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Wolverine

<t>DANBURY, Conn. - Danbury officials have been notified they are being sued by a student who was awakened in class by a teacher who made a loud noise. Documents filed with the Town Clerk, a prelude to a lawsuit, claim that a sleeping student suffered hearing damage when his teacher woke him up by s...

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<t>Beer Troubleshooting Chart. i thought this might help Jimbo. SYMPTOM Feet cold and wet. FAULT Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM Feet w...

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this was drawn with a single stroke of the pen, circa 1880

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<t>i have no idea if this pic is real or not. it was sent to me in an email from some friends in Florida. here's the story... Florida Power & Light crew putting in lines for an addition to the Orlando International Airport found the following in a culvert they were using... ...

Wolverine

<t>i'm a bachelor, so i'm nekkid every dang chance i get. if i could figure out how to do yard work nekkid without the cops showing up, i would. nothing like sitting on the porch swing at 2am on a warm summer night, cig in one hand, a beer in the other and nothing on but yer birthday suit...

Wolverine

<t>ON MATH A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer...

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some good pics.

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<t>The Wife from Hell A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitt...

Wolverine

either:

Too much time on my hands

OR

Wolvie needs a woman

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dangit!! somebody strutting around without any undies and i missed it.

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motivational Poster

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<t>Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a n...

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<t>This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter. Dear Mr. That...

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<t>Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army b arber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That...

Wolverine

<t>A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are ...

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<t>A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy ...

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<t>A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't...

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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.

'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and played 18 holes of golf.

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jonesing-- wanting very badly. like an addiction

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this is about as close as we get here.

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<t>spot;781041 wrote: You want my advice? Politely ask Mexico if the US can merge with it and form a single federation with one national government. That brings the illegal immigrant problem down to manageable proportions, gives the US a complete new peon class to last for the next forty years and n...

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what the hell?? why is Dexter on CBS now?? did SHOwtime sell it?

what's going on???

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I'm horny. where's the KY?

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man, it's early. i read that 3 times and even opened it and watched it, patiently waiting for the BEER.

i'm like, "is the bear gonna drink a beer? i don't get it."

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weeder;776647 wrote: Ah,,, writing talent, and humor runs in the family. Again, very funny. So then, for many men... every day is VD day. Your idea would be something Hallmark might be interested in.

i don't know that i would want a VD every day, weeds.

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flopstock;776492 wrote: I got a 12 balloon bouquet today from a friend. I'm guessing I'll be practicing to make sure his day is just as great!:p

i volunteer myself to be your guinea pig

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Sheryl;776489 wrote: That's got to be one lonely day for single men.

you can be quiet now.

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<t>Guys, you know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that...

Wolverine

<t>not fat people. Smokers... half yes. and i say this, even tho i am a smoker. have been for more than a decade. It's free will. If i choose to smoke, knowing fulll well that it is someday going to kill me, then i don't have any right to bitch about my medical treatment when ...

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weeder;776284 wrote: That was amazing. Is this writer really your sister? Hilarious. Very Very good.

yeah. it was in an email dad got last night. i stopped over for dinner and we dang near pee'd ourselves reading it

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<t>Apparently, sis had a bad night Wednesday. At least her English Lit degree from U of Iowa is starting to pay off. ________________________________________________________________ All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, p...

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i thought the gardners across the pond might enjoy this one

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<r>Man's '91 Chevy pickup passes the 1M-mile mark. <URL url="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080212/ap_on_fe_st/odd_million_mile_truck;_ylt=Aly6xr_uv4xlP20pW.tKHFes0NUE"><LINK_TEXT text="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080212/ap_ ... tKHFes0NUE">http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080212/a...

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they're excavating. the dirts gotta go somewhere, right?

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i hate Wal-Mart.

I am proud to say that i have not shopped at one since September of '02

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<r>ThePheasant;773309 wrote: I guess I shouldn't joke about this. So I changed the title. Why do men flash and what pleasure do they get out of it? <EMOJI seq="1f914" tseq="1f914">:thinking:</EMOJI> i have no idea why guys flash. but i sure as Shoot...

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apparently Mr Simmons :guitarist has not adjusted well after being fired by "the Donald" from Celebrity Apprentice a few weeks ago.

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funny Pics from Canadia...

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<t>It turns out you can't keep a good man down _ or even dead and buried _ when he wears a red, white and blue uniform and calls himself Captain America. Marvel Comics, which killed off the veteran superhero almost a year ago, brought him back to life Wednesday _ sort of. Capta...

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close, but not quite.

well not realy that close.

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jimbo;771394 wrote:

well kathy bates could play floppy :wah::wah::wah:

Now, Jimbo. that's just mean.

Ms Bates is much cuter. :sneaky:

Love you Floppy.

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32 glimpses into Hell....

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not me.

my ancestors are pussies from mainland Europe

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WonderWendy3;767949 wrote: So, this means my kids aren't gonna get raped by George Michael right???:rolleyes:

i think you should worry more about Michael Jackson. George Michael like grown-ups

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<t>grh;767928 wrote: and speaking of holes they have trouble finding...:rolleyes: ya know guys, it's not like it's in a different place on each model.. I mean seriously, sometimes it's like you are determined to drill right through the hip joint.. and a subtle 'that aint it' j...

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<r>grh;767905 wrote: I can tell ya the absolute answer if you are prepared for it. You grew up on a farm. Everywhere was potential bathroom. So, you just whip it out ..shake it off and stuff it back in, barely breaking stride..sometimes not even bothering to rezip.<EMOJI seq="...

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dubs;767901 wrote: If I walked in that john and the guys had their belts undone. I'd be looking to see if George Michael was around...

EXACTLY!!!

thankyou

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<r>Sheryl;767874 wrote: it's kinda creepy that you know your fellow men's routines in the bathroom <EMOJI seq="1f914" tseq="1f914">:thinking:</EMOJI> oh fer CRIPE'S sake!!! shut the **** up. both of you. jeeez. it was a legitimate question. and i'm not "looking...

Wolverine

Here's a Picture of the World, as seen thru the Eyes of George W Bush

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