the bad dreams....

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:21 pm

I fell asleep a while ago and woke up fast and hard out of a nightmare about my mom. It was late, like 12:30 and we "realized" she hadn't come home from work. It had happened before when she was gambling and doing well but this time was different. We knew something bad happened. Just before I woke from the dream, I was yelling at a friend of hers because I knew I needed to go to the morgue to see if my mother was there but the friend was making fun of my mom's clothes.

I woke up and cried. I don't know why I dream this stuff. I either have dreams that mom has cancer again and we're reliving it or crazy dreams like this. Ones where I'm looking for her. I was there when my mother died and I think I handled it okay. I didn't say all the things I'd want to say now but at the time, enough was said. I had promised her when the cancer went to her brain that when her time came, I would do everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her and I tried to do just that. So why can't I just have nice remembrances of Mom instead of these damned sorry things that make me cry like a child? I think if I were to bash my head against a rock, it would maybe kill some of this other pain.

I just realized it's March and the 4th passed without me realizing the significance. That's never happened before. It's now been nine months.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:23 pm

RedGlitter;575952 wrote: I fell asleep a while ago and woke up fast and hard out of a nightmare about my mom. It was late, like 12:30 and we "realized" she hadn't come home from work. It had happened before when she was gambling and doing well but this time was different. We knew something bad happened. Just before I woke from the dream, I was yelling at a friend of hers because I knew I needed to go to the morgue to see if my mother was there but the friend was making fun of my mom's clothes.

I woke up and cried. I don't know why I dream this stuff. I either have dreams that mom has cancer again and we're reliving it or crazy dreams like this. Ones where I'm looking for her. I was there when my mother died and I think I handled it okay. I didn't say all the things I'd want to say now but at the time, enough was said. I had promised her when the cancer went to her brain that when her time came, I would do everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her and I tried to do just that. So why can't I just have nice remembrances of Mom instead of these damned sorry things that make me cry like a child? I think if I were to bash my head against a rock, it would maybe kill some of this other pain.

I just realized it's March and the 4th passed without me realizing the significance. That's never happened before. It's now been nine months.

Aw Glittery One I can only offer you up many huggs

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:31 pm

RedGlitter;575952 wrote: I fell asleep a while ago and woke up fast and hard out of a nightmare about my mom. It was late, like 12:30 and we "realized" she hadn't come home from work. It had happened before when she was gambling and doing well but this time was different. We knew something bad happened. Just before I woke from the dream, I was yelling at a friend of hers because I knew I needed to go to the morgue to see if my mother was there but the friend was making fun of my mom's clothes.

I woke up and cried. I don't know why I dream this stuff. I either have dreams that mom has cancer again and we're reliving it or crazy dreams like this. Ones where I'm looking for her. I was there when my mother died and I think I handled it okay. I didn't say all the things I'd want to say now but at the time, enough was said. I had promised her when the cancer went to her brain that when her time came, I would do everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her and I tried to do just that. So why can't I just have nice remembrances of Mom instead of these damned sorry things that make me cry like a child? I think if I were to bash my head against a rock, it would maybe kill some of this other pain.

I just realized it's March and the 4th passed without me realizing the significance. That's never happened before. It's now been nine months.

You will Terri...It just takes time for you to come to terms with it...It's not been very long since she passed right?...It's never easy losing someone you love, especially your parents...Just think of how much she loved you and everyone around you and how much she was loved as well...Life is a gift, but sadly we all can't live it forever.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:25 pm

sorry you had bad dreams too red , I cant believe it I came in from work and told sue about my nightmare last night , I was in the hospital and my brother who died and my cuz sam who died where there and were both alive , they needed one of my kidneys to keep them alive I had the op and was walking around the hospital with it in a dish I could hear casey and Sam calling out for me but no matter how many corridoors I walked down or how many doors I tried I could not find them all the time in my dream I knew I must hurry as the kidney was going off ...... beats me too but I woke up in some state of distress I can tell you

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:40 pm

Aw Jim. That's a terrible dream. I felt that one. I can only imagine.

