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<r>We now have more time, leisure and money. I think we have reached the stage where we can run our lives in a way to optimise this wonder machine, the body, which we have been given. In the past, it was the best most could do to go to work and eat pies and die of something specific. My plan is to l...

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<r>It's a word we are used to, an everyday word. It is a powerful word with three different meanings. It is my religion. Let me explain. The first meaning of 'Appreciation' is perhaps the most common definition of the word. 'Being grateful for' 'Thankful for something' even jus...

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<r>If you are a reader of any of my previous posts you will know I am a bit odd. Well, so are you. We are all complicated, and our brains are a mass of rational and irrational things. Are you a bit â€˜disturbedâ€™ by the dark in the loft? Frightened of a mouse that comes toward...

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<r>Cameron's in. Blair's out. Cameron might pull it off, for reasons that this post will explain. The Conservative Party now say they want to make themselves electable. I suppose that means they'll do anything to get back in. To be electable is to appear to be just ...

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<t>No Swearing. Two Soldiers are sweeping the path in front of some army huts. Private 1. Next thing I flicking knew it was out flicking brooms and the flicking runt told me to sweep the flicking path. Private 2. Cruel Sea? Private 1. What? Pri...

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spot;506027 wrote: Let him who constructs elaborate puns be the first stoned! You should be tied to your post and flogged, at least, Perky. Have you any idea how early in the morning it is to be inflicted with that? I'm only on my first coffee.

Ha Ha I'll get the rope. :-6

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<t>We are with Socrates in the shades of Academe, i.e. a field, near Athens. It is about 400BC. Socrates was very fond of asking awkward questions. Something like this:- 'Why should we tell the truth?' His acolytes darted their eyes about. By Zeus this was a tough one for a st...

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<r>Did you have a Grandma or Grandad who had a plethora of ancient sayings that they used to trot out at every opportunity? Post some you remember, or perhaps you still use them? Here's some to start us off! â€˜If you canâ€™t see it donâ€™t ask for it, we havenâ€™t got it.â€™<b...

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<t>Once upon a time there was a Little Old Man and a Little Old Woman. They were fairly old, not very old, and they had some money in the bank. They were fairly poor once but had saved and not been extravagant. What her Mother left them had given their bank account a considerable boost and the sale ...

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Diuretic;503890 wrote: Well placed in the history section. I remember hearing that one in 1975

Nice one Ha Ha

:-6

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<t>This is about Whale Oil. The other two words are added for fun and the whole title must be read at speed. Takes you back to School doesn't it? I'll come to the Whale Oil later. Like fire, or the aggregation of crystals, civilisation is spurred by itself. It has crackled and ...

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<r>A House for Everyone. We're coming up to it. The house buyers are now dying off. We'll inherit. We're laughing. In a few years there will be empty houses everywhere, or if they are concentrated, Middlesborough will be empty. In the good old days, up to about 1950, when the ...

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<t>‘Good Morning. Deep Blue Sea Trust UK National House-Owner Loans. Vicky speaking. How can I help you?’ ‘My name is Mr Prendergast. I’d like a loan please.’ ‘Are you a house-owner or mortgage holder?’ ‘Yes. ’ ‘How can I help you.’ ‘I’d like to...

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<r>It is an easily acquired accomplishment to work out very complicated problems, approximately. For example. What is 999 times one million and one? Answer. About a thousand million. What would you like estimating? Grains of sand in the Sahara? Drops of water in th...

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<r>Oh No, Itâ€™s happened again. At a party or a small social gathering, or a get-together in the pub, you are quite happy when up comes the well-being ascertainer, with this immortal question. â€˜Whatâ€™s the matter with you then?â€™ I think that people who ask this question...

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<t>The World as a whole has a wonderful fascinating diversity. Each facet of it complements each other facet and it is complete, nothing missing. It's a phenomenon, no less. You can better appreciate our marvellous balanced World of wonders if you delete something. For example, ice. If w...

