How could she do that to him?

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Victoria
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Victoria »

My son is 24 and a really gentle loving man.

He started going out with L 2 years ago but about 6 months ago they split up.

A few weeks later he was with her again I asked him what was going on and he told me she was pregnant. For him that changed everything even if they couldn't remain Gf/BF he would support her and the baby.

He would dearly love to be a father, he told me he didn't really want it to be accidentally but the baby would never be short of love.

A couple of weeks later he came home and I could see he had been crying, she had had a miscarrage and was at home resting.

He was very supportive and she was here regularly,at christmas, new year and even last week.

But two days ago he was speaking with her mother and she let slip that the girl had never been pregnant.

He confronted her and its true she made the whole thing up.

My son is devestated he cant understand how anyone could do that.

He had been pleased at the thought of being father and then grieved the loss of his 'baby' but now it turns out to have been a sick prank to prolong their relationship.

Yes he is better off without her and yes he realises that there never was a baby but it doesn't make it any less painful.

For him life is precious so he cannot come to terms with the idea that she would make up something like this.

I feel so sorry for him he is mourning this 'baby' as if it had been real. But it is his dream that has been shatterd along with his trust.
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Galbally
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Galbally »

Its an unpleasant situation for him, I suppose in time he will see it as a lesson about the way people can be sometimes, both men and women. The more sensitive young men tend to be a little naive about what some young women are capable of, not all of them of course.

Well, I hope that he realizes that this woman is not good for him, and some issues of her own to deal with. She sounds a little pathological to be honest; and he may love her or loved her, but he is well shot of her and my advice would be to keep going and don't look back. There are plenty of nice, kind, and trustworthy women out there for him. :-6
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mrsK
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How could she do that to him?

Post by mrsK »

So sorry for what your son has been through:(

Life is one big learning program,I am sorry he had to be hurt that way.

Now on a happier note let him know that there are lovely ladies out there.

He will find the right one for him one day & hopefully that will lessen & help him forget the pain he is feeling now.:-6
It's nice to be important,but more important to be nice.
Clodhopper
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Clodhopper »

It might be hard to see it at the moment, but he's been lucky: If she hadn't been lying he'd be shackled to her for a loooong time. She'd have made his life a hell. As it is - well, a painful lesson, but perhaps an important one.

Why'd she do it? Both men and women can behave very badly in relationships, but tend to do it in different ways. Men tend to violence, women to manipulation.
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Bill Sikes
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Bill Sikes »

Victoria;1168427 wrote: relationships


I wouldn't be too hasty in outright condemnation - it's hard to get the complete story second, third, or fourth hand. Everything needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, and some understanding - on each side.

So, they were g/f & b/f for a year and a half. That's quite a time... the reason for "splitting up" needs consideration. So, he'd like to be a father, and would've supported her - "even if they couldn't remain Gf/BF" - yet he was supportive even *after* the pretend miscarrage, and still maintains contact with her & her family. Are things between them really as hopeless as they might seem?

It's important to remember that he hasn't in fact "lost" anything - it's just something that never was. Was this really her "sick prank", or a desperate but unthinking measure to preserve something valued?

For him life is precious, you say - I could understand this degree of "hurt" if she'd had an abortion, which is in fact what I guessed when first reading your post - but that's not what happened. Nothing did happen, in fact.

He's 24 years old. That is, as you are aware, not very old. He's still got plenty of time to fulfil his ambition.

I'm not trying to solicit further information here - just putting a slightly different skew on things, for what it's worth, with a few rhetorical questions. I'm not saying that they should or should not get back together, either - that's a highly personal decision - but I should add that if there's a forced relationship purely "for the sake of a baby" that's likely to be quite unhelpful to all concerned.
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Odie
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Odie »

So sorry to have your son go through this...there was no excuse whatsoever for her to tell him such a manipulative lie.



give him time, he will be alright.
Life is just to short for drama.
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woppy71
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How could she do that to him?

Post by woppy71 »

This sort of thing makes me sad and makes me question how some people can unashamably manipulate others to their own ends with scant regard to the feelings of those people. Very sad.

All I can say is, It looks like he has had a lucky break and I know that he will one day find someone special that he will spend the rest of his life with.

As said earlier, he needs to learn from this and treat it as one of lifes hard lessons.

Best wishes to him :-6
Behaviour breeds behaviour - treat people how you would like to be treated yourself
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Betty Boop
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Betty Boop »

Bill Sikes;1168459 wrote: I wouldn't be too hasty in outright condemnation - it's hard to get the complete story second, third, or fourth hand. Everything needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, and some understanding - on each side.

So, they were g/f & b/f for a year and a half. That's quite a time... the reason for "splitting up" needs consideration. So, he'd like to be a father, and would've supported her - "even if they couldn't remain Gf/BF" - yet he was supportive even *after* the pretend miscarrage, and still maintains contact with her & her family. Are things between them really as hopeless as they might seem?

It's important to remember that he hasn't in fact "lost" anything - it's just something that never was. Was this really her "sick prank", or a desperate but unthinking measure to preserve something valued?