It doesn't seem fair that we have to keep living it over and over. Right now something really cool is going on for me and my mom would be the first person I'd tell but I can't. Of course I *can* if I want to talk to air but you know...there's that vaccuum. I'm so sorry about your dream. As least we're in each other's good company, eh? :-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:54 pm

strange we both had them on the same night though

I think with grief its 3 steps foreward 2 steps back I was only thinking yesterday how well I was coping then have a night like last night

but today it was a lovelly sunny day the sort of day that makes you feel glad to be alive and I was thinking about how lovely it will be to see chantelle and how lovelly it would of been for sam and casey to of been able to of met her again ,they both never stopped asking about her for all those long years she was missing ,I will be sure to tell her all about them ,its funny how thing go ,but its onwards and upwards I remain possitive and my out look is good , my loved ones would be pleased how dispite every thing I have never ever given up ,whats the saying its not the size of the dog in the fight ,its the size of the fight in the dog that counts or something like that , I know your strong too and your mom would be soooo proud of you :-6 :-6

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:57 pm

guppy hugs for red glitter and jimbo.....:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs all i can say is you are both very special to me and i am blessed to know you both...i am deeply sorry for both your losses and the pain you feel because of it....:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:01 pm

guppy;576004 wrote: guppy hugs for red glitter and jimbo..... :yh_hugs all i can say is you are both very special to me and i am blessed to know you both...i am deeply sorry for both your losses and the pain you feel because of it....:-4

THANKS GUPPY :-6 :yh_hugs

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:02 pm

Thanks Jim. I have to say having you here has made things a lot easier. I still remember that first post you made. Won't forget it.

Thanks Gup, you know I think the world of you too.

:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:13 pm

RedGlitter;576008 wrote: Thanks Jim. I have to say having you here has made things a lot easier. I still remember that first post you made. Won't forget it.

Thanks Gup, you know I think the world of you too.

:-4

you really have helped me through tough times too red ,joining fg was the best thing I could of done ,we all help each other here, for we know that here at fg and for me its only here ,there are people living your nightmare and here there are people feeling the same pain you feel,and here they are being stung by the same salty tears of grief you cry, thanks too all of you that have helped me and my friends through the most difficult of times :-6 :-6 :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:21 pm

:yh_hugs:yh_hugs:yh_hugs

It's getting a little misty in here now.... *sniff*

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:23 pm

RedGlitter;576027 wrote: :yh_hugs:yh_hugs

It's getting a little misty in here now.... *sniff*

:-6 :yh_hugs

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:16 pm

RedGlitter;575952 wrote: I fell asleep a while ago and woke up fast and hard out of a nightmare about my mom. It was late, like 12:30 and we "realized" she hadn't come home from work. It had happened before when she was gambling and doing well but this time was different. We knew something bad happened. Just before I woke from the dream, I was yelling at a friend of hers because I knew I needed to go to the morgue to see if my mother was there but the friend was making fun of my mom's clothes.

I woke up and cried. I don't know why I dream this stuff. I either have dreams that mom has cancer again and we're reliving it or crazy dreams like this. Ones where I'm looking for her. I was there when my mother died and I think I handled it okay. I didn't say all the things I'd want to say now but at the time, enough was said. I had promised her when the cancer went to her brain that when her time came, I would do everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her and I tried to do just that. So why can't I just have nice remembrances of Mom instead of these damned sorry things that make me cry like a child? I think if I were to bash my head against a rock, it would maybe kill some of this other pain.

I just realized it's March and the 4th passed without me realizing the significance. That's never happened before. It's now been nine months.

Terri, I'm so sorry for your loss and for your bad dreams. The reason March 4th passed without you realising its significance is because you were being your usual very kindhearted self and comforting me!

