The housemate from hell... Help !!!

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:34 am

I'm in need of funny slogans to put in the toilet and the kitchen, I shall explain the problem...

One of my housemates is a slob and it is driving me mad. I realise there is nothing to say he can actually read, but I'm willing to give this a go before I say things VERY bluntly to him.

Problem

1. He doesn't flush the toilet

2. He leaves the lid up (the dog then drinks his excrements, and leaves used toilet paper laying on the floor)

3. He doesn't clean his crumbs or anything else away

4. Instead of putting clean plates etc. away he leaves them piled on the side after removing them from the draining board.

So what I need is some funny slogans that relate to the above problems that I can put pictures to and put on the appropriate walls around the house, hopefully avoiding the blunt in-your-face talk.

His room is worse and stinks to high heaven, but he's been told as long as the smell doesn't start coming out we'll leave him to his embarrassment, when and if he finally gets a girlfriend.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:37 am

letha wrote: I'm in need of funny slogans to put in the toilet and the kitchen, I shall explain the problem...

One of my housemates is a slob and it is driving me mad. I realise there is nothing to say he can actually read, but I'm willing to give this a go before I say things VERY bluntly to him.

Problem

1. He doesn't flush the toilet

2. He leaves the lid up (the dog then drinks his excrements, and leaves used toilet paper laying on the floor)

3. He doesn't clean his crumbs or anything else away

4. Instead of putting clean plates etc. away he leaves them piled on the side after removing them from the draining board.

So what I need is some funny slogans that relate to the above problems that I can put pictures to and put on the appropriate walls around the house, hopefully avoiding the blunt in-your-face talk.

His room is worse and stinks to high heaven, but he's been told as long as the smell doesn't start coming out we'll leave him to his embarrassment, when and if he finally gets a girlfriend.

Oooo girl been there done that and finally kicked the guy out, I could not stand being tidy up mother to him any longer, bad enough I have the kid to tidy up after.

Funny sayings huh, how about "Mommy didn't move in with you, and I am not her replacement, please tidy up after yourself."

"Flush or be flushed"

"A clean house is a happy house"

I dunno hun, the face to face may be your best bet.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:38 am

Funny slogans, Letha? you must be the most tolerant person in the world! i would show this person the EXIT sign immediately and change the locks!

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:52 am

john8pies wrote: Funny slogans, Letha? you must be the most tolerant person in the world! i would show this person the EXIT sign immediately and change the locks!It's part of the job description... I prefer to give people a chance before I lay into them, sometimes this goes wrong because I'm at the end of my tether by that point.

So far though we have learnt that the only thing that really works is to treat him like a child, so if simple words and drawings work for children... You get my drift ??? :wah:

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:52 am

Above toilet:

"We Aim To Please"---------"You Aim Too, Please"

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:59 am

Letha! Where you been?? Welcome back.

I had a similar problem a few years back. When my roomie refused to do dishes, I'd pile them, unrinsed, onto his bed. Under the blankets. Worked like a charm.

If he continued, I would post bills for my cleaning services, which were very expensive, and add the price to his rent.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue May 17, 2005 11:17 am

Ahahaha BR and Floppy those are priceless, wish I had of asked here before booting the roomie out. Those would have been a good kick in the arse to him.

HAHAHAHAHA good ones girls.

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Tue May 17, 2005 11:19 am

flopstock wrote: I don't lift a leg over your morning tea..how about you don't lift yours over mine!

thanks..the dogThat one is a clasic :yh_laugh

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Tue May 17, 2005 11:25 am

let everything continue to go to hell & go on vacation. this guy should hook up with my daughter in law, a pair made in heaven, shes a slob too.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed May 18, 2005 6:17 am

since his room is the designated den of iniquity, you could leave a note telling him that if his feces are too valuable to flush he could keep them in a jar in his room or lose his bathroom priviledges and just keep them inside his body.

