; they still are.

Mandy thank you for the pictures. I told you about an hour ago that I love you for a lot of different reasons, and one of those reasons are those pictures. I told you that I woke up one morning and realized that all of my stories are just black and white text; that your pictures tell just as much as those words do. I can write for days about the Center of the Universe but until you go visit that corner bar you will never understand, but pictures help. I can write a hundred “Muse” stories, but until you see two different pictures; pictures of simple glances at different times, you have no clue.

I can talk about a smile on my face as I play with a child, but that picture says more and says it plainer than I ever could write.

God bless the three of you, God bless Tuesday nights, and God bless me.



KB





“You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.”

~Winnie the Pooh
Life ain't linear.
User avatar
KB.
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by KB. »











Muses, you have to love them.
Life ain't linear.
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SuzyB
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:52 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by SuzyB »

That is fantastic KB what a great insight you have! Lucky you, they both look beautiful and lucky them, have you shown Mom this? You are truly special to see such beauty and feel so strongly about baby, many fathers can take a lifetime and never understand how special their children are.

I love the way you included the pictures too.

Suz
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!





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KB.
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by KB. »

Mom will see it tomorrow. The child isn't even mine and I wish I could understand how someone could look at her and not make every effort to be there; for both of them. He's garbage though; she is better off with out him, both of them. All I do is cook spaghetti, lasagna, and what ever else comes to mind. Give them and a few others a nice quiet place to hang out and feel welcome. The baby loves my mashed potatoes; I put a little dab on my finger and she says, "Ummm" as she eats them.

I love it.
Life ain't linear.
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KB.
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 10:20 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by KB. »

And thanks for the comment Suzy. I ain't writing for my health. Well maybe mental health but that is a different story.
Life ain't linear.
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Lisa
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Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:30 pm

Did you see what happened there?

Post by Lisa »

Lovely story KB :)



Thanks for giving us a peek into your world.



May your sunshiny days last forever!:-6









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sunny104
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Did you see what happened there?

Post by sunny104 »

I love people who love babies! :D :-4 Awesome story and pictures!! :-4 :-6
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