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<r>Each generation has a difference to those that precede it and those that follow it. Until the middle of the twentieth century these changes were not great, but the differences between the generation that produced us, and ourselves, are greater than ever before. From the middle ages to...

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<t>Let us assume that the world will not end shortly. It has been going with us long enough. From about 500 years ago, when time did not matter much, and we decided we wanted something better than our neighbours, i.e. plates decorated with birds, knobs on the bed, etc. â€˜Showing offâ€™ things reall...

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<r>I am thoroughly enjoying being a member of this forum, and I am grateful for the many comments people have made. Several members have suggested I gather some of my ramblings and cartoons together in a book for publication. So I would like to ask some questions on this idea. ...

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<t>koan;498190 wrote: This is probably the first time I'd say I disagree with what you've written, Peter. Please remember most of what I say is pretty tongue in cheek, and should all be taken with a very big pinch of salt. I do help people of course, old ladies across the road etc ...

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<r>Be Wildered. I mean be bewildered. Loose that vice like grip on world management. Start not to know where everything is, or everybody's birthday, or what you are doing three weeks Saturday. A bit of confusion is not a bad thing. Expectations of you are less which must be a good start. Remember a ...

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<t>A bat, flying about in stygian darkness, in a narrow cave full of catamites and stigmatites, avoids all these obstructions by emitting ultrasonic pulses, and receiving their reflections back. Yeah, Yeah, and I can talk to dolphins. There's another phenomenon, dolphins. They do the sam...

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<r>Rapunzel;497417 wrote: Peter, whilst there are certain posters whose posts I always enjoy reading, it's getting to the stage where I get a shiver running down my spine, like a thrill of anticipation, whenever I see your name by a post. It's because I KNOW that I am about to read something good, w...

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<t>I mean: Builders versus Breakers. Cleaners versus Dirtiers. Carers versus the Irresponsible. The Self-Sufficient versus the Bloody Nuisance. Restorers versus Ruiners. The World seems roughly in balance (Just!), in terms of who sp...

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<t>The correct answer to the above question is. â€˜I have absolutely no idea.â€™ No more you have without a point of reference, which unfortunately you will never get. The yardstick is how other people feel. What is the norm? I bet in our normal, i.e. not sick condition, we all feel different. Docto...

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pompom;495656 wrote: I enjoyed your story very much, Peter - thank you :-6

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to read my ramblings, and comment on them. I also enjoy reading the others posts on the site.

Peter :-6

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<t>My last post before Christmas. Best wishes to everyone for the future. The Owl. A carved wooden Owl looked out of a shop window. Staring at the bus stop across the street, as if it were a hedgerow full of mice. An un-remarkable looking woman. Not young, not old, ...

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<r>The perception by children of adults is very interesting to me because, as an adult now, I donâ€™t now seem to have any of those attributes that I bestowed on them when I was a small child. Oddly enough I never expected to be an adult. I didnâ€™t necessarily expect to die, I just couldnâ€™t see m...

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<t>If ‘Game for a Laugh.’ ,`Caught on Camera' or any one of the dozen more hidden camera shows you can name was called ‘You’ve been Deceived and Ridiculed.’ would it have as big an audience? I’m afraid it probably would. But I can’t watch the destruction of trust and good-nature without wincing. It ...

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<r>Now I know this is a long post but it directly answers the initial question posed. I did write it a while back now as you will see. Half Marathon Man. At Aylsham, on May 2nd 1982, I watched the Holt Marathon runners pass, en route to Norwich. The half marathon runners finis...

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<r>Rapunzel;493674 wrote: Those cartoons are hilarious Peter! :wah: :wah: Do you really draw them? If so you should consider sending them to a card company, like Hallmark, because I'd CERTAINLY buy cards or calenders with your witty drawings on! Think about it! <E>:)</E> ...

