my son maarten

Discussion group for bereaved parents.This forum offers support, understanding, compassion and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their children, grandchildren or siblings.
googolplex
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:59 pm

my son maarten

Post by googolplex »

Hi all of you out there,

I am new to this site and i am not sure yet what i hope to get out of posting my story here. Maybe some new friends to talk to, maybe some advice or maybe just someplace to tell how i feel.

Last week i lost my 9 year old son Maarten to a brain stem glioma. He was ill for 11 months and fought a heroic battle during these months. He finally could not fight anymore on monday 31st of may. He died peacefully at home surrounded by myself, his dad and his two sisters ( 6 and 12)

Ever since this day i seem to go from being totally numb to crying untill my eyes hurt and back again. I cant make any sense out of his death. Why Maarten? what did he ever do to anyone.

I hurt all the time, every breath feels as if someone is pressing down on my chest. I miss him so much.

I just wish i could talk to him one more time, just once to tell him again how much i love him.

I realise it has only been a week, but i feel as if this hurt is here to stay.

It is nice to be able to say these things to people who understand.

googolplex
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G#Gill
Posts: 14728
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 1:09 pm

my son maarten

Post by G#Gill »

Hi googolplex, I am so sorry that you have lost your son. So devastating. You must keep crying and sharing your grieving with your husband and your two daughters, as they will be devastated too.

You all need each other at this time. Your husband may not seem as affected as you, but believe me he will be, inside. Your daughters may also manifest their grief in a different way. But you all need to hug each other. You have two daughters who will need your reassurance and love. You have a husband, and men don't necessarily feel they should cry because they are supposed to be men. But it's OK for men to cry, and they should.

Take things slowly, and find time to hug each other. It is very hard for you at the moment, but it will surely get less hard, and you will be more at peace and able to cope. You will be able to give each other the strength you all need to get through this difficult time.

It is good, also to talk about your son, to remember all the things he did. Things that made you laugh, the naughty things he might have done and got in to trouble for. But most of all the love that went between all the family.

I am sure you will be able to feel a little less devastated as you slowly come to terms with loosing your dear son, and concentrate on the lovely memories of his life. You will never stop loving him, but you all will be able to move on with your own lives. He'll still be around you know, and he will know how much you all love him. He has left his mark on you all and he would want you to be happy to have had him for a son and a brother.

Take care. I'm sending you my thoughts and strength - I know you will all be strong for each other.
I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully
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Odie
Posts: 33482
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:10 pm

my son maarten

Post by Odie »

googolplex;1315151 wrote: Hi all of you out there,

I am new to this site and i am not sure yet what i hope to get out of posting my story here. Maybe some new friends to talk to, maybe some advice or maybe just someplace to tell how i feel.

Last week i lost my 9 year old son Maarten to a brain stem glioma. He was ill for 11 months and fought a heroic battle during these months. He finally could not fight anymore on monday 31st of may. He died peacefully at home surrounded by myself, his dad and his two sisters ( 6 and 12)

Ever since this day i seem to go from being totally numb to crying untill my eyes hurt and back again. I cant make any sense out of his death. Why Maarten? what did he ever do to anyone.

I hurt all the time, every breath feels as if someone is pressing down on my chest. I miss him so much.

I just wish i could talk to him one more time, just once to tell him again how much i love him.

I realise it has only been a week, but i feel as if this hurt is here to stay.

It is nice to be able to say these things to people who understand.

googolplex




hello googolplex

I am deeply saddened for you loss.:-1

He knew you loved him, you were there for him always...........

You must grieve as its part of healing & letting the pain and stress out.

Stay close to your family and have them stay close to you.

Please seek some grief counseling when your ready

sending prayers, thoughts and hugs to you.

:yh_hugs:yh_pray
Life is just to short for drama.
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Kathy Ellen
Posts: 10569
Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:04 pm

my son maarten

Post by Kathy Ellen »

Hello Googolplex,



I am so very sorry to hear about your son's passing. I don't have children but do have 5 nieces and nephews that I love very much. I also teach the wee ones. I can't even imagine them passing at such a young age.



Please know that all of my thoughts are with you at this sad time in your life. There are many good members in FG who are suffering with the lose of a loved one.



Please know that all of my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Somehow you will find the strength to cope.



Welcome to the garden:-6



Best wishes,

Kathy Ellen
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Imladris
Posts: 4798
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 5:29 am

my son maarten

Post by Imladris »

Cannot possibly imagine the pain you are suffering, all I can do is keep you and your family in my thoughts.



There are members here who will understand and can offer you advice, I hope that you will continue to post and maybe gain a small amount of comfort from knowing that people care.



Immy
Originally Posted by spot

She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy





Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
googolplex
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:59 pm

my son maarten

Post by googolplex »

thank you all for your kind words. it really means a lot

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