Bi polar Disorder

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WAMOMMA
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Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:26 am

Bi polar Disorder

Post by WAMOMMA »

My sister suffers from this in my opinion and although she has never been clinically diagnosed, this is what I assume. Anyway, she lost her fourth nursing job in as many months and this morning I found out that she has stolen the checking acct number from our mother (who draws social security) to pay her bills. She has no money for October rent. She has partial custody of my nephew and by October 1st will be homeless. She is telling the entire family that Im ruining her life and Im the reason she cannot keep it together. the reasons she was fired were given as "erratic behavior" but she will tell anyone who will listen that all "those bitches are against me".

Im at my wits end about what to do. I love several states away so I see that it is easy for her to blame me and lash out at me since there is nothing tangible or monetary I can do for her from here. Does it hurt my feelings? Yes. But she is in a downward spiral I am NOT controlling.

Any words of advice? Any one been here before?
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Oscar Namechange
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am

Bi polar Disorder

Post by Oscar Namechange »

You know, In all honesty, I wish there was a label I could put on my sister.... She Is the total opposite to the rest of the very large family and at times I despair of her chavness...

If I had a label for her erratic behaviour, I may be able to make excuses for her sometimes.

Like you, my sister lives a distance from me and I have not been able to be there every time she has a crisis.

It sounds as If you're sister Is the same as mine In that when she has a crisis, she blames everyone else Instead of looking at how she could have done things differently. She tells me I'm her rock, her role model and then Ignores every bit of bloody advice I give her.

I know exactly what It's like without going Into further detail but we are a strong family that would defend each other to the death If need be. Having said that, we had a falling out about two years ago and I cut her off.... difference of opinion over her son.... However, I soon realised that It wasn't the way to go. Sometimes people have to have another person to blame In their lives rather than face the facts that they have failed. It usually comes from feelings of Inferiority or jealousey.

In the end, I just accepted that she will never change but she's my sister and I'm stuck with her.... for that I will stand by her. I may not like her sometimes but I love her. and that's the most Important thing here.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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WAMOMMA
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Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:26 am

Bi polar Disorder

Post by WAMOMMA »

She deleted and blocked me on facebook since she had a falling out with my other sister. I havent even spoken to her since that fight. Which had nothing to do with me. After that fight I received a text message saying I was to have no contact with her son (through her ex husband). Several weeks later, she sent me a text asking for money. I told her no. Now all of a sudden I am the root of all of her problems and I am controlling the family into ruining her life. I have said nothing. She is losing her mind in my opinion. I guess my mother will always be able to move in with me, but Im concerned about what will happen to her...and my nephew.
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Oscar Namechange
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Bi polar Disorder

Post by Oscar Namechange »

WAMOMMA;1406065 wrote: She deleted and blocked me on facebook since she had a falling out with my other sister. I havent even spoken to her since that fight. Which had nothing to do with me. After that fight I received a text message saying I was to have no contact with her son (through her ex husband). Several weeks later, she sent me a text asking for money. I told her no. Now all of a sudden I am the root of all of her problems and I am controlling the family into ruining her life. I have said nothing. She is losing her mind in my opinion. I guess my mother will always be able to move in with me, but Im concerned about what will happen to her...and my nephew.


Sometimes, how every much you care for someone and however much you worry over them, you have to get selfish... that's what I did. My sister was bogging down my life with all her crap which by the way, was all her own fault. I cut her off to give us both time to breathe. She expected me to be there 24/7 for her and when I was, I was told I was Interfering . I cut her off and then she tells everyone how she misses me.... The break did us good I think.

Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. Let your nephew know by some means that you'll always be there for him should he need you but make It clear you're no-one's lame excuse or punchbag..... when they come back after a break, often they will see things differently.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
koan
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Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:00 pm

Bi polar Disorder

Post by koan »

There are a number of possibilities from what you describe. Sociopath, schizophrenic (paranoid), narcissist, and/or drug addict.

Bipolar is the one least likely to fit without more info. True bi-polar, because it's an overused label right now, doesn't mean she sometimes thinks you're her rock, it means she sometimes can't get out of bed. Then sometimes she can't get back into bed.

Whatever she is, it seems best to cut her off from the family until she shows interest in dealing with whatever her problems are.
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Oscar Namechange
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Bi polar Disorder

Post by Oscar Namechange »

koan;1406112 wrote: There are a number of possibilities from what you describe. Sociopath, schizophrenic (paranoid), narcissist, and/or drug addict.

Bipolar is the one least likely to fit without more info. True bi-polar, because it's an overused label right now, doesn't mean she sometimes thinks you're her rock, it means she sometimes can't get out of bed. Then sometimes she can't get back into bed.

Whatever she is, it seems best to cut her off from the family until she shows interest in dealing with whatever her problems are.


I know my Sister Is none of these...

She has 8 children, 4 under the age of 7 years old... she Is a department store supervisor virtually full time and has never claimed a penny In benefits In case anyone thinks that. She runs her home with military precision but It Is the choices In her life that bring chaos at times.

Any young woman who keeps that lot together does not have a problem getting out of bed.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
koan
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Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:00 pm

Bi polar Disorder

Post by koan »

I was talking to WAMOMMA.
abortretryfail
Posts: 153
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 1:44 pm

Bi polar Disorder

Post by abortretryfail »

The only answer is to cut her out unless and until she seeks help for her problems, no matter what they are.

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