Growing up with an Abusive Dad

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Musiclover89
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Musiclover89 »

Hi growing up i had an Abusive Dad who used to beat me up everynight and i still can remeber it all but i want to try and get it out of my memorys for good does anybody have any adivce for me i've tried putting my feelings on paper but that turned out to be a huge faileur (SP?)
"Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, 'I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight', people would say, 'Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.' " Michael Jackson
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spot
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by spot »

Are you sure you want to talk about it out in the open? Forums are permanent and public places.

These questions aren't necessarily for you to answer here but maybe just to think about. How do your siblings get on with your parents now? Did they have the same problem? Do any of you have children of your own?

I think anyone advising you - here or elsewhere - needs a better feel for how your family deals with it now, whether there's rifts, that sort of thing. What happened is history, what's happening now is what you need to cope with.
Nullius in verba|||||||||||
To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.

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weeder
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by weeder »

I agree with Spot. But I also think that it is better to acknowledge the abuse somewhere... anywhere, than to have the upsetment stay inside of you. Telling is the first step towards dealing with it and helping yourself. It must hurt alot. I hope your not still in the situation. It would be really good if you had someone you trusted to talk to, and help you find ways to live with this.
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crazygal
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by crazygal »

Daz have you ever had councilling?
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spot
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by spot »

The other obvious question is whether you'll be going back to the same environment at the end of term. I know you've used the past tense to describe those events but being away from the original environment indefinitely does give you time to work these things through to a conclusion, which going back in two or three weeks doesn't.
Nullius in verba|||||||||||
To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.

Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!
My other operating system is Slackware
Carl44
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Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 9:23 am

Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Carl44 »

buddy , i really do feel for you i was an unwanted pregnancy putting that in he mildest of ways possible ,my dad used to starve me ,i got a severe beating once for eating a bit of fat off of his finished meal that was in the kitchen waiting to be scrapped off the plate and into the bin , he wanted me to suffer ,i had to sleep outside in a van with no blankets just dirty laundry to use to try to keep me warm . i was slave labour ,i used to have to muck out pigs on a farm then have to go to school without washing smelling of pig sh1t,i dont have to tell you how cruel the other kids were but at least i had room on the bus going there no one would sit anywhere near me,my dad used to kneel on my chest and punch me in the face making me repeat parrot like that i was ugly and useless ,but enough about jimbo.. painful as this is to talk about i just want you to know that i know your pain ok



the positives i have taken from the negative situation i was in



*my children have never been beaten ever



*no one can ever scare me ever i have had someone beat me every day so how can someone my size scare me its not going to happen



*my children know i love them i know how bad it is to be unloved



*i never ever let anyone get bullied i have been bullied not nice



*my kids have never gone hungry i remember the pangs of hunger ,and eating grass to stop the growling in my gut ..honest



the biggest positive i have is that i am a better man than he ever was in every way ,he was a gutless child abusing coward .. i am not that pleases me immensely ... you are better than your father take great pride in it :-6 :-6 :-6
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Nomad
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Nomad »

This is just off the top of my head so take it as such. Maybe a letter to him. You could put everything you cant say to his face in the words you write. The pain, fear, hate, love, the why's.....

You could do it for you without expectations from him but who knows maybe it will spark something in him. Heal yourself. My warmest regards.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Carl44
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Carl44 »

Nomad;567436 wrote: This is just off the top of my head so take it as such. Maybe a letter to him. You could put everything you cant say to his face in the words you write. The pain, fear, hate, love, the why's.....

You could do it for you without expectations from him but who knows maybe it will spark something in him. Heal yourself. My warmest regards.


yes you could do that or not talk to him ever again or my own personal fave



bury him alive in the food that he hated most in my case it would be prawns



in custard for him:rolleyes:
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WonderWendy3
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by WonderWendy3 »

Musiclover89;567242 wrote: Hi growing up i had an Abusive Dad who used to beat me up everynight and i still can remeber it all but i want to try and get it out of my memorys for good does anybody have any adivce for me i've tried putting my feelings on paper but that turned out to be a huge faileur (SP?)


