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Frederick

<t>Diuretic wrote: If you were an aboriginal Frederick, you'd see the joke differently. Where a joke depends on putting someone else down - individually or collectively - it's just not funny. For example English jokes in Australia work on the stereotype that English people have bad hygiene. Irish jo...

Frederick

devist8me wrote: 3 month vacation? Wouldn't that be wonderful!

Read all about it in the News Of The World!!!!!!!!!

Frederick

What was that?? Yeehaw!! did somebody say? Do I hear the popping of champagne bottles? It's a fact - this is my last message to all at ForumGarden.com. I'll be back in three months. Bye.

Frederick

<t>ArnoldLayne wrote: Us Poms (British) have been the but of a lot of jokes over the years, mostly friendly rivalry between us and the Ozzies. The joke assumes the Pom at the bottom of the social pile and by marrying an Aborignal Australian we would be elevating up to the nex...

Frederick

<t>I was out in Perth in '78 and loved the Aussie sense of humour. One of them told an anti Pomme joke which I still laugh at. Q. What do you call a Pomme who Marries an Aborigine? A. A bloody social climber! Come on, let's hear some more of them - I have the skin of...

Frederick

<r>chonsigirl wrote: No, it is one child. Economic penalties apply to those who have more then one, you must apply for permission to have more then one child. <URL url="http://www.china.org.cn/english/2002/Oct/46138.htm">http://www.china.org.cn/english/2002/Oct/46138.htm</URL> ...

Frederick

<t>downag wrote: Now I didn't check "every" word in his posts, but I did notice that the ones I did check were all spelled correctly. Curious. Also, someone mentioned about the Chinese not being allowed more than one child. THAT IS/was THE LAW. WU says he's 22, that makes it 1984ish when ...

Frederick

chonsigirl wrote: Wonder what the jury would say about that....................:wah:

I don't have that problem any more - I used to be conceited, but now I'm just perfect.

Frederick

<t>chonsigirl wrote: I shall pray for them this morning at church, Gordon................ Although I am not a Catholic, when I do pray (I prefer a a church with few people inside so that I am unable to concentrate) I always light a candle, and my last prayer is always on behalf of t...

Frederick

<t>buttercup wrote: i highly recommend it, this is me & my internet/ now real life friend, she's just as amazing in real life as she was online, like ive said before you can tell if someone is a good person or bad over a period of time by the content of thier posts hope you have the ...

Frederick

<t>chonsigirl wrote: I thought Arnold was going out on a limb there with his outfit.....................:wah: I never realised there was so much nostalgic olduns out there - roller skating, soapbox carts, climbing conker trees, knock down ginger (postman's knock) spinning tops, five...

Frederick

<t>Rapunzel wrote: White Rabbits, happy MayDay, and happy Beltane to northern hemisphere pagans! White rabbits come naturally to me - I had one for six-and-a-half years, which is pretty good for a lop eared white. At one stage we had two rabbits, three cats, two birds a...

Frederick

<r>cars wrote: We have a neighbor who doesn't seem to "Shower" every day! She says that she has not perspired the day before, therefore she says she doesn't think she needs to take a Shower. (SHE NEEDS TO!!!:wah: ) So do/would you cheat, and sometimes skip the daily Shower? <E>:eek:</E><...

Frederick

White Rabbits Everybody

Frederick

Sheryl wrote: Now there's a way to get the attention of your congregation. :-2

BRILL! I LOVE IT!:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Frederick

Uncle Kram wrote: My wounds have healed mrsK :-4

I got popcorn early one morning thinking of somebody else! What a cad, eh?

Frederick

BabyRider wrote: A friend of mine has a similar one, only it's a Doberman picture and it says, "I can make it to the fence in 1.6 seconds....can you?"

Brill!:yh_rotfl

Frederick

<r>CARLA wrote: Yes Aol has that HUGE hesitation before it allows you to do anything it hang for about 5 minutes not sure why and be darned it they can help you. If you want a legit Registry cleaner try Registry Mechanic excellent I used the free version for a long time and bought it las...

Frederick

<t>Diuretic wrote: You would indeed Frederick, but when you walked back and saw the boots weren't there you'd think to yourself, "hmmmm, gone to work" and you - well not you, but the housebreaker - would then go to work. Housebreakers generally speaking don't want to confront the householder, it's t...

Frederick

<t>abbey wrote: If you run your AV does it check virus free? Yes Ab - clean as a whistle. When the boxed info also told me to reboot my computer, the help icon didn't know what I was talking about, so I left well alone. I never had this trouble with BT, so I meant what I said: I mig...

Frederick

<r>jennyswan wrote: I got so fed up with the internet system going into sixty-second compulsory shut down, I sent aol an official complaint telling them that despite their standard computer check giving me the all clear it was still happening. I further pointed out that these problems did not affect...

Frederick

<r>I got so fed up with the internet system going into sixty-second compulsory shut down, I sent aol an official complaint telling them that despite their standard computer check giving me the all clear it was still happening. I further pointed out that these problems did not affect any other system...

Frederick

<t>I know it's terribly old hat, but if I were a burglar walking past a house and saw a hefty pair of mud-covered Paddy boots, I'd probably walk on. Pure psychology, but it does actually work. The same as seeing a sticker Wan Pie Su Karate club on the back of a car windscreen. Neighbourhood Watch is...

Frederick

<t>Very early one morning, Peter knocked on God's door. "Forgive me Lord, I know this is your day of rest, but I feel there is something you'd better know. A monk is about to play a game of golf, instead of carrying out Holy Orders. Furious, God is out of bed in a second, and peers over a...

