I don't get this...

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David Hill
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 7:30 pm

I don't get this...

Post by David Hill »

Ok, I may not be a parent, or an adult, but why??

ok so here is the story: I was hanging out in the park with this girl one day and her friend came up about 10 minutes after we got there. So me and this girl are swinging on the swings and this kid goes and sits on a bench and pulls out a pack of cigs... I figured his brother or someone got them from him so ok... but later i found out his mom bought them for him. I repeat HIS MOM BOUGHT HIM THE CIGARETTES. I'm 16 and this kid was 15... why in HELL would his mom do this? She may seem cool to him but to me, it justs seems the mom doesn't love her son at all... This just amazes me by all means...
SweetDarlin
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I don't get this...

Post by SweetDarlin »

I'll assume his mom smokes. Maybe she thinks by giving them to him she will stop him from stealing or acquiring them in dangerous ways. She knows not what she does. But ignorance is no excuse.

There is no good reason for giving children cigarrettes... and it's against the law. *wink
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Clint
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I don't get this...

Post by Clint »

I agree that ignorance is not and excuse. There can't be anyone alive today who doesn't know how dangerous cigarettes are. A mother who would buy them for her son doesn't know what love is or is not well mentally.
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
orangesox1
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Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:38 am

I don't get this...

Post by orangesox1 »

My daughter is 16 and smokes, as do all her friends, She has asked me a few times to buy them for her but I refuse. I have two student borders 17 and 18 whos mother smokes and buy them for her girls, I put it down to her not really understanding the danger in smoking and what it's doing to the girls because she also smokes.



If my daughter goes to a party and asks me to by drinks I do, because if I don't she'll drink what others give her and drink too much. By buying her drinks, I can then give her a lesson on the fact that this is plenty for her and if she drinks more than this she'll end up throwing. She is pretty good and returns home looking quite normal and not drunk.



I had a party for my 13 yr old son a couple of years ago,( no alcohol ) some of the girls went down the street at 6.30 for a walk, at 8.30 I had to deal with an irrate parent who had come to get his daughter who was blind drunk, I copped the blame for that from him and still don't speak to him. What happened was..



His daughter turned up here with money to buy alcohol, the girls went to one of the other girls mothers down the street and she bought loads of alcohol for them and I mean loads. they drank it secretly and his daughter 14 got totally drunk. He blamed me, however when the police went to charge the Mother she said she had given it to her daughter at home who had passed it on. I have never had another party.
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venus
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I don't get this...

Post by venus »

She is not doing herself or her son any favours..

She is in a way killing him herself...

some people :-5
take a bite out of life it's there to be tasted!!
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Clint
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I don't get this...

Post by Clint »

When my son was a senior in high school he was asked by the elementary school to talk to the students at an assembly. They wanted him to tell the kids how he made it through school without using alcohol, drugs or tobacco. I tell you this so you will know that I’m not just another naive parent who thinks their children didn’t do that stuff.

We talked to our children about the danger involved in drugs, alcohol and tobacco fairly frequently. We also let it be known that they were not permitted to use them and that if they did they would be disciplined for it. Now that they are adults, our children partake of adult beverages and as far as I know, they do it responsibly.

Giving children alcohol is a bad idea. They can’t think straight without it yet... let alone with it. Allowing them to smoke is......:-5
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
orangesox1
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Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:38 am

I don't get this...

Post by orangesox1 »

Clint wrote: When my son was a senior in high school he was asked by the elementary school to talk to the students at an assembly. They wanted him to tell the kids how he made it through school without using alcohol, drugs or tobacco. I tell you this so you will know that I’m not just another naive parent who thinks their children didn’t do that stuff.



We talked to our children about the danger involved in drugs, alcohol and tobacco fairly frequently. We also let it be known that they were not permitted to use them and that if they did they would be disciplined for it. Now that they are adults, our children partake of adult beverages and as far as I know, they do it responsibly.



Giving children alcohol is a bad idea. They can’t think straight without it yet let... alone with it. Allowing them to smoke is......:-5


That is what I would like ideally, but I know she will go to a party and drink everyone elses and that would scare me as I wouldn't know what was in the drinks or how much she would drink. Unfortunatly I can't stop her from going to a party as she will just tell me she is spending the night at a friends house and go from there.



I also find it extremly difficult raising teenages alone and would have loved for them to come from a home with a Father who could be a bit firmer with them than I am. I do my best and sometimes it doesn't seem to be good enough, but there still pretty good kids and have learned not to get drunk.There nowhere near as bad as I was at their age;)
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

orangesox1 wrote: That is what I would like ideally, but I know she will go to a party and drink everyone elses and that would scare me as I wouldn't know what was in the drinks or how much she would drink. Unfortunatly I can't stop her from going to a party as she will just tell me she is spending the night at a friends house and go from there.



I also find it extremly difficult raising teenages alone and would have loved for them to come from a home with a Father who could be a bit firmer with them than I am. I do my best and sometimes it doesn't seem to be good enough, but there still pretty good kids and have learned not to get drunk.There nowhere near as bad as I was at their age;)
The single parent thing is tough. If we could all get our children to teach their children to improve on what they experienced growing up, it wouldn't take many generations before this world was a much better place. If your children are doing better than you did, then congratulations. I know mine did better than I did so maybe we are heading in the right direction.
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
orangesox1
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I don't get this...

Post by orangesox1 »

Clint wrote: The single parent thing is tough. If we could all get our children to teach their children to improve on what they experienced growing up, it wouldn't take many generations before this world was a much better place. If your children are doing better than you did, then congratulations. I know mine did better than I did so maybe we are heading in the right direction.