I know that was hard to put out on this forum. There are a lot of people here that are genuine and will talk to you and let you talk to them. I'm ONE of those people!:-4

I have never been through what you have, but my heart breaks for you. I had an alcholoic Father growing up, but he never laid a hand on me, just mental abuse.:-1

I hope that you get the counseling you need and that you will be able to become a healthy and happy Adult in spite of your past...

Jimbo...:-4
Carl44
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Carl44 »

WonderWendy3;567637 wrote: I know that was hard to put out on this forum. There are a lot of people here that are genuine and will talk to you and let you talk to them. I'm ONE of those people!:-4



I have never been through what you have, but my heart breaks for you. I had an alcholoic Father growing up, but he never laid a hand on me, just mental abuse.:-1



I hope that you get the counseling you need and that you will be able to become a healthy and happy Adult in spite of your past...



Jimbo...:-4


dammit hands back 5 fluffy points to ww :rolleyes:
LondonFan of MJ!
Posts: 498
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by LondonFan of MJ! »

WonderWendy3;567637 wrote: I know that was hard to put out on this forum. There are a lot of people here that are genuine and will talk to you and let you talk to them. I'm ONE of those people!:-4

I have never been through what you have, but my heart breaks for you. I had an alcholoic Father growing up, but he never laid a hand on me, just mental abuse.:-1

I hope that you get the counseling you need and that you will be able to become a healthy and happy Adult in spite of your past...

Jimbo...:-4


I really like you!

Such a nice women.:-6

Daz hon, phone me anytime. You know that ok.
I have left because of immature people that cannot accept people for who they are.

It's not nice to upset others.



This place isn't stricked enough.



Mods please ban me for good.



Thank you.
koan
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by koan »

What your dad is doing is illegal.

You should stop it. This isn't like the "old days" when no one wanted to hear about it. You are still a protected youth. If you are going back to that house and your father lays a finger on you, get to the police and turn him in.

You have a right to safety and security.

If your mother can't protect you then don't worry about making her mad.

They failed you. I don't think the legal system will.
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WonderWendy3
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by WonderWendy3 »

LondonFan of MJ!;569079 wrote: I really like you!

Such a nice women.:-6

Daz hon, phone me anytime. You know that ok.


:-4 You are a sweet one too! Thank you. I appreciate that:)
chell
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:19 am

Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by chell »

I know how you feel...

I had an abusive father when I grew up. He used to always be so horrible to me, and did things to me that have actually had an affect on me. He left my mum when I was about 7 or 8, and it's been difficult, but I've somehow started coming to terms with what happened.

*Hugs* to everyone whose still experiencing, or has previously experienced this.:(
Carl44
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Carl44 »

I dont suffer from the abuse my father handed to me , I wont let him have that power over me , its my life now and I wont let him ruin it any more ,what he did to me when I was a child he should of gone to prison for it was his fault not mine I am free of him :-6 :-6
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Imladris
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Growing up with an Abusive Dad

Post by Imladris »

jimbo;571401 wrote: I dont suffer from the abuse my father handed to me , I wont let him have that power over me , its my life now and I wont let him ruin it any more ,what he did to me when I was a child he should of gone to prison for it was his fault not mine I am free of him :-6 :-6


I hope you know how much you are loved:-4



(Right, 'nuff of the slushy stuff, back to the mickey taking thread)



Darren, I hope that you can take some strength and support from the people here. Having never been in your situation all I can offer you is a listening ear - it's yours if you need it. But if you are still in a position for him to abuse you then you need to try to find a way of getting out. Social services, Connexions or even Childline may be able to help. Please let us know how you are and what is happening.
Originally Posted by spot

She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy





Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time

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