My mother phoned me on March 3rd to say my grandmother had passed away during her sleep the night before. She was 99 bless her, very frail and becoming very deaf. She was the second youngest of 5 sisters - all of whom have died and all their husbands had died - she was the last in a very large family and she missed them all. Her eldest daughter died last year and she missed her too as Jean visited her every week. My mum lives in Ireland and my other aunt lives in Manchester, so its a long way for them to come to visit. My nan was moved into residential care a year ago as she was so frail, but she wasn't very happy there. She's been poorly for a while now, but she's pulled through a few times when we thought we might lose her so it was kindof a shock to lose her suddenly now.

The bizarrest thing was that I woke up at 4.59 am that morning with a jump and I lay there for a while just letting my mind drift, wondering why I was awake. And as my mind drifted I started thinking about my nan and my grandad (he died when I was only one year old). Eventually I got up and as I walked downstairs I had this feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and as though something truly momentous had happened. Later my mum phoned to say that nan had passed on peacefully in her sleep. I would bet she passed at 4.59am!

Terri, you were so kind and sweet and your thoughtful words meant a lot to me. Thankyou so much.

Your mom wouldn't want you to mourn her each month. If we're truly all connected in the Circle of Life then maybe your mom caused you to pm me that day so I could talk to you and we'd ease each other's sadness. She'd rather you remember her on special days, like her birthday and feel happiness for all the joy you shared together.

I'll pray for you and your mom when I pray for my nan tonight and every night.

My nan's funeral is tomorrow at 11am. Her name is Mabel Florence Thorne if anyone would like to wish her God Bless and to sleep peacefully with her sisters, husband and daughter once more. God Bless to you too Terri, I hope you sleep more peacefully and dreamlessly in future and thankyou again for your kind words, they were treasured. xxxxx

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:03 pm

Rapunzel I'm pretty speechless. Thank you for everything you said. Everything. You know what I will be doing tomorrow. You take good care. :-4

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:58 am

In time it will get a little better, but you never forget. It has been 9 years since my dad has gone, I still find myself thinking about him. It is just a little easier now. Sorry to hear about your mom, and wishing you the best.:yh_hugs

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:00 am

Hey Red.....

I'm sorry you had this dream, it must have been quite traumatic for you (hugs for that)

However...... it may comfort you to know that when you dream about your mother, it actually is supposed to represent your own Intuition, nurture and development. It could be that since your mother passed, you are feeling an absence strongly and this is stopping you developing emotionally.....?

maccat · Post by **maccat** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:30 am

I suffered a terrible bereavement with the death of my brother. He was 2 years younger than me just 31 years old when he died suddenly. It totally tore me apart at the time. We had always been really close, best friends as well as brothers. I thought id never come to dealing with it. Well to be honest you never get over the death of a loved one. Over time you learn to live with it. Its 6 years since he died and i haven't visited his grave for several years now. I don't know why i can't bring myself to go, basically it helps to distance the pain that comes flooding back when i go the grave. A part of me thinks its wrong not to go their but i can't help the way i feel and its my way of coping. You never get over the pain but certain actions help to control it.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:01 pm

oh red i can only offer you lots of love and cuddles:-4 i really do understand xxxxx

changinglanes · Post by **changinglanes** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:35 am

My mom passed 2 mos. ago and I have not experienced any dreams of her. I don't sleep much though and when I do I take a mild tranquilizer. I think if I did and it was to livid I might crack up.

I was not even notified until 5hrs. after she died and it takes 5 hrs. to get there.

Had I been notified like I should have been when she was admitted in the hospital the day before I could have been there and even talked to her as she was coherent. Unfortunately that choice was stolen from me and I had no final good bye. Then she was creamated.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:11 am

changinglanes;752242 wrote: My mom passed 2 mos. ago and I have not experienced any dreams of her. I don't sleep much though and when I do I take a mild tranquilizer. I think if I did and it was to livid I might crack up.

I was not even notified until 5hrs. after she died and it takes 5 hrs. to get there.

Had I been notified like I should have been when she was admitted in the hospital the day before I could have been there and even talked to her as she was coherent. Unfortunately that choice was stolen from me and I had no final good bye. Then she was creamated.

Sorry to hear this changinglanes, it must be very hard for you, who took the decision not to call you sooner?