Yuck, letha. I'm sorry to hear you have had to put up with this.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Thu May 19, 2005 2:31 am

I have the same problem hubby has been p*****g on the seat for years i have shouted screamed thrown things its pointless in my house .Men are stupid you

have to tell them straight... or try this :

If you sprinkle when you tinkle

please be sweet

and lift the seat

goog luck i think i `ll try divorce. sarah janexx

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu May 19, 2005 2:35 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: I have the same problem hubby has been p*****g on the seat for years i have shouted screamed thrown things its pointless in my house .Men are stupid you

have to tell them straight... or try this :

If you tinkle when you sprinkle

please be sweet

and lift the seat

goog luck i think i `ll try divorce. sarah janexxAh but she loves him really! :-4

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Sun May 22, 2005 1:17 am

posted by Letha

Problem

1. He doesn't flush the toilet

2. He leaves the lid up (the dog then drinks his excrements, and leaves used toilet paper laying on the floor)

That is just disgusting, he doesn't care about your sensibilities so why are you worried about him? Clearly it's a deliberate act he nust know the effect it will have. Most blokes are terrified when a women loses their temper-lose yours a little. Maybe this is some kind of cry for help-he's trying to find out if you care enough about him to put up with his disgusting habits, it's a perverted dominance thing-he is pissing on you metaphorically.

in either case you and the rest of the housemates need to gang up on him before he loses your friendship forever.

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Sun May 22, 2005 1:26 am

letha wrote: I'm in need of funny slogans to put in the toilet and the kitchen, I shall explain the problem...

One of my housemates is a slob and it is driving me mad. I realise there is nothing to say he can actually read, but I'm willing to give this a go before I say things VERY bluntly to him.

Problem

1. He doesn't flush the toilet

2. He leaves the lid up (the dog then drinks his excrements, and leaves used toilet paper laying on the floor)

3. He doesn't clean his crumbs or anything else away

4. Instead of putting clean plates etc. away he leaves them piled on the side after removing them from the draining board.

So what I need is some funny slogans that relate to the above problems that I can put pictures to and put on the appropriate walls around the house, hopefully avoiding the blunt in-your-face talk.

His room is worse and stinks to high heaven, but he's been told as long as the smell doesn't start coming out we'll leave him to his embarrassment, when and if he finally gets a girlfriend.Put up a sign No Animals admitted.

beyelzu · Post by **beyelzu** » Sun May 22, 2005 2:51 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: I have the same problem hubby has been p*****g on the seat for years i have shouted screamed thrown things its pointless in my house .Men are stupid you

have to tell them straight... or try this :

If you sprinkle when you tinkle

please be sweet

and lift the seat

goog luck i think i `ll try divorce. sarah janexx
please provide proof that men are indeed stupid or retract.

I wont make sweeping generalizations about half the damn planet if you dont.

beyelzu · Post by **beyelzu** » Sun May 22, 2005 2:54 am

letha,

you could make a dick and jane reader.

See dick wash the dishes.

See dick put up the plates.

See dick not get murdered by his housemates.

See jane use the potty.

See Jane flush the toilet

See jane not being kicked out into the street and forced into a life of prostitution.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun May 22, 2005 2:57 am

beyelzu wrote: letha,

you could make a dick and jane reader.

See dick wash the dishes.

See dick put up the plates.

See dick not get murdered by his housemates.

See jane use the potty.

See Jane flush the toilet

See jane not being kicked out into the street and forced into a life of prostitution.

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sun May 22, 2005 4:22 am

Seeing as this thread has been active, I'll give the latest update on the housemate.

The other housemate (flopmate) bought a PC, something was a little wrong with it and we couldn't connect to the internet, the PIG works in one of the many London PC shops and supposedly builds PC's and repairs them.

The new PC has been taken to the shop as it went from a small problem to a major one of not working at all... Turns out the Bios was so badly flashed it now needs replacing.

PIG says "oh, but you need to remove the motherboard to flash the bios".

The PC is so new it has built in flash system, and when did you need to remove a motherboard to flash, it's done with a disk on old systems :yh_doh

I have a feeling flopmate and pig are going to come to blows very soon. :-5

The good news, my other half remembered to go and put the lid down as the dog came bounding up the stairs :wah:

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Sun May 22, 2005 4:25 am

capt_buzzard wrote: Put up a sign No Animals admitted.and knee him in the bollocks

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sun May 22, 2005 5:20 am

Violence is not the answer... Close to it though :yh_think

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun May 22, 2005 9:57 am

Slogans? Signs? You must be kidding. The guy is a grade A SLOB and is not going to change for you or anyone else. Why tolerate him? Get him out.