- Posts: 72
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:26 am
After trying bereavement therapy which was of no help at all I researched some psychiatrists in my area who take my BSBC. I was fortunate to find a really good one. I stated on 1st session "NO Sugar Coating be upfront and straight to the point so I can master it and tackle what is next." I told him time is money and his is costly and I want results not a blow up doll pretending to listen and capable of disposing scripts.
Right away he was responsive and was straight up with me. Of course I underwent battery of tests to be assessed and other than suffering from severe anxiety and Adult Onset ADD I am mentally intact. I went undiagnosed with ADD as a kid which explained a lot. (Impulsivity....love shopping for 1 )
Anyways I had resolved past issues with my mom. She suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder and I read a book (my mom bible) and from then on I handled her with care and knew how to adapt to her changing behaviors in a healthy manner without either of us hurt.
He said my reactions to her death are normal BUT I need to learn how not to allow others to victimize me. He is right. I need to toughen up. Right now I have a bad case of emotional outrage to wards my brother. Ever meet an arrogant, cocky, bully that thinks he is God yet he is ugly as ugly is and very loud and haughty who cuts at others so he can feel supierior? That is my brother to a T.
Since mom's death his ego is out of control. I am trying to learn how not to react to his behavior. My inner self pleads for someone to come along and literally put him in his place (if I wasn't 5' at 118lbs) . Actually, I need to pity him because one day humility and humbleness is going give him a good dose of reality. It happens to the best of us.
I have instructed all my kids they are not contact or have any contact with any member of that family whatsoever unless they want a broken heart.
My shrink put me anxiety meds 4xs a day to keep me calm and had me start a journal for my venting and one for my mother. Next week the shrink is going to help me with overcoming the hurt and damage already done.
I do feel anyone dealing with all the assorted emotions losing a loved one creates and any added emotions from insensitive family members should consider a good shrink who also does psychotherapy. It is helping me each session and worth the $60 copay each week. Has anyone else benefited in this manner?
Keep smiling it makes them wonder what you're up to.
- Posts: 4567
- Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:53 am
Glad to hear therapy is helping - nothing wrong with talking the issues out with a outside opinion.
I'm not familiar with your situation so I'm assuming losing your mother has been recent, and I'm sorry for that.
All grieving stages are different - I feel I'm just now coming out of my own Coma from losing my Nephew in 2005.
The real you will resurface - and other Family members will not affect you.
One thing from experience - do not dwell on what the other Family members are doing or not doing.(brother)
Just take care of yourself & your Family - maybe some distance from your Brother will help you cope.
Oh, and yes I've had a session or 2 to help me get thru alot grief.
Good Luck & welcome to FG