mine are locked up in a cage right now....is that bad????:wah:
I am very leniant with my kids, and thankfully, they are good boys and not brats...
I wish I could be just a mom with them, but unfortunately I'm their Dad, breadwinner, decider of all things....and that gets a bit overwhelming at times.
We haven't had it easy, and getting ready to go through some more tough times, but life lessons are the best kind! :-4
I asked my daughter this question and she said 'with respect'
She said the rules in our house were invisible but firm as a general rule the kids knew that they should never act in any way that would make them feel ashamed to look themselves or others in the eye and that if they did their best then no one could ask more of them.
We now have three grown children who have turned into honest, hardworking, loving adults.
I think that we did a fairly good job, considering they didn't come with instruction book !!
With respect. We are direct an honest. Firm when we need to be. Thankfully hitting has never been an issue with the older ones , but my youngest has gotten a slap a few times (only on the ars). And well deserved it as well.
Humour is a big player, there is always a laugh.
Christmas has always been magic…
Santa: Oh Ya! Kept it going as long as we could with the older one, she is now involved in making it magic for the ones who still believe.
Tooth Fairy: You bet, not only money under the pillow, but fairy dust sprinkled all around the room and window.
Easter Bunny: Still doing the egg hunts.
We teach them that life is full of rewards, but we do not shelter them from disappointment either.
They are all great kids who are growing up enjoying every aspect of life.
I think that raising kids with healthy eating habits is the best thing you can do. Health is number one thing that can greatly alter a person's life. I was just reading this article on ParentsConnect about ideas for how to install good eating habits with kids - its got some good tips.
The oldest two - it was tough at times, they were grieving for their mum when I met their dad, the teenage years especially were difficult. I filled the role of mum without being mum and hoped they would one day become my friends - they have.
The younger one - with lots of love, lots of affection, lots of praise and constant awareness of keeping her self-esteem high. There was no way she was going to have all the hang-ups I had!! She very rarely deserved a smack, I hated getting to that point and felt I'd failed. I now have a young teenager who is working hard at school, has lots of friends, a boyfriend (eek!) and is loving, kind, generous and good fun.
I made a lot of mistakes with my girls. I worked crazy hours and my oldest spent a lot of time being "Mommy". The younger was a whiner and a crier, so much was done to keep her QUIET. They are very different now as a result. The oldest is living with her long time boyfriend, self supporting, going to college and doesn't take **** from anyone. The younger - goes to school almost full time, has a crappy part time job, still lives at home, and is still driving me crazy.
My son - very different. With his sisters being 11/12 years older then him, we never did the whole "baby talk" thing. We talked to him like he was a grown up and expected him to understand us. Guess what. He does! We talk very openly and honestly about sex, death, and everything in between. We don't hide the bad things in the world from him but instead we discuss these things as they come up.
As his Dad prepares to return to Iraq - my son is very much aware that while chances are Dad will be just fine, there is a chance that he could get hurt very badly or even killed. Because we have discussed this very matter of factly and he sees that we are not living our lives worried about what could happen, he takes it all in stride and has never once come to me teary-eyed worried about Dad dying. He does, however, feel free to cry on my shoulder when he misses his dad.
I don't pay much attention to ratings on video games or movies. I do, however, steer him away from movies that are graphic sexually. Unfortunately, bad language and violence are part of the world, and I don't think that protecting our children from the bad things in life does them any favors. My children all grew up knowing that a movie (or video game) is just a story and just because you see it happen on a t.v. or movie screen means that it is something you should do. I swear in front of my children (always have) and yet not one single teacher has ever come to me to tell me that they have heard any of my children swearing. They all learn young that just because mom says something doesn't mean that they can.
My husband and I fight in front of the kids, but we also make up in front of the kids. Arguing and disagreements are a part of life. Just because Mom and Dad disagree about something doesn't mean that they don't love each other and it isn't the end of the world.
We spank in my house, but to be honest - I can't remember the last time I spanked my son. Spankings aren't the first line of discipline but the last and usually reserved for dangerous behaviour. For example - the worst spanking my girls ever got was when I caught them playing on the railroad tracks behind our house.
The only problem I have is with one of them (baby one), and it is that I don't want his hair to get too long and he does. :rolleyes: Doesn't hang up his clothes like he should, but if that is all he will ever do to me.. I'll feel blessed.
He is a good boy though, and doesn't like to say a bad word against other people or their race.
:wah:
