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Discussion group for bereaved people.This forum offers support, understanding, compassion and hope to bereaved people, struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their loved ones.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

My sister will be the same age as our mom when she died.
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Pheasy
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Post by Pheasy »

Accountable;779445 wrote: My sister will be the same age as our mom when she died.



I know how you feel. :-4 Last year I passed my Mums age when she died. It is a very sad and scary feeling :-4
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CARLA
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Post by CARLA »

I understand as well ACC I have lived 3 year longer than my Dad, he died at 57.
ALOHA!!

MOTTO TO LIVE BY:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.

WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"

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chonsigirl
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Post by chonsigirl »

*hugs*
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Pheasy
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Post by Pheasy »

It gives you that 'on borrowed time' feeling. :-4
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

Ouch! I know what you mean. I now hesitate before reading the obituaries.:-3

It comforts me to know what medical science is doing these days.
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
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WonderWendy3
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Post by WonderWendy3 »

Hugs to you and your family Acc! :-4
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abbey
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Post by abbey »

Acc :-4
gmc
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Post by gmc »

I've already passed the age my father was when he died and am rapidly approaching the age my older brother died. All male relatives on my fathers side of the family died early. I've decided it's not worth worrying about.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

I generally carry a heavy case of denial when it comes to death. Probably the bad side of optimism, I guess. It's only 18 months away for me & I've only seen it as a milestone. Sis is telling me about some really intense feelings she's dealing with. I guess it'll hit me sometime next spring.
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Imladris
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Post by Imladris »

It's hard isn't it. My dad turns 65 in a few days, his dad died at 69 but his mum just turned 91 - guess whose genes he hopes are stronger!!



Hubby's dad was 55 when he died, his two best friends 49 and 52 and his first wife 33. It's all so random though, it makes you feel wobbly for a while but you do get past that.



Hugs to you and your sister.:yh_hugs:yh_hugs
Originally Posted by spot

She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy





Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
gmc
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Post by gmc »

I have a surviving parent in her eighties and gradually losing her faculties. I think I would rather drop down dead one day with no warning at all. Watching someone die a little month by month is no fun.
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along-for-the-ride
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

We just don't know when our time will come.

We do miss the family members who did pass away.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

Imladris;779602 wrote: It's hard isn't it. My dad turns 65 in a few days, his dad died at 69 but his mum just turned 91 - guess whose genes he hopes are stronger!!



Hubby's dad was 55 when he died, his two best friends 49 and 52 and his first wife 33. It's all so random though, it makes you feel wobbly for a while but you do get past that.



Hugs to you and your sister.:yh_hugs:yh_hugs
Wobbly. ........ very accurate.



gmc;779655 wrote: I have a surviving parent in her eighties and gradually losing her faculties. I think I would rather drop down dead one day with no warning at all. Watching someone die a little month by month is no fun.

I know what you mean. My beloved's grandmother wound down slowly, gradually losing her mobility, sight and hearing until she was alone and afraid. Just run me over with a truck, if you please.
moonpie
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Post by moonpie »

When they say your parents dies, then you are next. Mine passed away in mid

70's and early 80's, but who knows. I sometimes think I am a heart-attack waiting to happen, because of weight, smoking, etc., yet I survived breast cancer in the early 90's. I suppose I should be shot because I am not taking care of myself properly, but I am the type to always just roll those dice and see what comes up. Sorry, if I offend anyone that takes health more seriously, but it seems that life is just that, a roll of the dice.
sofemme
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Post by sofemme »

((((((((Accountable)))))))))

hugs little brother.;) Getting past the birthday was difficult; mainly because there were many things I had never faced. Hind sight is 20/20 right? Now that it is passed, I can tell you that what I was going through was set in motion nearly 34 years ago. I wasn't even aware that any of this was an issue for me.:(

When I should have been grieving there was too much to do....everyone was hurting so I just did what I had been taught to do and took care of as much as I could. I needed to be strong so no one would have more to worry about.....(You have to remember, these are the thoughts of a young teen who suddenly needed to be an adult.) Then life happened and when boughts of grief took over, I worried what people thought and didn't want to be "feeling sorry for myself" so I would put my feelings back into the closet in the labyrinth of my mind and seal it once again.

As luck would have it, age has taught me not to give a hoot what people think and if they don't like what they see they can either look the other way or bite me and I am not real particular which they choose. :) Now I know it's okay to cry....when, where, and as often as I please.......and if anyone ever stops to ask why; with sincerity..... I will probably marry them. (just joking)


I have helped people through difficult times and keep reminding them that grief takes as long as it takes. Nobody else can tell you when you are 'over' whatever has happened. It's really hard to cut yourself the breaks you give other people....for me it is. I now understand what is meant by that. It's a lot more than just cutting a little slack.

You see, I spent six months with no computer and no local friends....virtually no support system since I have been single for so many years.lol I had to face myself and listen to me. It wasn't a fear of dying....been there, done that and I know it isn't my time yet. It was the missing part....not ever having the friendship that comes with adulthood. It was realizing how young she was when she died. I look at my grandchildren and know how much she missed out on with hers and how much all of them lost by not knowing her...and on and on.

Not only should you cut yourself as much slack as you give to everyone else, you need to be as kind, compassionate, and caring too. Heck, you're the only one who knows where the actual wounds are so you need to put the neosporin on yourself.;)

Sorry I got so long winded here.

hugs,

sofemme.

ps. Accountable, I'm proud of you.:-6
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

That's my sister. She's proud of me. :-6
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abbey
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Post by abbey »

Accountable;799248 wrote: That's my sister. She's proud of me. :-6
And rightly so! :-4
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Betty Boop
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Post by Betty Boop »

abbey;800103 wrote: And rightly so! :-4



Ditto what Abbey said! :-4:-4
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Kathy Ellen
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Post by Kathy Ellen »

Hello to Sofemme and Accountable:-4

Sofemme, it's so nice to meet you. You have a wonderful brother there...as you know:-6

It's very difficult losing ones parents. I still miss my parents so much and think of them every single day:-6

Hugs to you both:-4

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Bryn Mawr
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Post by Bryn Mawr »

Accountable;799248 wrote: That's my sister. She's proud of me. :-6



You can ask for little more in life - you have good reason to be proud of yourself.



BTW. Welcome Sofemme, I hope you'll honour us with your presence for a long time to come :-)

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