Frederick

<t>A man has a blazing row with his wife. In the end, unable to take any more, he storms out of the house, screaming "Mamma, Masoutti, Mattorini!" and slams the door, leaving her speachless. He seeks solace in a pub, and buys some good looking girl a drink. His chat-up line? "My wife does...

Frederick

Frederick wrote: Chinese philosopher, he say no such thing as rape - girl with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down!

Man with hole in pocket, he feel cocky all day!

Frederick

gordonartist wrote: A man can be judged by what he laughs at.

Take care,

Gordon.

Chinese philosopher, he say no such thing as rape - girl with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down!

Frederick

<t>Lon wrote: How about "Death Wish" with Charles Bronson. Didn't everyone in the theatre cheer when he started blowin away the bad guys. RETRIBUTION for the rape and murder of his wife and daughter. A colleague told me he came home from work to find his wife and daughter bawling th...

Frederick

valerie wrote:

Don't give up your day job.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Frederick

<r>Clancy wrote: .....I knew there was something I liked about you <E>;)</E> <E>:)</E> Far more entertaining than being a mason if bluffing your way through small business associates. Most people wouldn't know a mason if one hit them in the mouth. Just look a small struggling busine...

Frederick

<t>buttercup wrote: i dont think we ever truly know anybody, internet or real life I have always been as straight as a die - what's the point of not being? Lies destroy people's trust and confidence in others. I know it's a cliche, but it's true - you know what to do with a thief, b...

Frederick

<t>A doctor was slowly making his way round one of the wards when he noticed a new arrival looking positively anxious. The ward sister introduced him. "Ah, doctor. This is Mr Wilson. We are going to have to carry out a colostomy before removing part of his diaphram due to..." A...

Frederick

sixyearsleft wrote: Thanks babe:)

believe me i'm no expert but defragging is important especially if you have a small hard drive. :-6

happy fragging fred:)

Happy fragging?? THAT SOUNDS POSITIVE EROTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:o

Frederick

<t>BabyRider wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl I guess it could sound that way, huh? Physically painful, no. Figuring out how to do it was a nightmare, though. And it is time-consuming. What exactly it accomplishes is beyond me, Bullet is the resident computer guru in our household. If Anastroph...

Frederick

<t>BabyRider wrote: I'm not the best person to be replying to this, Frederick, (my computer skills and knowledge are minimal at best) but I got the same window on occassion. Bullet "defragged" our computer and it seems to working much faster now. Have you done a defrag recently? Is ...

Frederick

Occasionally when I turn on I get an info box saying something like memory full at line 94. I click ok, and then continue and all seems ok. What should I do about it - everything seems to function ok.

Frederick

<t>Nomad wrote: My birthday is April 17th. I just wanted to let everyone know not to do anything, just pretend like its an ordinary day. I dont want anyone making a big deal out of my birthday on April 17th. April 17th is just another regular day ok ? April 17th is just the day after April 16th and ...

Frederick

<r>valerie wrote: A brand new site, nothing on it yet but dedicated to all things bun-bun!! <URL url="http://rileysbunnysite.16.forumer.com/">http://rileysbunnysite.16.forumer.com/</URL> Wow - that's some site: it...

Frederick

<r>Bez wrote: Hey Frederick...you're sharp as a knife tonight <E>:D</E> Thanks. As soon as people at work see me approach, they all say in unision: "Oh no - not another Fred joke!" Which seemed an appropriate title for a book I began writing. It was to contain 1000 corny ...

Frederick

The proposed tug of war match between Great Britain and Northern Ireland has had to be temporarily postponed - they couldn't find a length of rope long enough.

Frederick

<t>A priest and a rabbi were having lunch together in a local restaurant. Halfway through the meal, the priest leant across to the rabbi and asked him in lowered tones: "Rabbi, we've known each other a few years now, have you ever eaten pork?" The rabbi smiles slightly and nods...

Frederick

spot wrote: My child, with you in sight, who could blame him?

I knew a Miles Long. Like teaching a parrot to swear, the novelty soon wears off.

Frederick

<t>A couple of vampire bats living in a belfry go in search for cattle to suck their blood. After a couple of hours, one of them returns empty handed, whereas half-an-hour later the second one returns, his face covered in blood, and settles down exhausted. "Where've you been?" Asks the ot...

Frederick

<r>lady cop wrote: A deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested at his Maryland home on charges he used his computer in an attempt to seduce a child and transmitted harmful materials to a minor, according to the Polk County, Florida, Sheriff's Office. ...

Frederick

<t>Maybe I'm a cold hearted b*stard, but when Diana died, I read it as just that - AN ITEM OF NEWS. Full stop, end of story. I genuinely wondered whether I was the only person not wailing and gnashing my teeth. It was mass hysteria on a scale never seen before, and something which I hope will never ...

Frederick

<t>abbey wrote: erm no...just thought i'd post a positive. Hopefully i wont have the experiences you've had. I hope you continue to find e-bay a success. Obviously the vast majority of customers do, otherwise it wouldn't be there, but as I said, I would profer to see more...

Frederick

abbey wrote: I ordered a skype phone off Amazon on the Tues got it on the thurs

and it was much cheaper than the stores i'm very impressed.

Bully for you - buy one every day, do you?

Frederick

<t>abbey wrote: Phew.......Deep breaths Rapunzel, deep breaths. I'm sorry, but I'm in total disagreement. I was far from satisfied trying to pay by paypal, and found the e-bay system anything but straightforward. In the end, I used some other payment system. I had a lot of trouble ...

Frederick

SnoozeControl wrote: You two are just too clever for words. :-4

More please.
I agree - absolutely brilliant! You're both in the wrong jobs.

Frederick

SnoozeControl wrote: Makes sense to me.

Like my wife. She told me she'd been confronted by an Irish flasher. I asked her how she knew she was Irish.

"He ripped open his shirt." She replied!

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