my husband - my rock, my love has died

Discussion group for bereaved people.This forum offers support, understanding, compassion and hope to bereaved people, struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their loved ones.
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mohair
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:37 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by mohair »

I'm so lost and so sore - my best friend and love died last week - a sudden very rare illness, no reason and no warning and no idea of why him 1 or 2 in a million are struck down with his condition. we never had a chance to say goodbye properly. I just wanted one last hug - it hurts so much I don't know what to do. Friends and family are so kind and caring but I miss him so much and he kept my together I feel as if my life is unravelling.........
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OpenMind
Posts: 8645
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:54 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by OpenMind »

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Mohair. It must have been hard not to be able to say goodbye.

I can only but send you my thoughts.

Take care.
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Tombstone
Posts: 3686
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 12:00 pm

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by Tombstone »

mohair;1324960 wrote: I'm so lost and so sore - my best friend and love died last week - a sudden very rare illness, no reason and no warning and no idea of why him 1 or 2 in a million are struck down with his condition. we never had a chance to say goodbye properly. I just wanted one last hug - it hurts so much I don't know what to do. Friends and family are so kind and caring but I miss him so much and he kept my together I feel as if my life is unravelling.........


My condolences... :(
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chonsigirl
Posts: 33631
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by chonsigirl »

We send you our kind thoughts as you have this hard time.
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fae
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:19 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by fae »

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, it must be so very hard for you,,,,, I hope you have lots of love and support,,,, Use your friends here and make sure,, please,, that you get some support through this sad time.... you will come out the other side, eventually...

Much love and many hugs to you... If ever you need to chat and you have nowhere else to go please message me.. xxx
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along-for-the-ride
Posts: 11732
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by along-for-the-ride »

I am so sorry for your loss. You have reached out to us and, in your grief, took a few moments to post here. Keep posting and you will find that you are not alone.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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guppy
Posts: 6793
Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by guppy »

I am so sorry..lots of love and prayers sent your way.....
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mohair
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:37 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by mohair »

thank you for your support - saw my doc last night - he was very supportive and better than my husbands! he hasn't even sent his condolences, was more interested in making sure I wasn't going to complain about him!!!!! I might yet! on a roller coaster and feeling so lost - early days I know. the rational side of my brain is telling me to get on with things but I just want to lie in bed with the covers over my head,

the turn out for the funeral was overwhelming and i do take comfort from the fact that he was well respected etc but i just want him back ..M
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OpenMind
Posts: 8645
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:54 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by OpenMind »

mohair;1325288 wrote: thank you for your support - saw my doc last night - he was very supportive and better than my husbands! he hasn't even sent his condolences, was more interested in making sure I wasn't going to complain about him!!!!! I might yet! on a roller coaster and feeling so lost - early days I know. the rational side of my brain is telling me to get on with things but I just want to lie in bed with the covers over my head,

the turn out for the funeral was overwhelming and i do take comfort from the fact that he was well respected etc but i just want him back ..M


Do come in here and have a chat if you are feeling low.
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Oscar Namechange
Posts: 31842
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by Oscar Namechange »

mohair;1325288 wrote: thank you for your support - saw my doc last night - he was very supportive and better than my husbands! he hasn't even sent his condolences, was more interested in making sure I wasn't going to complain about him!!!!! I might yet! on a roller coaster and feeling so lost - early days I know. the rational side of my brain is telling me to get on with things but I just want to lie in bed with the covers over my head,

the turn out for the funeral was overwhelming and i do take comfort from the fact that he was well respected etc but i just want him back ..M
My deepest sympathies for you Mohair.

I know that there will come a day when I post here that my husband has lost his battle with cancer.

I do know how you feel.... I remember when my Father died.... He was very respected In the Community and hundreds packed the funeral. Some people asked me how old he was and when I said '80' their reply was 'Oh he had a good Innings then'.... Frankly, I wanted to punch them. He could have been 180 for all I cared... I just wanted him back.

I also can empathise over Doctors.... When my husband was found to be In the stages of advanced cancer the first time, 4 years ago, our GP kept telling him there was nothing wrong. Prostate cancer has very few symptoms and usually by the time the pain comes, It is too late. My husband and myself kept on and on at the GP and what actually made It worse was that on my husbands medical records, It stated that his son had died from a similar cancer at the age of 4 years old. One day I was with our GP and told him I was convinced my husband had cancer and what he said to me was this.... 'There Is nothing wrong with your husband, he Is just lazy because he drives every-where. He needs to get out and start walking'!!!

To cut a very long story short, about six months later he was In so much pain, the GP eventually refered him to hospital but to Rhumatology. He had to wait a further 4 months to be seen and when he was seen the consultant told him that he knew he did not have rhumatism but he knew he was seriously Ill and believed he had cancer. They took him In for a CT scan and found the cancer within a day. It was every-where. It had come out of his prostate and was In his bowel, bladder and Uretha. They gave him 9 months to live but decided on radical surgery to prolong his life. It took a year for him just to recover from the surgery and now It has come back In his lungs with the out-look, very grim.

I remember the day we were In the hospital and they were telling us they had found the cancer and how bad It was. On the way home In the car my husband just wanted to get home and get a cup of tea but I told him to drop me off at the GP's surgery. I am not ashamed of myself for the scene I kicked up In the middle of the reception full of patients.

Of course, the damn GP could not do enough for us after that and we told him where to go. We Immediately changed Doctors but he even kept calling at our home asking If there was any-thing he could do. I said 'yes... Resign' !!!

My husband has made all the plans for his departure, all the paper-work, banking etc Is In order but I just can not ever Imagine the day when he Is not here. I do not know how I will deal with It when It happens but at the moment there Is no treatment that can help him and he worsens by the week.

I can not Imagine what you are going through and have no words of advice to offer because to be honest, I do not think I will cope very well. My heart goes out to you. :-4
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Clodhopper
Posts: 5115
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by Clodhopper »

The reason it feels that your life has come unravelled is that it has. There are no reasons and there are no shortcuts.

I'm so sorry.

Impossible as it sounds now, you can be happy again. But it's a way off. There are stages of grief you must go through. One is that you will keep thinking you saw him in the street, but you didn't. I mention it because it is one of the first.

All the best. I know that anything said is inadequate.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"

Lone voice: "I'm not."
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Amity
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:00 am

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by Amity »

mohair;1324960 wrote: I'm so lost and so sore - my best friend and love died last week - a sudden very rare illness, no reason and no warning and no idea of why him 1 or 2 in a million are struck down with his condition. we never had a chance to say goodbye properly. I just wanted one last hug - it hurts so much I don't know what to do. Friends and family are so kind and caring but I miss him so much and he kept my together I feel as if my life is unravelling.........


Im so sorry..there are no words that can take away the pain you are feeling.

I can only offer you my love and an ear to listen...:yh_hugs
southern yankee
Posts: 3906
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:38 pm

my husband - my rock, my love has died

Post by southern yankee »

It is sooo hard to lose a MATE. I lost my husband father's day. Until it happens to u. u really have no clue. can't stand when those who have no clue say, THEY understand. NO THEY DON't. i have lost my parents, grandma. other relatives and friends. NOTHING hurts like this. It is like half of u is gone. Also don't let anyone tell u it is time. to get over it. The lord allows us to Morn. he is not looking at his watch, saying times up!!! U cry all want, yell all u want. Even scream. It was 3 months the 20th of this month. Somedays are pretty good. others are deadful. I wish u love and healing my dear. God Bless

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