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Uncle Kram;493643 wrote: Not THE Peter Perkins?

Which one do you mean? Which one do you think I am? I am certainly a "Peter Perkins" as that's my name.

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Back to the easel now.

Peter :wah:

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<r>Television Vertigo. I donâ€™t like heights. I understand vertigo now. I realise it is not just girly daftness and hereby apologise to all those I have maligned in the past when I did not suffer from it. Iâ€™m afraid Iâ€™ve taken vertigo two steps further. Firstly, not only...

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<t>I did not post this in the Art's and Crafts Forum as it's not that sort of art i'm talking about, I did not want to upset the members there either. It's just my view of course and no offence is intended. :---- I'm afraid you are too ignorant to really appreciate art. At a low level yo...

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<t>A contradiction in terms? Not at all. Iâ€™ve been a patient in the Hospice Twice. Now I visit every week to be kept an eye on, and be a member of this establishment, and a good thing too. Are we a beaten group? No. Unlucky? Well, yes, in that random average dishing out of cancer, we d...

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<r>Take your pick:- Atomic Bombs courtesy of Terrorists. An Asteroid, Small but Effective. Smallpox. We are under threat of extinction as never before. All of us at once , which is a great comfort. Singled out by a sharp little meteorite and smitten at...

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6'4" & 17 Stones.

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<r>I take the presumptive view these days that since I have lately been in a bit of a physical decline, and havenâ€™t been able to concentrate on much other than not kicking the bucket, you may be interested in an aspect of debility. A view from the wheelchair you see. Itâ€™s a novelty to me and qui...

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Richard Wagner

"Rienzi" The Opera. Final Act.

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<t>Have a Lucky Christmas. Christmas is a wonderful time for everyone. Especially the superstitious. Donâ€™t take the decorations down till twelfth night. We all know that, but do we know that if you have holly and ivy the two must be separated and the holly burnt. If you donâ...

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<r>There are great disadvantages in being disabled. There are however some advantages in concessions and considerations, which try to compensate, or at least ameliorate, the effects of disability. If you can get the latter advantages without the disadvantages of the former, th...

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<r>First I should describe Granny Perkins. Five foot high. A yard wide all the way down. Dressed all in black, everything fixed immovably in place by black buttons, even shoes, which were a sort of boots. I never saw any part of a leg and not much arm except about four inches of it, red and steaming...

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<r>In speech, and writing for that matter, we cross off more unacceptable words every day. See how offensive this is.. A fat old woman went out for a walk in the country. With her one good eye she looked at a black cow and a pig and a chicken.....Sorry about that but it could have been much worse.<b...

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You are welcome to use my work for non profit purposes with an appropriate credit/mention. Regards Peter :-6

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Three cartoons I did a while back.

"Stonehenge!"

Some alternative captions might be nice, can members oblige?

Peter :wah:

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<t>Evolution of mankind has reached a milestone. Men and women always have been basically incompatible. This accounts for the proliferation of Lesbians, Homosexuals and any other same sex arrangements, also spinsterhood, bachelordom, monks and nuns. No fault. No blame. This misalignment o...

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<t>Orâ€¦.. The Universe in Perspective. Got a minute? Good. Then you can understand the big picture, the Universe, once and for all, which is normally bloody difficult. The clever men from Oxford have been trying for ever and they wind up confusing us as comprehensively as the clever men ...

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<r>Transient, relatively short-lived periods of pain, i.e. toothache, childbirth, shutting fingers in a door, give you a good idea of what it is like, but not a long enough experience to need to formulate plans to deal with it for a long period. 'Deal With It', in this case, does not mean making it ...

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<r>I have here a set of felt tip pens. They are called 'Graffix 30 Quality Coloured Felt Tip Pens', on a bright printed cardboard insert in a long plastic case. The clear plastic case has a flap, thirty little grooves, each for a pen and a plastic carrying handle. The pens themselves are the colour ...

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