haiku?

User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

A haiku is 5, 7, 5. I like the poem. :-6
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Oh, a haiku by snooze! Yeah!

A haiku is traditionally 5/7/5 but modern haiku do not have to have this burden. I run the haiku contests on my poetry site, and if you are not offended, I will offer advice:



Summer breeze

Caressing my skin

In the sun.

Revisions:

in the sun

summer breeze

caresses my skin

It is a very good haiku snooze, I am proud of you.:-6

A good resource on haiku: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/haiku/haiku.html
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Ha-your indulgence my dear snooze, but I don't think you will mind this one.

This was a haiku I wrote for a Butterfly Contest this week-I am adding the photo.....

(no, I didn't win the contest, but they liked my out-of-the-box version of a butterfly, I just wanted an excuse to post his pic!)

50 yards left

as the swimmer glides

butterfly stroke


I think you saw my link to my one haiku from the Japanese paper, it is totally not 5/7/5, but contains the basic parts of a haiku with multiple meanings. That is how modern haiku is written. I hear next week about my next series of submissions to a different journal, but am happy I got the one if that is all I ever have printed. The masters approved of it, and that was sweet enough to make me happy.

Write some more my dear!

Attached files
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Your last indulgence, dear snooze. Here are a few example of my run-of-the mill modern haiku. They do not have to be 5/7/5. The rule of a seasonal element can be stretched a bit-like in the first one. The seasonal element is school-and I wrote a good one at school last week while they were taking their tests, but I submitted that one and cannot post it.

The tanka-a variant of haiku that stand on it's own as a poetic form, the one about your black kitty I wrote a long time ago. That one is published in my chapbook, they liked that one alot. Your kitty is famous now........(I always hope you would not mind I included that, I should have asked you) I will look today for another one I wrote about your black kitty, if you are not bored of all my responses by now-or say, let's have another Mark Spitz photo posted!:wah:

math class

boy’s homework sheet

conceals gameboy

no one is home

as the thunderstorm blows

keys left on counter

across the moon

moves a dark speck

space shuttle in flight

thunderstorm outside

awakens sleeping child

mother opens door
User avatar
Galbally
Posts: 9755
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:26 pm

haiku?

Post by Galbally »

This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

Comments from Cher:

1) Snoozie -- I give you so much credit for giving it a try. I really liked your poem. I feel completely talentless in that arena.

2) Chonsi -- You words move me. You have talent combined with such kindness to others that I'm filled with warmth reading your posts. Please keep us updated on your submissions. We are so proud of you and we want to be able to be your cheering section :-4
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Galbally wrote: This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?
Yes, dear Gallbally. And you can have up to 17 syllables, or less. Doesn't have to be a perfect 5/7/5/, but you are always a 10.:)

Oh, thank you Cher, you are so sweet. Didn't snooze do a wonderful job? I am waiting for her next one!
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

chonsigirl wrote: Oh, thank you Cher, you are so sweet. Didn't snooze do a wonderful job? I am waiting for her next one!


Chonsi

Would you consider putting some of your poetry in your Journal? That way we could enjoy it here in the Garden.

You know we are truly your biggest fans :-4
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Oh, I could put some I write them all the time. :)
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

I see you put them in your Journal. Excellent! :-6
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

So much for posting

unqualified. Please accept

my apology.

:o
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

:)

(It's not a good haiku, but it is for you, AC)

Lone Star lad

posts his presence

everyone smiles
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

chonsigirl wrote: :)



(It's not a good haiku, but it is for you, AC)



Lone Star lad

posts his presence

everyone smiles


:cool:
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

Chonsi :)

Will you write one for me? :-6
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
Beagle
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:01 pm
Location: Florida

haiku?

Post by Beagle »

OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL

in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all



It may not be great, but it's true!!!:)




Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

Beagle wrote: OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL

in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all



It may not be great, but it's true!!!:)


:-4 Beagle :-4
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
Beagle
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:01 pm
Location: Florida

haiku?

Post by Beagle »

cherandbuster wrote: :-4 Beagle :-4


Thank you Cher! I've had such a good time since I've been back! A special thanks to you.

:-4 Cher (and Buster):-4




Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

Beagle wrote: OK - I've not written one of these since school days so keep that in mind....LOL



in ForumGarden

many new friends I have made

gratitude to all







It may not be great, but it's true!!!:):yh_clap :yh_clap :yh_clap
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Yeah Beagle!:)
User avatar
Beagle
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:01 pm
Location: Florida

haiku?

Post by Beagle »

*Beagle takes a sweeping bow*




Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
User avatar
Beagle
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 4:01 pm
Location: Florida

haiku?

Post by Beagle »

SnoozeControl wrote: Shining dark brown eyes

Looking from her photograph

It's Beagle's beagle!

I'm so bad at this! :wah:


I LOVE it! Thank you! :D




Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Go snooze go!:)
User avatar
zinkyusa
Posts: 3298
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:34 am

haiku?

Post by zinkyusa »

thru the night

a speeding bat is flying

owie, didn't see the tree



zinky's haiku
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
User avatar
zinkyusa
Posts: 3298
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:34 am

haiku?

Post by zinkyusa »

SnoozeControl wrote: :yh_clap


thank you

thank you very much
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

flick of paw

stops the alarm

snooze control
User avatar
guppy
Posts: 6793
Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

haiku?

Post by guppy »

zinkyusa wrote: thru the night

a speeding bat is flying

owie, didn't see the tree



zinky's haiku


That is really good zinky. :-6
User avatar
Galbally
Posts: 9755
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:26 pm

haiku?

Post by Galbally »

Galbally wrote: This is a well cool thread, I love these Japanese poems, excellent. I shall try to come up with one myself. 17 in total, order 5 7 5, yeah?


You know what, this isn't easy at all. :thinking:
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
User avatar
guppy
Posts: 6793
Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

haiku?

Post by guppy »

Galbally wrote: You know what, this isn't easy at all. :thinking:


dont feel bad, i can't do it either.:)
User avatar
guppy
Posts: 6793
Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

haiku?

Post by guppy »

SnoozeControl wrote: I'm not letting that stop me!


go kitty go........you are talented enough to write it, my place is to admire the talent......:)
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Oh snooze, that is a good one! Suits Dr. G to a T!
User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

fish pond

in the beautiful garden

guppy’s home

Attached files
User avatar
guppy
Posts: 6793
Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

haiku?

Post by guppy »

chonsigirl wrote: fish pond

in the beautiful garden

guppy’s home


chonsi-you are so sweet. :-4

and you are right. fg is my home.:-6
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

Accountable's try:

A bull in a china shop! :eek:

Yet he's still writing. :wah:
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden



Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitarist
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

haiku?

Post by Accountable »

cherandbuster wrote: words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden





Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitaristI like it. :)



I like it alot!
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

Accountable wrote: I like it. :)



I like it alot!


Acc

my friend :-6
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

cherandbuster wrote: words to encourage

beauty seen from inside out

Cher and her Garden



Someone just tell me that it's *not* absolutely terrible. :guitarist


Oh, this is so good! What a pretty haiku!:yh_star
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

chonsigirl wrote: Oh, this is so good! What a pretty haiku!:yh_star


I got a gold star from Chonsi :D
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

haiku?

Post by chonsigirl »

Accountable wrote: Accountable's try:

A bull in a china shop! :eek:

Yet he's still writing. :wah:
:wah:

bric-a-brac

AC is back

*closing eyes*


:-4
User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

This is for my friend Snoozie:



Hard shell to obstruct

goodness and love in her soul

Snooze Control hides well
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

This is for my friend Chonsigirl:



Depth, love, kindness, peace

On display for all to see

Chonsigirl shares all
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

This is for my friend Minxsy:



Beauty in the soul

Searching for her one true love

Lies within herself
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





User avatar
cherandbuster
Posts: 8594
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

haiku?

Post by cherandbuster »

This is for my friend Pinky:



Laughter overflows

Lighting the fire in others

The Pinkster shines on
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





Post Reply

Return to “Poetry Writing Forum”