Search found 172 matches
- Tue May 09, 2006 12:30 pm
- Forum: Australia
- Topic: Anti Pomme joke
- Replies: 24
- Views: 11716
Anti Pomme joke
<t>Diuretic wrote: If you were an aboriginal Frederick, you'd see the joke differently. Where a joke depends on putting someone else down - individually or collectively - it's just not funny. For example English jokes in Australia work on the stereotype that English people have bad hygiene. Irish jo...
- Mon May 08, 2006 3:50 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Goodbye from Fred...
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1393
Goodbye from Fred...
devist8me wrote: 3 month vacation? Wouldn't that be wonderful!
Read all about it in the News Of The World!!!!!!!!!
Read all about it in the News Of The World!!!!!!!!!
- Mon May 08, 2006 3:29 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Goodbye from Fred...
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1393
Goodbye from Fred...
What was that?? Yeehaw!! did somebody say? Do I hear the popping of champagne bottles? It's a fact - this is my last message to all at ForumGarden.com. I'll be back in three months. Bye.
- Mon May 08, 2006 3:14 pm
- Forum: Australia
- Topic: Anti Pomme joke
- Replies: 24
- Views: 11716
Anti Pomme joke
<t>ArnoldLayne wrote: Us Poms (British) have been the but of a lot of jokes over the years, mostly friendly rivalry between us and the Ozzies. <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> The joke assumes the Pom at the bottom of the social pile and by marrying an Aborignal Australian we would be elevating up to the nex...
- Sun May 07, 2006 2:37 pm
- Forum: Australia
- Topic: Anti Pomme joke
- Replies: 24
- Views: 11716
Anti Pomme joke
<t>I was out in Perth in '78 and loved the Aussie sense of humour. One of them told an anti Pomme joke which I still laugh at.<br/> <br/> Q. What do you call a Pomme who Marries an Aborigine?<br/> <br/> A. A bloody social climber!<br/> <br/> Come on, let's hear some more of them - I have the skin of...
- Sun May 07, 2006 2:11 pm
- Forum: General Religious Discussions
- Topic: An extremely absurd seeking help
- Replies: 27
- Views: 2934
An extremely absurd seeking help
<r>chonsigirl wrote: No, it is one child. Economic penalties apply to those who have more then one, you must apply for permission to have more then one child.<br/> <br/> <URL url="http://www.china.org.cn/english/2002/Oct/46138.htm">http://www.china.org.cn/english/2002/Oct/46138.htm</URL><br/> <br/> ...
- Sun May 07, 2006 1:51 pm
- Forum: General Religious Discussions
- Topic: An extremely absurd seeking help
- Replies: 27
- Views: 2934
An extremely absurd seeking help
<t>downag wrote: Now I didn't check "every" word in his posts, but I did notice that the ones I did check were all spelled correctly. Curious.<br/> <br/> Also, someone mentioned about the Chinese not being allowed more than one child. THAT IS/was THE LAW. WU says he's 22, that makes it 1984ish when ...
- Sun May 07, 2006 1:27 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: My wise Chinese philosopher friend says
- Replies: 3
- Views: 810
My wise Chinese philosopher friend says
chonsigirl wrote: Wonder what the jury would say about that....................:wah:
I don't have that problem any more - I used to be conceited, but now I'm just perfect.
I don't have that problem any more - I used to be conceited, but now I'm just perfect.
- Sun May 07, 2006 6:29 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: I don't usually ask
- Replies: 7
- Views: 620
I don't usually ask
<t>chonsigirl wrote: I shall pray for them this morning at church, Gordon................<br/> <br/> <br/> Although I am not a Catholic, when I do pray (I prefer a a church with few people inside so that I am unable to concentrate) I always light a candle, and my last prayer is always on behalf of t...
- Tue May 02, 2006 4:47 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: 50 thing's to do before you die
- Replies: 19
- Views: 943
50 thing's to do before you die
<t>buttercup wrote: i highly recommend it, this is me & my internet/ now real life friend, she's just as amazing in real life as she was online, like ive said before you can tell if someone is a good person or bad over a period of time by the content of thier posts <br/> <br/> hope you have the ...
- Tue May 02, 2006 3:59 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Were You Born at a Different Time
- Replies: 60
- Views: 2236
Were You Born at a Different Time
<t>chonsigirl wrote: I thought Arnold was going out on a limb there with his outfit.....................:wah:<br/> <br/> <br/> I never realised there was so much nostalgic olduns out there - roller skating, soapbox carts, climbing conker trees, knock down ginger (postman's knock) spinning tops, five...
- Mon May 01, 2006 12:47 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: May Day
- Replies: 10
- Views: 896
May Day
<t>Rapunzel wrote: White Rabbits, happy MayDay, and happy Beltane to northern hemisphere pagans! <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> White rabbits come naturally to me - I had one for six-and-a-half years, which is pretty good for a lop eared white. At one stage we had two rabbits, three cats, two birds a...
- Mon May 01, 2006 12:57 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Do You Shower Every Day?
- Replies: 50
- Views: 2678
Do You Shower Every Day?
<r>cars wrote: We have a neighbor who doesn't seem to "Shower" every day! She says that she has not perspired the day before, therefore she says she doesn't think she needs to take a Shower. (SHE NEEDS TO!!!:wah: ) <br/> <br/> So do/would you cheat, and sometimes skip the daily Shower? <E>:eek:</E><...
- Mon May 01, 2006 12:35 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: May Day
- Replies: 10
- Views: 896
May Day
White Rabbits Everybody
- Sun Apr 30, 2006 4:17 pm
- Forum: Just For The Fun Of It
- Topic: The Funeral
- Replies: 3
- Views: 669
The Funeral
Sheryl wrote: Now there's a way to get the attention of your congregation. :-2
BRILL! I LOVE IT!:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
BRILL! I LOVE IT!:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
- Sun Apr 30, 2006 4:04 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: come on fess up ....
- Replies: 22
- Views: 1748
come on fess up ....
Uncle Kram wrote: My wounds have healed mrsK :-4
I got popcorn early one morning thinking of somebody else! What a cad, eh?
I got popcorn early one morning thinking of somebody else! What a cad, eh?
- Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:04 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: How to outwit a burglar.
- Replies: 40
- Views: 4224
How to outwit a burglar.
BabyRider wrote: A friend of mine has a similar one, only it's a Doberman picture and it says, "I can make it to the fence in 1.6 seconds....can you?"
Brill!:yh_rotfl
Brill!:yh_rotfl
- Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:52 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Silence Is Golden??
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1955
Silence Is Golden??
<r>CARLA wrote: Yes Aol has that HUGE hesitation before it allows you to do anything it hang for about 5 minutes not sure why and be darned it they can help you. <br/> <br/> If you want a legit Registry cleaner try Registry Mechanic excellent I used the free version for a long time and bought it las...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:56 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: How to outwit a burglar.
- Replies: 40
- Views: 4224
How to outwit a burglar.
<t>Diuretic wrote: You would indeed Frederick, but when you walked back and saw the boots weren't there you'd think to yourself, "hmmmm, gone to work" and you - well not you, but the housebreaker - would then go to work. Housebreakers generally speaking don't want to confront the householder, it's t...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:20 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Silence Is Golden??
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1955
Silence Is Golden??
<t>abbey wrote: If you run your AV does it check virus free?<br/> <br/> <br/> Yes Ab - clean as a whistle. When the boxed info also told me to reboot my computer, the help icon didn't know what I was talking about, so I left well alone. I never had this trouble with BT, so I meant what I said: I mig...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:05 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Silence Is Golden??
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1955
Silence Is Golden??
<r>jennyswan wrote: I got so fed up with the internet system going into sixty-second compulsory shut down, I sent aol an official complaint telling them that despite their standard computer check giving me the all clear it was still happening. I further pointed out that these problems did not affect...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:59 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Silence Is Golden??
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1955
Silence Is Golden??
<r>I got so fed up with the internet system going into sixty-second compulsory shut down, I sent aol an official complaint telling them that despite their standard computer check giving me the all clear it was still happening. I further pointed out that these problems did not affect any other system...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:39 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: How to outwit a burglar.
- Replies: 40
- Views: 4224
How to outwit a burglar.
<t>I know it's terribly old hat, but if I were a burglar walking past a house and saw a hefty pair of mud-covered Paddy boots, I'd probably walk on. Pure psychology, but it does actually work. The same as seeing a sticker Wan Pie Su Karate club on the back of a car windscreen. Neighbourhood Watch is...
- Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:02 pm
- Forum: Just For The Fun Of It
- Topic: Eye on the ball
- Replies: 0
- Views: 1240
Eye on the ball
<t>Very early one morning, Peter knocked on God's door.<br/> <br/> "Forgive me Lord, I know this is your day of rest, but I feel there is something you'd better know. A monk is about to play a game of golf, instead of carrying out Holy Orders. Furious, God is out of bed in a second, and peers over a...
- Sun Apr 23, 2006 4:00 pm
- Forum: Just For The Fun Of It
- Topic: Marital unbliss
- Replies: 0
- Views: 949
Marital unbliss
<t>A man has a blazing row with his wife. In the end, unable to take any more, he storms out of the house, screaming "Mamma, Masoutti, Mattorini!" and slams the door, leaving her speachless. He seeks solace in a pub, and buys some good looking girl a drink. His chat-up line?<br/> <br/> "My wife does...
- Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:46 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: The philosopher Ah Foo says
- Replies: 2
- Views: 452
The philosopher Ah Foo says
Frederick wrote: Chinese philosopher, he say no such thing as rape - girl with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down!
Man with hole in pocket, he feel cocky all day!
Man with hole in pocket, he feel cocky all day!
- Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:42 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: The philosopher Ah Foo says
- Replies: 2
- Views: 452
The philosopher Ah Foo says
gordonartist wrote: A man can be judged by what he laughs at.
Take care,
Gordon.
Chinese philosopher, he say no such thing as rape - girl with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down!
Take care,
Gordon.
Chinese philosopher, he say no such thing as rape - girl with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down!
- Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:24 pm
- Forum: Films Cinema Forum
- Topic: The Feel Good Factor
- Replies: 28
- Views: 2046
The Feel Good Factor
<t>Lon wrote: How about "Death Wish" with Charles Bronson. Didn't everyone in the theatre cheer when he started blowin away the bad guys. RETRIBUTION for the rape and murder of his wife and daughter.<br/> <br/> <br/> A colleague told me he came home from work to find his wife and daughter bawling th...
- Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:15 pm
- Forum: Just For The Fun Of It
- Topic: Bullfrog
- Replies: 3
- Views: 526
Bullfrog
valerie wrote:
Don't give up your day job.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Don't give up your day job.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
- Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:01 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Is Freemasons a secret Society?
- Replies: 18
- Views: 2161
Is Freemasons a secret Society?
<r>Clancy wrote: .....I knew there was something I liked about you <E>;)</E> <E>:)</E><br/> <br/> <br/> Far more entertaining than being a mason if bluffing your way through small business associates. Most people wouldn't know a mason if one hit them in the mouth. Just look a small struggling busine...
- Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:38 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: What kind of person are you...
- Replies: 35
- Views: 1814
What kind of person are you...
<t>buttercup wrote: i dont think we ever truly know anybody, internet or real life<br/> <br/> <br/> I have always been as straight as a die - what's the point of not being? Lies destroy people's trust and confidence in others. I know it's a cliche, but it's true - you know what to do with a thief, b...
- Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:00 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Doctor...
- Replies: 0
- Views: 366
Doctor...
<t>A doctor was slowly making his way round one of the wards when he noticed a new arrival looking positively anxious. The ward sister introduced him.<br/> <br/> "Ah, doctor. This is Mr Wilson. We are going to have to carry out a colostomy before removing part of his diaphram due to..."<br/> <br/> A...
- Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:58 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Memory out
- Replies: 14
- Views: 2083
Memory out
sixyearsleft wrote: Thanks babe:)
believe me i'm no expert but defragging is important especially if you have a small hard drive. :-6
happy fragging fred:)
Happy fragging?? THAT SOUNDS POSITIVE EROTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:o
believe me i'm no expert but defragging is important especially if you have a small hard drive. :-6
happy fragging fred:)
Happy fragging?? THAT SOUNDS POSITIVE EROTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:o
- Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:51 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Memory out
- Replies: 14
- Views: 2083
Memory out
<t>BabyRider wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl<br/> <br/> I guess it could sound that way, huh? Physically painful, no. Figuring out how to do it was a nightmare, though. And it is time-consuming. What exactly it accomplishes is beyond me, Bullet is the resident computer guru in our household. If Anastroph...
- Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:36 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Memory out
- Replies: 14
- Views: 2083
Memory out
<t>BabyRider wrote: I'm not the best person to be replying to this, Frederick, (my computer skills and knowledge are minimal at best) but I got the same window on occassion. Bullet "defragged" our computer and it seems to working much faster now. Have you done a defrag recently?<br/> <br/> <br/> Is ...
- Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:25 am
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Memory out
- Replies: 14
- Views: 2083
Memory out
Occasionally when I turn on I get an info box saying something like memory full at line 94. I click ok, and then continue and all seems ok. What should I do about it - everything seems to function ok.
- Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:11 am
- Forum: Members' News
- Topic: My Birthday
- Replies: 53
- Views: 4133
My Birthday
<t>Nomad wrote: My birthday is April 17th. I just wanted to let everyone know not to do anything, just pretend like its an ordinary day. I dont want anyone making a big deal out of my birthday on April 17th. April 17th is just another regular day ok ? April 17th is just the day after April 16th and ...
- Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:43 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Check it out Chonsi
- Replies: 10
- Views: 746
Check it out Chonsi
<r>valerie wrote: A brand new site, nothing on it yet but dedicated to all things<br/> <br/> bun-bun!!<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <URL url="http://rileysbunnysite.16.forumer.com/">http://rileysbunnysite.16.forumer.com/</URL><br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> Wow - that's some site: it...
- Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:14 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Anglo/Irirsh tug of war
- Replies: 3
- Views: 443
Anglo/Irirsh tug of war
<r>Bez wrote: Hey Frederick...you're sharp as a knife tonight <E>:D</E><br/> <br/> <br/> Thanks. As soon as people at work see me approach, they all say in unision:<br/> <br/> "Oh no - not another Fred joke!" Which seemed an appropriate title for a book I began writing. It was to contain 1000 corny ...
- Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:44 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Anglo/Irirsh tug of war
- Replies: 3
- Views: 443
Anglo/Irirsh tug of war
The proposed tug of war match between Great Britain and Northern Ireland has had to be temporarily postponed - they couldn't find a length of rope long enough.
- Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:27 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Meal times
- Replies: 3
- Views: 548
Meal times
<t>A priest and a rabbi were having lunch together in a local restaurant. Halfway through the meal, the priest leant across to the rabbi and asked him in lowered tones:<br/> <br/> "Rabbi, we've known each other a few years now, have you ever eaten pork?"<br/> <br/> The rabbi smiles slightly and nods...
- Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:00 pm
- Forum: Introductions
- Topic: Allow me to introduce myself
- Replies: 23
- Views: 4874
Allow me to introduce myself
spot wrote: My child, with you in sight, who could blame him?
I knew a Miles Long. Like teaching a parrot to swear, the novelty soon wears off.
I knew a Miles Long. Like teaching a parrot to swear, the novelty soon wears off.
- Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:49 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Going batty!
- Replies: 2
- Views: 367
Going batty!
<t>A couple of vampire bats living in a belfry go in search for cattle to suck their blood. After a couple of hours, one of them returns empty handed, whereas half-an-hour later the second one returns, his face covered in blood, and settles down exhausted.<br/> <br/> "Where've you been?" Asks the ot...
- Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:50 pm
- Forum: Current Events
- Topic: Homeland Security Officer Arrested In Child Sex Sting
- Replies: 8
- Views: 1330
Homeland Security Officer Arrested In Child Sex Sting
<r>lady cop wrote: A deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested at his Maryland home on charges he used his computer in an attempt to seduce a child and transmitted harmful materials to a minor, according to the Polk County, Florida, Sheriff's Office.<br/> <br/>...
- Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:29 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Media will not let Princess Di rest is peace!
- Replies: 18
- Views: 803
Media will not let Princess Di rest is peace!
<t>Maybe I'm a cold hearted b*stard, but when Diana died, I read it as just that - AN ITEM OF NEWS. Full stop, end of story. I genuinely wondered whether I was the only person not wailing and gnashing my teeth. It was mass hysteria on a scale never seen before, and something which I hope will never ...
- Sun Apr 02, 2006 2:15 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Ebay
- Replies: 19
- Views: 1422
Ebay
<t>abbey wrote: erm no...just thought i'd post a positive.<br/> <br/> Hopefully i wont have the experiences you've had.<br/> <br/> <br/> I hope you continue to find e-bay a success. Obviously the vast majority of customers do, otherwise it wouldn't be there, but as I said, I would profer to see more...
- Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:19 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Ebay
- Replies: 19
- Views: 1422
Ebay
abbey wrote: I ordered a skype phone off Amazon on the Tues got it on the thurs
and it was much cheaper than the stores i'm very impressed.
Bully for you - buy one every day, do you?
and it was much cheaper than the stores i'm very impressed.
Bully for you - buy one every day, do you?
- Sun Apr 02, 2006 12:52 pm
- Forum: General Chit Chat
- Topic: Ebay
- Replies: 19
- Views: 1422
Ebay
<t>abbey wrote: Phew.......Deep breaths Rapunzel, deep breaths. <br/> <br/> <br/> I'm sorry, but I'm in total disagreement. I was far from satisfied trying to pay by paypal, and found the e-bay system anything but straightforward. In the end, I used some other payment system. I had a lot of trouble ...
- Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:02 pm
- Forum: Poetry Writing Forum
- Topic: In Desperation
- Replies: 7
- Views: 1316
In Desperation
SnoozeControl wrote: You two are just too clever for words. :-4
More please.
I agree - absolutely brilliant! You're both in the wrong jobs.
More please.
I agree - absolutely brilliant! You're both in the wrong jobs.
- Wed Mar 29, 2006 4:09 pm
- Forum: Just For The Fun Of It
- Topic: Indecent Exposure
- Replies: 4
- Views: 782
Indecent Exposure
SnoozeControl wrote: Makes sense to me.
Like my wife. She told me she'd been confronted by an Irish flasher. I asked her how she knew she was Irish.
"He ripped open his shirt." She replied!
Like my wife. She told me she'd been confronted by an Irish flasher. I asked her how she knew she was Irish.
"He ripped open his shirt." She replied!