Sense Impressions

polycarp
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:00 am

Sense Impressions

Post by polycarp »

Across empty options

Feelings crawl

To achieve the undone

When no inputs abound

Hence the sense impressions

Seem to brawl

On wishes that can’t be

For reasons never found

Thence in mind formations

Fears prowl

Over a life time so short

Yet mystery bound
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".
koan
Posts: 16817
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:00 pm

Sense Impressions

Post by koan »

I like the phrase "sense impressions" our senses really only do give us impressions and not the whole truth. In keeping, it feels like this is not a whole poem. It is good to leave it here in the way that our senses give us only partial information but I wonder if you might add more to this down the road. Does it feel finished to you?
polycarp
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:00 am

Sense Impressions

Post by polycarp »

Hello Coan, thanks for your usual brilliant opinion. I guess it depends on the angle from which you are looking at the poem. I initially felt it should end like that owing to man's helpnessness in knowing the absolute truth about his existence through his senses, which considering its complexities makes a lifetime seemingly not enough to unravel. In his regard, any addition in my opinion will give it a different meaning from the initial idea that triggered the writing of the poem. Additions to the poem may come in the form of giving mankind hope or advocating a way out of the quagmire of the many unaswered questions that bedevils our existence, which as I said defeats my original idea. However, maybe I'll look at it again and see if I could explore other possibilities without compromising the central focus. Thanks again.
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".
koan
Posts: 16817
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:00 pm

Sense Impressions

Post by koan »

I thought it but forgot to write it.

When I reached the end of the poem I thought. "You can't leave me here, just hanging" then I realised that it was part of the effectiveness of the poem. If you don't add anything it is great, if you do add something it would be interesting to see what it is... does your perception or connection to your sense input grow? Or does it remain a mystery forever?
polycarp
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:00 am

Sense Impressions

Post by polycarp »

Hello again Coan, I believe ones perception to the sense input could grow because with experiences our way of percieving things in this world and beyond could increase, but we can never reach the promised land of absolute truth. So it equally remains a mystery for ever in this respect.
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".
koan
Posts: 16817
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:00 pm

Sense Impressions

Post by koan »

Yes. I think Truth can only be found by turning the senses off. When focusing on them one focuses on an illusion and will always be steeped in mystery.
polycarp
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:00 am

Sense Impressions

Post by polycarp »

Hello Coan, I guess we as humans, can only come a step nearer to the truth the more we become humble to nature. Man is over ambitious and trusts his senses way too much, which makes the truths, that nature has to present to continually elude us.

I was reading an agro-ecology book the other day and saw this

"it is not that nature learns faster than humans, it is just that she has been at it longer"

What do you have to say about such attempts by man to be-little nature. I like the Poet William Wordsworth who in defense of nature once wrote;

One message from a vernal wood

Can tell more of man

Of moral evil and of good

Than all the sages can

Accepting that nature is supreme is the first step towards knowing the absolute truth.
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".

Return to “Poetry Writing Forum”