Men Only

Dakotawoman · Post by **Dakotawoman** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:36 am

Question:

What is the difference between "loving someone" and being "In love"?

venus · Post by **venus** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:52 pm

Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Thats It Im Invading A Man Only Thread, See How You Lot Like It!!!!

:d

Dakotawoman · Post by **Dakotawoman** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:55 pm

FAR RIDER:

you hit the nail on the head....I do not see any difference between the two. Simply because as a marraige or any relationship progresses through time people change and their feeling do as well. The hot, steamy newness wear off and the 'in love' turns to a deeper affection, goes to a higher level, if you will. Everyone knows that the initial jolt is breathtaking, and there is nothing that the other person could possibly do that would upset you (bad breath, chewing with the mouth open, snoring, nail biting, etc) as a matter of fact they are looked at as sooooo adorable. Then after awhile those little things become annoying and not as adorable. To me love is when you and your partner are comfortable with each other, and the little things (although not so cute anymore) are looked at as part of who they are, and accepted. The love deepens and grows with time. The 'in love' feeling (butterflies, nervousness, jittery, loss for words) is no longer present. What say ye?

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 pm

VENUS,

Here here I'm bogarting my way in as well.. don't tell me its men only...

FAR, Brilliant you nailed it sir..

venus · Post by **venus** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:02 pm

hey hey Carla

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 4:19 am

The men's loo isn't off-limits, why should this thread be any different? :yh_tong2

It's an old and tired saying, but it's true. Love is a verb. I imagine life as a journey. Imagine hiking the countryside with a partner. Helping each other over obstacles is fun at first, then tougher climbs and arguments about which path to take start to wear on you. At each point of difficulty, each partner makes a decision to split up or stay as a team. Each also decides how to view the past arguments

. Splitting up may make sense in the short term - sometimes it's inevitable - but if it's simply over small stuff, consider: sooner or later you will come to a climb you cannot make on your own, and will have to pass up the challenge. Or you will come to a glen of stunning beauty, but without someone to share it with, what's the point? And at the journey's end, it's really nice to have someone to sit with you by the campfire and appreciate how you got to that point.

How's that?

Dakotawoman · Post by **Dakotawoman** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:20 am

Beautiful:yh_hugs

Dakotawoman · Post by **Dakotawoman** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:11 pm

I think that people define being in love as that romantic passion feeling we get usually the first few months of the relationship. I read in an article that we actually produce some sort of hormone that helps to create that feeling, you know the no need of sleep or food, the person is perfect no matter what they do kind of thing......eventually that feeling fades and thats when we have to commit to loving the person we are with anyway, for real, no matter what. For me to love is a choice, a decision we make. When we choose to love we decide to look at the other person in a positive light and we back up those thoughts with positive actions. To love someone is to always want the best for them, to protect them, to put their needs before your own. Kind of like deciding to be selfless. As soon as we decide to be SELFISH, thats when we choose NOT to love and problems begin to appear......

I think when people say they left the marriage because they fell out of love.....it is just another excuse.

Sometimes we may get into a place in which we are having difficulties seeing the positive in the other and we may not feel so loving towards them, thats when we have to dig down deep inside ourselves, people do change, but stay commited, do some self inventory, and re-commit to the relationship...I think if you once loved someone in the way you needed to in order decide to marry them, those feelings can always be re-established as long as you both commit to do so. Its always a choice.

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:30 pm

It's the difference between loving your girlfriend/ boyfriend and loving your Mum. :wah:

Light · Post by **Light** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:36 am

love is constant, being in love is not, but I do not believe that being in love is only in the first part of a relationship.. it comes and goes, you can still fall in love with your wife over and over again, even after 20 yrs of marriage or so. but love is the everlasting basis that you build your relationship up on.

Dakotawoman · Post by **Dakotawoman** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 10:52 am

Thank you Light, here is some food for thought.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

My husband made his CHOICE to fall out of love after 20 years, my heart is still broken and will remain as so.:yh_brokeh

Light · Post by **Light** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:19 am

Dakotawoman wrote: Thank you Light, here is some food for thought.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

My husband made his CHOICE to fall out of love after 20 years, my heart is still broken and will remain as so.:yh_brokeh

sounds like a very unlucky choice of yrs from my side, of course it is very sad, I was just making an example, and yes it can happen that you fall in love again, but indeed it can also happen that your love choses different.

I don't believe your heart will be broken for ever, well it can be, but that would also be by choice... sorry if it may sound harsh but I know by own experience that it is true, well for me it has proven to be tue. allow yourself some time... I am sorry that it was a painful confrontation for you to read this, though I could not know that...

I wish your heart a quick recovery... Best of luck with that...

about your food for thoughts...

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. ( I think it is partly by choice, you choose who you let yourself get involved with and who not)

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. (I agree)

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. (I disagree, sometimes things may happen which makes it impossible to keep loving your partner)

Good luck...