Sometimes I'v wondered if the Stats on divorce will change because the children know the pain they went through and wouldn't want to put their children through it. But then staying together for the children sake is not always the best thing either.
Jives
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I don't get this...

Post by Jives »

David Hill wrote: HIS MOM BOUGHT HIM THE CIGARETTES..


This is actually very common. It's an example of bad parenting, it's true. So what ws the parent really thinking of when she gave her child, and irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind human being, cigarettes knowing full well that this addiction will lead to pain, suffering, and eventual early death. ?

Simple. She wanted him to like her, think she is cool, and be her friend. What she forgot is this.....

Kids have friends, lots of them. What they need are parents. It's true that they may say they hate you for a while, but deep down they understand that they need rules and that it shows you care for them.
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
Jives
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Post by Jives »

This reminds me of a time I overheard two little girls talking in my class:

1st girl: (irritated) "My mother keeps interfering in my life. She tells me which friends I can have, she makes me call her all the time and tell her wherre I am, and she even makes me come home at 11:00."

2nd girl: (looking dejected and sad) "You sure are lucky, she must love you. My mother doesn't even care where I am."

The point being: What's worse than making rules, and expecting consequences for your children? No rules or consequences at all.:cool:
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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Clint
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I don't get this...

Post by Clint »

orangesox1 wrote: Sometimes I'v wondered if the Stats on divorce will change because the children know the pain they went through and wouldn't want to put their children through it. But then staying together for the children sake is not always the best thing either.
We have to hope they will. The difficulty will be in getting them the tools necessary to make good choices when they are looking for thier future mates. If they only could know somehow that passion doesn't equal love and that good looks don't equal sability and strength of character. I think it is essential for a single parents to expose thier children to the best possible examples. I think they sould get them around the kind of a family they would hope for their children as often as possible by carefully choosing their own friends and opportunities for fellowship.
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
orangesox1
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I don't get this...

Post by orangesox1 »

Jives wrote: This reminds me of a time I overheard two little girls talking in my class:



1st girl: (irritated) "My mother keeps interfering in my life. She tells me which friends I can have, she makes me call her all the time and tell her wherre I am, and she even makes me come home at 11:00."



2nd girl: (looking dejected and sad) "You sure are lucky, she must love you. My mother doesn't even care where I am."



The point being: What's worse than making rules, and expecting consequences for your children? No rules or consequences at all.:cool:


My daughter went away for a few days with her friend and friends parent, I called her on the Sat afternoon and she informed me she was going to a party. That night I called her at least every hour on her mobile to check on her. The funny thing was that she didn't seem to mind me calling, her friends commented, " wow your Mum worries about you" but it didn't bother her. I think it gave her security.
Jives
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Post by Jives »

Outstanding, Sox! That what I call responsible parenting!:D
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
orangesox1
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Post by orangesox1 »

Jives wrote: Outstanding, Sox! That what I call responsible parenting!:D


Why thankyou Mr Jives, the best thing I ever did was give my kids mobiles they thought I was being kind to them but I though I could keep track of them. I have also been known to drive past and check where they are when they have given me their location.;)
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nvalleyvee
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Post by nvalleyvee »

I caught my daughter snitching my cigs. From that day forward I kept the cigs on me - I even took them into my bedroom at night. I know this didn't stop her from smoking. I told her I would NEVER buy them for her so don't even ask. She regrets starting now but that peer pressure is just too hard. If I had known better - I would have quit when she was born so she could never say to me.....Well YOU smoke Mom.
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
orangesox1
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Post by orangesox1 »

nvalleyvee wrote: I caught my daughter snitching my cigs. From that day forward I kept the cigs on me - I even took them into my bedroom at night. I know this didn't stop her from smoking. I told her I would NEVER buy them for her so don't even ask. She regrets starting now but that peer pressure is just too hard. If I had known better - I would have quit when she was born so she could never say to me.....Well YOU smoke Mom.


I don't think you quitting would have made a difference, it depends on her friend. My kids were brought up with non smoking parents but smoke now because their friends do.
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nvalleyvee
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Post by nvalleyvee »

orangesox1 wrote: I don't think you quitting would have made a difference, it depends on her friend. My kids were brought up with non smoking parents but smoke now because their friends do.


Moms are always guilt ridden - thanks for making me feel better.
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
Idaho_Chic
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Post by Idaho_Chic »

Some parents are just clueless i guess. I know someones parent that buys them cigarettes too! I am totally against it! :-5
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

David, you're a good man in the making. Don't smoke. Don't start. Try not to let your friends start. Making snide remarks about kids who do smoke helps some.



When you drink your first beer (if that happens) you won't like it. The old "it's an acquired taste" thing may be true, but if you just accept that it tastes bad and don't drink again, you'll avoid alot of trouble. Be the designated driver instead.



Oh, and don't say Hell. It's unbecoming to a 16-year-old. I keep forgetting life hasn't hardened you yet.
Jives
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Post by Jives »

That was a very compassionate and understanding post, ACC.



(Jives reaches over to the "human being counter" and cranks Acc's scale up a notch.);)
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
SweetDarlin
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Post by SweetDarlin »

Accountable wrote: David, you're a good man in the making. Don't smoke. Don't start. Try not to let your friends start. Making snide remarks about kids who do smoke helps some.



When you drink your first beer (if that happens) you won't like it. The old "it's an acquired taste" thing may be true, but if you just accept that it tastes bad and don't drink again, you'll avoid alot of trouble. Be the designated driver instead.



Oh, and don't say Hell. It's unbecoming to a 16-year-old. I keep forgetting life hasn't hardened you yet.Amen!

(and if you are the Designated Driver... you'll be invited to every party! ;) )

I spent the first 4 years of my marriage to a bartender, too young to drink... I still had a great time.. and I always drove. :)
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