For him life is precious, you say - I could understand this degree of "hurt" if she'd had an abortion, which is in fact what I guessed when first reading your post - but that's not what happened. Nothing did happen, in fact.

He's 24 years old. That is, as you are aware, not very old. He's still got plenty of time to fulfil his ambition.

I'm not trying to solicit further information here - just putting a slightly different skew on things, for what it's worth, with a few rhetorical questions. I'm not saying that they should or should not get back together, either - that's a highly personal decision - but I should add that if there's a forced relationship purely "for the sake of a baby" that's likely to be quite unhelpful to all concerned.


I would echo Bill here, huge fear of something going on there for her, can you step back, take your son out of the picture and wonder why she would be compelled to behave in such away.
Patsy Warnick
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Patsy Warnick »

I also echo Bill Sikes reply.

I'd be interested in WHY the 2 ended their relationship. and

who decided to end this relationship.

This young girl is Insecure - and pulling some desperate means to hold onto your son. SPOILED BRAT TRICK

This TRICK Shows the real person she really is - and she's probably pulled severe lies / tricks all her life to get what she wants.. check with parents.?

Ugly trick - and your son should move on to a good hearted quality soul

Be happy she's gone - that's not losing anything..

Patsy
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YZGI
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How could she do that to him?

Post by YZGI »

Women? Whats a guy to do?:-5

























































Calm down, just joking.;)
fuzzywuzzy
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How could she do that to him?

Post by fuzzywuzzy »

I'm so sorry for your boy Victoria. If that had happened to my son nothing would hold me back from confronting the girl. (I'm a bit protective that way :-3)

But it's better to find out the depths of this girls motives now than later on when it really could be devastating.

I good learning experience whilst still young . Tell him to put it into his back pocket and try to move on. He'll meet a loverly girl one day but in the event he meets another just like her he'll be prepared.:)

Like woppy said, he's had a lucky escape. Imagine in years to come what crap she could make up and devastate his life.
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along-for-the-ride
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How could she do that to him?

Post by along-for-the-ride »

As you know, Victoria, life is full of learning experiences. As a mom, it is always difficult to see a lesson causing pain to your child, even when that child is an adult. Many of us have suffered a broken heart only to find true love later in life.

Hopefully, he has learned to be more "careful" with his intimate relationships. Believe me, I have a 20 year old son...still single with girlfriends........so I would say the same to him.
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Oscar Namechange
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How could she do that to him?

Post by Oscar Namechange »

Victoria;1168427 wrote: My son is 24 and a really gentle loving man.

He started going out with L 2 years ago but about 6 months ago they split up.

A few weeks later he was with her again I asked him what was going on and he told me she was pregnant. For him that changed everything even if they couldn't remain Gf/BF he would support her and the baby.

He would dearly love to be a father, he told me he didn't really want it to be accidentally but the baby would never be short of love.

A couple of weeks later he came home and I could see he had been crying, she had had a miscarrage and was at home resting.

He was very supportive and she was here regularly,at christmas, new year and even last week.

But two days ago he was speaking with her mother and she let slip that the girl had never been pregnant.

He confronted her and its true she made the whole thing up.

My son is devestated he cant understand how anyone could do that.

He had been pleased at the thought of being father and then grieved the loss of his 'baby' but now it turns out to have been a sick prank to prolong their relationship.

Yes he is better off without her and yes he realises that there never was a baby but it doesn't make it any less painful.

For him life is precious so he cannot come to terms with the idea that she would make up something like this.

I feel so sorry for him he is mourning this 'baby' as if it had been real. But it is his dream that has been shatterd along with his trust. An absolutely wicked thing to do and i sympathise greatly.

My nephew has just become a dad at 15 yrs old (yes, i know, tut) but he was so excited all through her pregnancy. He carried a pic of a scan for months in his coat pocket and was there to cut the cord when he was born.

What your son is feeling is in many ways similar to how a woman feels after a mis-carraige. Although there is no baby, you dream of how she/he will look and be.

I suspect this may have an affect on your son next time this happens for real. Tell him, not all woman are as wicked and to not stop trusting.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
weeder
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How could she do that to him?

Post by weeder »

Sadly, I am not unfamiliar with this kind of behavior. As a female myself, I am always ashamed of young women who stage this kind of stunts. The heart break for young men who feel deeply, can be devastating. I have tried to tell both my sons that some females will do anything to hold on to someone they want. and I hate to have to warn them, but I must. My older sons girlfriend intentionally got pregnant when he was 17, and she was 21. My younger son married his girlfriend when he was 18 ( I begged him not to) they had a baby boy. She packed up and left when the child was 6 weeks old. He has never gotten over it. There is nothing we can do but try to help them make good choices in relationships. When they are hurt, we can only try to comfort them, and hope that they learn to be more careful with who they get involved with. Why did she do this? There are so many possible reasons why..the scariest being to cause hurt, because she was hurt by the break up. The greatest lesson I wish I could share with all of todays young people would be that they should not becme intimately involved without knowing someone for a very long time. I havent bee successful honestly. Hopefully your son will recover from this experience, and learn from it. It should make him more wary, and that is a good thing.
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